


Returned

by greeneggsandham25



Series: After- Drarry [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Drarry, DrarryFanFic, Fluff and Angst, Harry Potter Next Generation, Heavy Angst, Hogwarts, M/M, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Romoine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 53
Words: 78,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28439568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greeneggsandham25/pseuds/greeneggsandham25
Summary: Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy have finally gotten used to a quiet life together in America. But unexpected circumstances force them to face their pasts, which have come to haunt their present. Will they be able to work through it all together?--THIS IS A SEQUEL TO AFTER. PLEASE READ THAT BOOK BEFORE OPENING THIS ONE, OR YOU WILL BE THOROUGHLY CONFUSED---Trigger warnings for this whole thing. Mentions of abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, rape, etc.The plot, and some minor characters, are the only thing that belongs to me and my friendThis story can also be found on Wattpad and Harrypotterfanfiction.com  under the same title. My users are iwatt0245607 and greeneggsandham25 respectively.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Millicent Bulstrode/Dudley Dursley, Scorpius Malfoy/Rose Weasley, Teddy Lupin/Original Character(s), Teddy Lupin/Victoire Weasley
Series: After- Drarry [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2012536
Comments: 17
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

—Harry POV—

"So," Draco started, settling into bed for the night.

"Scorpius has expressed to me how dearly he would like for Rose to attend his birthday party." I stayed silent.

"That means you have to Owl your friends." He finished, turning to me with his head propped up my his elbow.

"Scorpius and Rose are friends? Since when?"

"Are you kidding me? She's been all he can talk about for the past month." My eyes widened. I really need to pay more attention to him.

"Okay... why don't you Owl them?"

"They're _your_ friends." He said with a straight face. I turned my head away in annoyance, and he spoke again.

"You know that if you didn't keep ignoring their Owls it would be easier, right?"

"I'm not _ignoring_ their owls... I'm just not responding to them-"

"That's ignoring them, Harry." I sighed in frustration at the topic.

"He's _your_ son... write to Hermione. She probably hates you less than anyone else there."

"Merlin, sorry for ever asking your help." He said dramatically. I turned to him in slight panic at his words.

"Draco you know it's not like that, I just-"

"I know. You're scared to see how your stupidity has affected them."

"Draco-"

"I'll Owl her. Don't worry about it. But be ready, because if they come, you aren't starting an argument at _my son's_ birthday." He turned to face away from me. "You aren't starting any problems on his day. Goodnight."

I laid on my back with a sigh, taking off my glasses and putting them on the nightstand. _I just don't want to read about how they're fussing over me. I know they are. I just want them to forget what I did..._ Responding just takes so much energy from me. Thinking about all of that drains me. And I don't want to answer all of their questions. It feels like every Owl asks 'How are you?' Or 'Is everything alright?' And then those are always accompanied by a flood of other questions. It's never ending. Then every letter continues with something about Ginny, 'The baby kicked for the first time' or 'The baby is doing fine', 'the morning sickness is gone'. Then 'We miss you'. _Every time._ I'm tired of it. I don't want to talk about life because it just-

"Harry, watch your breathing." I heard. My jaw tensed in realization that it had picked up. I took a deep breath, calming my slightly increased heart rate.

"Sorry." I mumbled. "Goodnight." I finished.

"Goodnight, Harry."

Things were quiet and still for a while, and I was just letting the ceiling blend into a mush of darkness while I stared at it, when Draco spoke again.

"Hey... don't think about it too much; It's going to be alright. I'm sure Hermione won't mind an Owl from me... try to get some sleep, alright?"

"Okay." I said numbly. I felt the bed shift as Draco turned around to face me. He reached a hand out, moving some stray hairs away from my eyes.

"Try not to think about it too much." He whispered. I turned to my side so we were facing each other.

"I'm sorry." I whispered to him softly. It was barely audible, but I knew he heard me.

"Stop apologizing, please. If anything, I guess... I was a bit harsh with my words." He began, but I cut him off.

"You can't apologize, you were right." I told him.

"So what?" He claimed. "I could have been more... sensitive." He concluded, moving so our foreheads can rest against each others. I closed my eyes, staying silent, just letting the feeling of us flow through my mind.

"Goodnight." I told him.

"Goodnight." He replied.

—2 Days later—  
—Draco POV—

I had just sent Scorpius to get a shower when an Owl flew in through the open patio door with a letter, which I recognized as Hermione's owl that comes every week. Assuming the letter was mine for once, I grabbed it, reading.

She and Weasley will be attending Scorpius's birthday party, it says. And after that, I received loads of other questions regarding Harry. 'Has he been receiving our Owls?' 'Is he alright' 'Has anything happened?' 'How are the two of you?'

Those were just a few. I knew Harry was ignoring them, and I know that they've been asking him questions. But I decided it's only common courtesy to answer them, and so I did, whether Harry would like it or not. Just then, I heard the toilet flush down the hall, and Harry came to my side.

"What're you doing?" He asked curiously, noticing the Owl in the room.

"Replying to Hermione's letter. I said simply, continuing to put down my response. I took the silence as permission to continue speaking. "Ginny probably won't be there. I don't think pregnant women can Floo or Apparate, just so you know." I said, dipping my quill into the ink, before continuing again. I felt Harry peer over my shoulder.

"Your handwriting is nice." He commented, before going silent, probably reading. "They're asking about me again..."

"Obviously. But you don't need to respond; they're asking me now. They probably know you won't answer them. You might want to consider fixing that before the three of you have a falling-out." I said honestly, but it was true. At this point, everyone knows that The Golden Trio is falling to bits. It's weird to look at, especially from an inside perspective. If I was one of them I would have sent Howlers to Harry by now, expressing my anger at his ignorance. They obviously care about him, and they want him to be okay, but it's difficult when he keeps them as far as possible. It's even more difficult when you realize that he's opened up to me- their sworn enemy for the past eternity- before opening up to them. I finished and rolled up my parchment, tying it to the owl's leg, and letting it go.

I turned to Harry, waiting for... something. But he just stared at me blankly. I stayed there for a while, just waiting. For what, I wasn't sure. I wouldn't admit it out loud, but I may have gotten lost in his eyes, just wishing that- for a second- I could go into his mind and see what he was thinking. But, I'm no legilimens. After a minute or so, I just kind of, walked away, with the simple comment of "I'm going to take a shower."


	2. Chapter 2

—Scorpius POV—

"Happy Birthday Scorpius! Ay, you've gotten so big! I can't believe it!" Exclaimed Maria as she walked through the door. I gave her a great big hug, and she gave me a kiss on the cheek, which I rubbed off, looking at her wide eyed and smiling.

"I'm turning eight today! I'm a big kid!" I told her.

"I heard. Hey, what have you gotten so far for your birthday? " She asked, and I ran to the living room to show her.

"Come look! I got a dancing game, and a sports game, and a game called Mario, and a Mario racing game, and a toy truck, I also got a jigsaw puzzle, and I got this shirt that I'm wearing, and-"

"That's amazing Scorpius," She said, smiling. I smiled back. "Did you know that I can play this game?" said Maria, pointing to the Mario racing game." I looked at her amazed.

"That's so cool! Can we play dada?" I asked him hopefully.

"Okay, but only for a little while. Teddy and Rose will be here soon."

"Okay! Come on Maria!" I took her arm and led her excitedly to the game console. Off to the side, I saw Dada talking with Harry. I grabbed the Mario racing game and put it into the Wii console. I was excited; I'd never played with another person before. I just don't talk to Harry much, and the one time dada tried to play, he got frustrated by 'all the buttons' even though I told him what all the buttons do. That reminds me. I should tell Maria what all the buttons do.

"So, you press this one to go, and you can't let it go. And this one lets go of the special squares, and this one is the letter A, and this button hiding behind the remote" I turned the remote over "That's the back button." I explained. "And you point it at the TV, to move your hand. See?" I showed her the fake hand on the TV, "It's like magic!" At this I noticed dada's eyes widen, and he started making all these crazy hand moves at me. It was confusing. Maria chuckled, repeating what I said to herself, but I was trying to figure out what dada was saying.

"What dada?" I asked him. He suddenly stopped, and pretended he was never doing anything.

"Nothing! Just, have fun playing your game." He said, turning around and taking him and Harry to the room.

"I'll be getting ready, okay? Call me if anything." He said.

"Okay! Come on Maria!"

—Draco POV—

"Okay, I obviously didn't plan this properly, what if Scorpius does accidental magic?" I complained to Harry once we were in the room.

"He probably won't- I mean, his last incident was literally him just getting scared of a snake he saw in the backyard. He'll be fine." Harry said casually.

"Besides, you checked, and the snake was actually a hose." He continued. I sighed.

"And what about Teddy? You told me not to worry about him but it's really quite difficult to do so. He hasn't learned to control his metamorphagus abilities." I asked him, growing a frustrated sort of anxious. How had I not thought about this? Why was I so blind to trust Harry without asking?

"I told you not to worry about it-"

"But why? What happened that now suddenly it's no issue?"

"I promised Teddy I wouldn't tell anyone." He responded. I grew even more frustrated.

"Well, you're about to tell me, or I don't know what I'm going to-"

"Blimey, calm down... Rita Skeeter's been spreading rumors about him. Saying that he's a werewolf. He's been a bit... depressed... about it all. He's being teased and such. Andromeda tries to keep him inside the house because of it." I relaxed a bit.

"What does that have to do with his magic?" I asked, no longer frustrated, only confused.

"When you become depressed or grief-stricken It gets difficult for your metamorphagus ability to show." He explained. I nodded in understanding.

"Andromeda says that he's always playing with his height and his hair and his face. Well, you remember; On the 22 of December when he came over for dinner, he was talking about how he loved making his hair turquoise... According to Andromeda, he hasn't been changing anything for a while." Harry explained. "Get dressed. Don't fuss too much, everything is going to go fine." He told me. I could see the hesitation in his eyes, and I knew he was ignoring that Grange- Hermione and Ron were bound to get here soon. I looked into Harry's eyes, and leaned in to give him a kiss. Just after our lips met, I heard a knock at the door, but I ignored it, wanting this to last. We pulled away after a moment, and he raised his eyebrow at me, probably wanting to continue.

"Oh come on, we have to go. Somebody is at the door." I reasoned.

"You're the one who started it." He said. "One more?"

"Fine." I said. I sounded annoyed, but I was more than glad to give him one more. We heard another knock, followed by the front door opening. Harry and I sprinted over.

Hello? And you are?" asked Maria.

"Hermione, I think this is the wrong house-" Said Ron, who was promptly cut off by Hermione.

"It can't be. They're right there." She said, pointing at us, past Maria. "Hermione Granger, this is my husband Ron, and our daughter Rose. Nice to meet you."

"You too. I'm Maria, Draco's neighbor, I watch Scorpius from time to time. She said, letting them into the house.

"Malfoy leaves his son with a Muggle?" I heard him whisper. I also did not fail to notice Hermione silently scold him for this. I promptly stepped forward to greet them.

"Hello, thank you for coming to Scorpius' birthday. It means a lot to him." I said.

"Please, feel free to enjoy yourselves. It's only a small gathering- You three, Maria, Me and Harry, Scor, and Teddy." I explained.

"Thank you, Draco." Said Hermione. Ron just looked at me, before responding as well. "I guess you really have changed. Thanks." He said simply. Scorpius ran over.

"Rose!"

"Hi Scorpius!" The two of them ran off to play.

"Hey mate," Ron said, going off towards Harry. Hermione stayed in front of me, looking deep in thought.

"Thanks for responding to the questions. I wasn't sure if you would." She said timidly.

"It's no problem." I responded. "If it means anything, I've told Harry to start responding to your Owls. The conversation didn't amount to much, but at least it's in his head now."

"Thanks." She said, before going off to find Harry and Ron. Maria came up to me.

"Would you like me to get my speaker from next door? Or the radio? This party isn't much." I blinked a few times.

"The... radio is fine." I told her, having flashbacks from Christmas eve.

"We aren't making the music loud though." I clarified. She left the house momentarily. I turned to the others.

"She doesn't know about magic." I said. The three turned to me in sync, and Hermione responded.

"I thought that was obvious. Sorry." She said, as if she realized how blunt she was being. Just then, I heard a knock, and was greeted by Andromeda and Teddy. Andromeda was wearing Wizard's robes, which surprised me.

"Did you apparate here?" I asked through the door.

"Yes. So... The Muggle World? I would have never thought to find you here."   
"Yes, very nice. Now... please go before some others in the neighborhood catch on. I've stayed out of trouble and I'd like to keep it that way. I've never dealt with American wizards.

"Fair enough." She said simply. "I'll be back to pick up Teddy by this time tomorrow." She said. "Have fun, Teddy" she said to him tenderly, before disappearing with a pop.

I looked around, concerned for spectators, before ushering Teddy inside.

"How are you?" I asked him.

"I'm good." He said simply. I looked at his downward gaze.

"Scorpius is in the living room with Rose." His eyes lit up, and he looked at me.

"Thanks." I saw the ghost of a smile trying to form on his face, and I gave him a genuine one, before patting him on the shoulder.

"Go ahead. He hasn't stopped talking about you since last time you saw each other."

"Teddy is that you?" I heard Scorpius exclaim in an excited and hopeful manner.

Hi Scorpius!" He said, I saw streaks of his hair involuntarily turn from sandy blond, to turquoise. And while I was glad it meant he was happy, It worried me slightly. As long as he isn't changing anything too dramatically, hopefully, Maria won't notice.


	3. Chapter 3

—Harry POV—

"Hey mate." I saw Ron go towards me.

"Hey, how are you?" I told him, trying to pretend things weren't so tense.

"How've you been?" He asked, deflecting my question. "Be honest."

"I've been good, really. Things are getting a little bit better." I told him. But I wasn't sure if it was entirely true or if I was just avoiding myself.

"How about you, Hermione, and Rose?" I asked, trying to get the topic off of me.

"We're good. It's been a little bit rough with Ginny, but she's staying with mum now." I swallowed thickly. _I can't believe I would forget..._

"Molly... How is she?" I asked, a hint of guilt in my voice.

"She's doing well. She took the news a bit rough if I'm being completely honest. But things are alright. And George is running the joke shop part-time now, so they're open again." He added. Which only made me remember the twins. _How could I just abandon them like I did? Run off with their daughter to another country in the midst of all of this grief, then their daughter comes back pregnant and it's not on purpose._ I was snapped out of my daze by Hermione, who sat down with us.

"Happy birthday Scorpius." She said, "How are you?"

"I'm good. Thanks for coming over with Rose!"

"Of course." She said happily. "Our present for you is on the table for later." She told him.

"Thanks!" He said, turning back to us.

"And what's going on here?" She asked, referring to me.

"Not much." I answered. "I'm just... here." I said honestly.

"And you're doing okay?" She asked.

"Yes. I promise." I answered.

"Good. Well, Ron and I have some news..." We were cut off by Draco's voice,

"She doesn't know about magic." He said. Hermione gave him a puzzled look.

"I thought that was obvious." She said plainly, before continuing with a simple apology. I see she's still the same; I chuckled inwardly.

"Anyway," She said as we faced each other again. "We're going to try for another child." She said, breaking into a smile she could barely contain.

"I'm happy for you." I said, also smiling. "I-is it?"

"No," she said with a small laugh. "Not yet. I'm not pregnant." she said. I nodded in understanding.

"Congratulations." I told them honestly. Soon, we turned to the sound of the front door opening.

"I think that's Teddy." I told them, they nodded together.

————

It's been a few hours, and things have gone by without many issues. Maria had already gone home, and Ron, Hermione, and Draco and I were watching the children play a dancing game on Scorpius' console. I made sure to keep my hand concealed, and brought it over to Draco's, holding it softly. He held back, and at that moment, I thought: _This is okay. I was worried for nothing._ I closed my eyes, focusing on the never-ending in and out of my breath. Feeling it fill my lungs, then leave me.

When I opened my eyes again I noticed the three children were changing the game out for another one, and Teddy thrust an extra Wii remote into my hand.

"Play with us Uncle Harry." I smiled at him softly.

"Alright, but prepare to lose." I said playfully.

"You've never even played!" Said Scorpius. " _I'm_ gonna win." He said proudly. Draco, of course, encouraged his sons bounding confidence.

————

  
—Draco POV—

"Thank you. Goodbye. Yes." I closed the door. The house was finally ours again. Well, ours and Teddy, who was staying the night. I took out my wand, casting a cleaning charm on the house, feeling relief at the newfound cleanliness of it. Finally, I can give Scorpius his final present. I had wanted to wait until after everyone was gone to do so. I reached into a closet, grabbing the present, and walking into his room, where I found him in conversation with Teddy.

"Teddy, do you think you could give us a moment?" He nodded, leaving the room.

"Scor, are you ready to open your last present?" I asked with a smirk. His eyes widened.

"Another one? It's so big!" He shouted in excitement. I chuckled, kneeling down with the box.

"It's very special. We can only use this in certain places." I told him. "But I think you'll like it. I got _my_ first one when I was eight." I told him. He opened up his present, revealing it to be a Firebolt Supreme broomstick, and a broom servicing kit.

"Woah! What's this?" He asked, picking it up.

"Now, be gentle. That's racing broom. You fly on them." He looked at me in astonishment.

"That's awesome! No way! Thank you dada!" He said, putting it down gently and giving me a hug.

"Anytime. Hopefully, we can take you flying soon." I said.

"I can't wait! I want to learn how to fly!"

"Now, Scorpius, it is very important for you to understand that you cannot tell people like Maria about this. You keep this between wizards and witches. Yes?" I said, clarifying once again the importance of keeping this secret.

"Okay." He said, with an irremovable smile.


	4. Chapter 4

—Draco POV—

_ "Mother, Father. I have news." I told them, excited but nervous. _

_ "Yes?" She said, looking up at me. I saw in her eyes the love and care I've received all my life. That's when I knew I could do it. _

_ "I'm going to propose to Astoria." _

_ The room was silent. My parents looked at me with indecipherable expressions. And for a second, I thought I'd made a mistake, until my mom got up and hugged me. I took that as a good sign. The sign of approval I've been craving my whole life. _

_ But in a single moment, it shattered. _

_ "Draco, honey: I love you, and I want you to be happy. But she isn't somebody who can bring you that." _

_ I removed myself from the hug, looking at her with a kicked expression. _

_ "What do you mean? She's everything you could possibly want in a woman and more..." _

_ "I know, love. But she isn't the right person to uphold our family beliefs. You are going to feel lonely. Don't you see? The two of you don't go together. You two believe different things." _

_ "So this is about Blood Supremacy?" I exclaimed in disbelief, backing away from her. She felt alien, as if she didn't raise me with all the love and care in the world. _

_ "Y- She's a pure blooded witch. H-her family... you know them. You approve of them..." I tried to reason. _

_ "She's different from her family, Draco." Said the characteristic stoic uncaring voice of my father. At that moment, it felt like everything had iced over. I grew angry. _

_ "What if I agreed with her _ _?" _ _ I  _ _ asked _ _ sourly. "What if I-" My breath caught. _

_ "Draco..." my father said dangerously. His voice was a cold, warning voice now. I knew that stopping was the best case scenario, but I couldn't find it in me to hold my tongue. _

_ "What if I'm different from you too? What does that make me-" _

_ "I guess," He quipped, "that makes you no longer ours." He stated simply. I saw mother turn around, as if she thought to protest him, but decided otherwise. Still eyeing him with a sort of glum expression. I felt my stomach drop. My father continued to speak. _

_ "You choose a woman who is well underway of becoming a blood traitor. Furthermore, a woman who is sick. A woman who cannot bare a child for you-" _

_ "I don't want a child. I want to be happy." Just then, everything blurred. I was still, when suddenly I was in my room, with Astoria. _

_ "We don't need to have a child." I told her. "I don't need one. I don't care if my name dies with me." I told Astoria, holding her closely, tenderly. _

_ "I don't want to leave you alone when I'm gone, Draco. I want you to have somebody." I closed my eyes, as if that would somehow ease the pain of her words. _

_ "Don't speak like that. You aren't going to die, A-" _

_ "I feel it, Draco. We both know this. Please-" _

I woke with a start, suddenly wanting Harry's comfort. I needed to get my mind off of that dream- off of those memories.

I turned around, so I could hug him. But my heart nearly pounded out of my chest in the realization that I was alone. I looked around, suddenly panicked.

"Harry?" I said, hoping for a response. The room, however, was as still as before. I immediately got out of bed, my heart in my stomach. I opened the bedroom door, finding light trickling out from under the bathroom door.

 _He's just using the toilet._ I repeated to myself over and over, but my hand was on the doorknob, and I turned it. I found Harry sitting on the floor, knees to his chest, and he was rubbing his wrists harshly against his pants, with short breaths, and small rocking movements. I was on the floor by him in a second.

"I'm trying, I'm trying not to do it." He said, completing his phrase with a strangled breath. I sat beside him, gently trying to move his hands away from his pants, but he stiffly kept them in place, before continuing his movements.

"I n-need it. I need the friction to distract me." I knew that it would hurt him. I switched gears, aiming to relax him before anything else.

"Harry. Pay attention to me." I began calmly, softly. I put my hand on his back, with my hand outstretched. "Can you feel my hand?"

He nodded, before making a painful face, rubbing harder. "I need to stop the itch. I can't-"

"It's okay. Listen to me." I said, and I began to tap my finger against his back slowly and rhythmical, like my heart. "Can you feel that?"

"Yes." He said, still focused on his wrists, which were becoming increasingly irritated.

"Count the beats for me." I told him. And when he began counting aloud, I could see he was losing focus from his irritation. Stopping, before realizing it, and starting again, only to stop right after, more focused on counting each time I tapped on his back, until eventually, he stopped.

"I'm sorry." He said, voice breaking.

"Don't. There's nothing to apologize for. It's okay, I'm here." I told him, now rubbing small circles on his back, letting him lean sideways into me. After a few moments, when I knew Harry had completely calmed down, I asked:

"What triggered it?"

"I was thinking about the Weasley's... What I've done to them. I needed to h-" He said, trembling. 

"That's not your fault, Harry. Life happens. You can't blame yourself." I reasoned.

"I killed their son... I broke their daughter, I depressed my best friend."

"You didn't do that, Harry. You got caught up in the mess, that doesn't mean you caused it."

At that point, he cried. But it was painful, and held back. I comforted him.

"You didn't do anything... you don't deserve to cause yourself pain over that, or anything; whether it's your fault or not."

"This is different." He claimed. "This was on my own accord. It _was_ my fault."

"And the twins was on your own accord too?" I asked, knowing the answer was no. Harry didn't answer though. He just cried harder.

"It's okay." I sighed. After a moment, I spoke again: "by your logic; I deserve it too." He looked up at me wide eyed and confused.

"No? Y-you were surviving..."

"Weren't you surviving too? I think you were. It just looked different." I concluded. "That's all."

"I hurt my family. The Weasley's are like family."

"And they understand. And they aren't mad at you. They want you to just be okay. We all do." I said, looking at him tenderly.

"Can I ask you something?"


	5. Chapter 5

—Harry POV—

"Can I ask you something?" I said, trying to regain myself.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think we could just... stay up? And turn on the lamp, and the diffuser? And just... lay there, I guess." I closed my eyes. "God. I know, it's stupid. You have Scorpius, Teddy is here. W-we can't-"

"We can, don't worry. But let's have the light off, so we can fall asleep afterwards. The diffuser has ambient light, so don't worry about darkness." He said. I leaned into him, letting myself rest in his side.

"What did I do to deserve this? You being nice?"

"You never did anything to deserve otherwise. Let's go, I'll turn it on for us. Okay?"

"Alright."

Now we're lying in bed, and the diffuser is releasing the smell of lavender into the air. It was quite nice. I snuggled close to Draco, wanting his comfort.

"Why did you wake up?" I asked him.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you were sleeping like a log when I got up, so something must've woken you." I explained.

"I'd had a dream. I didn't want to think about it. When I woke up, I just reached over to hug you, but you weren't there, so I got up."

"Oh." Was all I could seem to say.

"I'm glad I got up. I got to help you." He said softly.

"What was the dream about?" I found myself asking as I intently studied the ceiling. I heard him take a shaken breath.

"It's not important... it's in the past anyway."

————

"So. Next year you start Hogwarts!" I told Teddy, sitting next to him on the couch. "Are you excited? Which house do you think you'll be sorted into?" I asked, looking to make light conversation with him. I was surprised though to see him just shrug.

"I mean, I guess..." He said, and I noticed he looked like his normal self- a copy of his father. His metamorphagus ability wasn't showing.

"Hey, what's wrong? Aren't you excited to go to school and learn more about magic?"

"Can I tell you the truth?" He asked, casting his gaze downward. I nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"These rumors are everywhere. People look at me like I might kill them. They look at me like I shouldn't be around them... I'll just get that amplified at Hogwarts. More magical children who believe the Prophet... I don't want to go." I looked at him with furrowed concern.

"Teddy, those kids are absolutely crazy to believe baseless and stupid rumors like that-"

"Well they're not exactly baseless, are they?" He snapped. "It's not like my dad wasn't one, it's not like these are kids rumors. They're in the paper..." He said, letting a tear slip. I brought him into a hug, struggling, but successfully picking him up to hold him.

"Teddy... I'm always here for you, okay? Don't let these kids get you down. Think of all the amazing friends you'll have at Hogwarts: Scorpius, Rose..."

"They're all younger than me." He sniffled. "That still leaves a good three years of bullying."

I stopped, knowing he was right. He was truly stuck in the middle- part of a generation of kids he can't spend so much time with.

"You'll see them all the time still. And I'm absolutely sure you'll find good people at school. Also, if the bullying gets too bad you can always go to your Headmaster." I told him. He just hugged me tightly.

"I don't want to keep being bothered by all of them."

"Don't worry. You tell me who they are, and I'll go hurt them for you." I chuckled, but he just looked at me with a face.

"That's mean, don't hurt them." He told me, before returning to his position hugging me.

"The point is," I started. "It doesn't matter what the other kids say. What matters is that you're Teddy. And from my experience, I can tell you that Teddy is the most amazing boy ever." I said, giving him a smile. "Wouldn't you agree?"

He laughed at that, and I saw a small smile on his lips.

"Don't let them bring you down, Ted. They don't know what they're missing out on when they decide to pick on you."


	6. Chapter 6

—Draco POV—

I was browsing the local bookstore, looking at novels, biographies, historical works, and more, when I realized I'd had the urge to use the restroom.

"Hey, Harry." Harry, who was looking at a book beside me turned his attention to me.

"Stay with Scorpius, I need the restroom." I told him. He said "Alright" as I went off in search of the lavatory. I looked up, scanning for a sign, when something peculiar caught my ear. I turned the corner of a shelf, listening intently.

"What's your Hogwarts house?" I froze at these words. What on earth are the chances that two Hogwarts students from Wizarding Britain are here? It was difficult to believe. What's more difficult to believe was their American accents. I mean, It wasn't impossible to have an American at Hogwarts. The only requirement it that you are a resident of Great Britain... So I guess, if their parents are American, then...

"Hufflepuff." _Figures._ I thought to myself.

"Really? I'm a Ravenclaw." I leaned in, to make sure I was hearing things correctly.

"What? No way! Oh, my, God. Wait, what's your favorite-"

I would have kept listening, but I really did need the restroom, so I walked past them speedily, making a straight shot to the restroom, and I noticed one of the two girls look up at me and gasp. 

————

We left the book store with 5 new books for me, and 2 books for Scorpius. I asked Harry if he was interested in anything, but he simply said 'You can just tell me what happens in your books'.

I was now driving down the street to go back home, my mind preoccupied by those two girls. _They can't have been older than 17._ S _o I did not go to school with them. They must have joined a year or two after the war. And what could they possibly be doing in America now? They either recently graduated, or they are at the end of winter holiday ._ I tried to remember: _When did Winter term used to end? This would have to be the last week of Holiday break. What other reason would there be for me to hear what I heard? I know it wasn't a trick of the ear-_

"Draco!" I was forced from my thoughts at the sound of a car horn blaring. It was seconds from colliding with us. Harry held out a hand and screamed 'Arresto Momentum', but I violently swerved out of the way before we could crash. I stopped the car, putting it in park. I looked to the back seat.

"Scorpius are you okay?" He nodded, breathing heavily as Harry and I were. I turned to Harry, who was frozen in a position with his legs half up, and I noticed that I was gripping the wheel tightly. I looked out the left window, and slightly behind us I noticed a red racing car, turned on, stopped in the middle of the street. I took an enormous sigh of relief, muttering a 'finite' so the car could go again before the driver could get suspicious. I closed my eyes in hearing the driver turn off the car, before turning it back on and driving away with a loud roar and squeal from the tires. I swallowed to calm myself down, looking at Harry, who was sitting normally again, looking off in a daze, and Scorpius, who just sat quietly.

"Everybody is alright? Nobody got hurt?" I said, looking around, Scorpius and Harry shook their heads. "Good. Good." I said, In a slight daze.

"I-I'm going to apparate home."

"Harry, wai-" I couldn't reach him in time, and he disappeared with a pop. I looked around, making sure no one saw that. Thankfully, we were in an empty neighborhood. I looked to the road, swallowing. I moved my hand to the gear, and put it in drive, before cautiously making my way home.

—Harry POV—

We were driving home, and Draco was being unusually quiet, looking straight at the road with no expression. I looked ahead of us and saw a red car speeding towards us in the distance. I pointed it out, "Draco, That car is going a bit fast, and they're against traffic..." The car was starting to get closer. "Draco?" The car got closer and Draco didn't react, I felt adrenaline kick in. "Draco!" The cars horn blared. In an instant I held out my right hand, my body trying to get away from the oncoming impact, and screamed 'Arresto Momentum'. The car in front of us stopped, and Draco violently swerved out of the way before we could crash. He stopped our car, putting it in park. I was frozen in shock, still in my awkward half curled-up position where one leg was up on the seat and my right arm was pressed against the passenger door. My left hand slowly came down from it's position.

"Scorpius, are you okay?" I heard Draco ask, looking to the back seat. I noticed we were all breathing quite heavily from what had just happened. Draco never let go of the wheel. I heard him cast a counter-spell at the other vehicle, but I was just too frozen to react, my mind was fogged up and muffled, anxiety over the situation making my stomach curl. I was hit with a tremendous wave of nausea, and moved to try and sit normally again, hoping it would go away, but my breathing hadn't calmed down, it had only become more quiet. I acknowledged the loud roar the other cars engine as it left. I swallowed, looking out to the street, my head had a numbing pain surfacing, and the nausea only got worse as I replayed the recent event in my mind, thinking of how easily it could have ended differently.

"Everybody is alright? Nobody got hurt?" Said Draco, I shook my head, feeling myself become light headed.

"I-I'm going to apparate home."

"Harry, wai-" I vanished, getting sucked through to the house.

I appeared in the bathroom at Draco's house and promptly leaned over the toilet, throwing up. I looked down at the contents I spilled, catching my breath. _That's how long it takes for people to die. Less than a second._

I can't believe what happened. I gagged again, spilling more. I kneeled, resting my head on the toilet. _I need the anxiety to subside. It's over._ I told myself.

I got up when my stomach settled, flushing the toilet. The smell almost made me feel sick again. I opened the door to let it escape, and turned on the purge vent in the bathroom. I turned on the faucet, rinsing my mouth out to get rid of the feeling. _It's okay. Nothing ended up happening._ I told myself, trying to calm down. _Nobody got hurt, nobody got in trouble. Everybody is safe._ I heard the front door open, and I knew it was them. I put my head down to rest against the sink, and turned off the purge fan because the sound was not helping me relax.

"Are you okay?" I nodded my head, lifting it from the edge of the sink and turning it off.

"I just got sick. I- What on earth happened to you back there? I had called your name like 3 times before you reacted. Are you okay?" I asked, looking at him curious and concerned.

"I was just thinking about... something I overheard at the book store. It was nothing important."

"Was it something that worried you?" I asked, desperate to know why he zoned out, almost causing a crash. He didn't speak, almost as if He was wondering if he should tell me.

"Well? Draco? What was it that got you like that?"


	7. Chapter 7

—Draco POV—

"I was just thinking about... something I overheard at the book store. It was nothing important." I told him.

"Was it something that worried you?" He pleaded. I stood there, wondering if it was the best idea to tell Harry what I heard. The last thing anyone needs is for his progress to go backwards.

"Well? Draco? What was it that got you like that?"

"I can't tell you." I said simply. He squinted in confusion.

"Why not? It was just a stupid book store conversation. How bad can that have been?"

"I don't want to trigger your anxiety." I explained, slightly wanting him to shove off.

"Well you're not doing a very good job of it!" He exclaimed, getting into some sort of rushed shaky anger.

"If you're saying it's something that can trigger me then what is it? Huh? Is Voldemort back? Are you a death eater again? Hm? Are we all going to get attacked and die-"

"There are witches living here!" I said, fed up, anger bubbling. Harry went quiet. "I overheard two witches talking about Hogwarts..."

"Are you sure-"

"I-I don't know... there's no other explanation for what I heard, they were asking about each other's houses, and-" I stopped to catch my breath. "Things were, weird. They had American accents and any wizard with half a brain wouldn't mention something like that in public in the Muggle world... but what else could it be?" I asked, breathless from my rambling.

"Th-that means... we're not really gone from all of that..." he asked, and I could tell he was beginning to overthink.

"But hey, they're just stupid students. Nothing bad can happen to us-"

"How do you know that?" He asked, looking me in the eyes and stepping back. "How do you know they aren't spies, or, or-"

"Harry." I started; taking his hands. "They're just kids that are probably on holiday with their families. They probably have no idea that you or I are even in this country." I reasoned softly.

"The press would go to lengths you don't understand just to follow me around. Especially Skeeter... What if she's using Polyjuice to look like a student? Think about it. What's the likelihood that there are others here. In _this_ state, in _this_ country, at _that_ bookstore? There has to be something more... There has too..."

"Maybe it was a coincidence. After all, you and I ended up living nothing more than a half-hour drive away from each other, and that was probably the best coincidence I've ever experienced." I said, letting out a small laugh at that. _Us being here today was all thanks to nothing more than a coincidence._

"I guess you're right." He said, looking down. Then, he let out a sort of half-hearted chuckle. "And to think: I moved here to hide from the Wizarding World." I laughed too, giving him a hug.

"You can't hide from me." I whispered into his ear with a smirk. "I'm everywhere."

————

"Should I owl Hermione? Just to make sure?" He asked me later that night. "Just to see if there's anything she knows? Because she's working in the ministry now..."

"You could. But I really don't think it's anything bad." I told him casually. The truth is, I was concerned. There were just too many 'what-ifs' for the story I was concocting in my head to add up. "I'm sure she'll tell you that there's nothing to it." I added, turning the page of my new book while he flipped through the channels on the television.

I looked over to him, noticing that he had stopped worrying about the TV channel. His face was scrunched up, and he was absentmindedly rubbing his wrist, and chewing on his lip. That was something new- I noticed.

"Can I use your owl?" He asked, looking towards me. I silently studied his body. He was sitting with his feet on the couch so his knees were by his chest. He was definitely anxious, even if he wasn't having an attack at the moment, even if he may have not realized it.

"Sure." I told him, watching as he quickly got up and towards the room where I kept my owl, along with parchment and quills. I was internally debating whether or not I should stay with him, but ultimately decided I would stay here, with Scorpius, ready if anything were to go wrong. 

————

—Harry POV—

_ Hermione, _

_ Today at the book store, Draco overheard two girls talking about Hogwarts. _

I stared at the barely written letter. Thinking about how stupid and paranoid I must sound. I'm not even the one who overheard the conversation. What am I going to tell her? _I think Rita Skeeter is following me with Polyjuice even though using her Animagus- which is so much more convenient- is what she does. I think that I'm being followed by other Wizards and Witches that I think are here in America with me._ It sounds stupid. I crumpled up the parchment, tossing it to the side with the other lost attempts, and put my head in my hands. _This is why I don't write to anyone anymore._ I thought stubbornly.

"Have you sent it?" I looked up and saw Draco walking through the door.

"You've been here for an hour." He commented. I just sighed, frustrated, getting up from the seat.

"I'm not going to send it. It just makes me sound like a paranoid idiot." I told him. He looked around at the floor and the few crumpled drafts of my letter, then back up at me. He had that thoughtful look on his face again. I shoved past him, going to the bedroom and laying down numbly.

"Hey, what was that for?" He said, annoyed. I just looked at him.

"I'm feeling tired. Go ahead and eat dinner with Scorpius. I'm going to get an early night." I told him monotonously.

"You need to eat dinner." He told me with a definite tone.

"I'm not hungry."

"Bullshite. You never finish your plate of food. The least you can do is eat at every meal." He protested. I shot out of bed, walking up to him.

"I'm not hungry." I told him sternly, before calming down a bit. "Leave me for the night, please."

"Is this because of what I heard? Is it because of the letter? The crash?"

"It's nothing." I snapped, turning back around. Then I resumed my tired state: "I'm just tired." Things were silent, and I took that as him being gone, so I crawled back into the bed.

"I'll be back when it's time for bed." He said, eyeing my state. I guess he hadn't left the room. "Talk to me when you're ready."

————

  
—Draco POV—

I hated not knowing what exactly was wrong with Harry, and how it is that he shuts down so quickly. I walked to my room after tucking Scorpius in, my mind searching and scanning for answers regarding Harry. I opened the door, noticing that he was awake, staring blankly at the wall. I made my way to my dresser, putting on pajamas before getting in bed next to him.

"Harry, please talk to me." I said, bringing my arms around his waist. He didn't respond, and after a second I spoke again.

"What is it that's bothering you? You can tell me." Things were quiet, and I was almost sure he wasn't going to answer, but he did. It was a whisper- cracked and strained.

"I think I'm getting bad again."

I'm not lying when I say I didn't know what to tell him. All I know is that I can't let it get as bad as it was last time. I held him closely.

"Let me help. Don't push me away." I whispered in a caring tone. I noticed him close his eyes tightly, opening them a second later, taking his sweet time to respond. I moved my hand to his head, caressing his messy hair, and I heard him take a deep breath.

"It's overwhelming..." He whispered. I hugged him tightly.

"I know. Don't worry though. I'm here from the beginning, so I can help. You just have to let me. Okay?"

"It's so much."

"I know it is. But that's okay." I said softly.


	8. Chapter 8

—Harry POV—

I heard when Draco woke up, asking why I was awake and sitting with my head hung over at the side of the bed, but I didn't answer him, my mind was racing, leg bouncing rapidly. _What if Skeeter is actually disguising herself to follow me around? What if I'm not safe here? Who knows how far the rumors have spread by now. How much has she seen? How much does she know?_

"Harry?" A touch of on the shoulder made me jump back and stand up, facing Draco, who stood nothing short of 2 feet away from me.

"What if what you heard is a real problem? What if we're ignoring a really big, serious problem?" I told him, looking down, playing with my fingers anxiously.

"What if we're in danger? What if they know we're... us! What if everyone in the Wizarding world knows? How long will it be until I'm constantly being swarmed by reporters, o-or-"

"Harry, It's alright. Look at me." He said calmly, moving towards me. My head started to pound and I wanted to move, I needed to expel the energy. I pushed him away from me, walking out the bedroom door and ignoring the half-asleep look of anger on his face. I started to the living room, crouching down, and getting up again. I brought my hands to my head, annoyed by the pain in it, and ignoring the itch I could feel crawling up my arms, causing a shiver to go down my spine.

"Harry-"

"Stop. I, I'm... I-" I didn't finish because any thought I had, left me; and I found myself not knowing how to describe what was happening to me. All I know is that it's painfully familiar, and I hate it. I made my way to the floor, taking short shallow breaths.

—Draco POV—

"Hey, listen. Listen to my voice, Harry. We're safe. Nothing is going to happen to you."

I got down next to him, making sure he didn't push me again, and when I realized that he wasn't going to move much, I brought an arm around him, pulling him to my chest.

"Just listen, match my heartbeat. Follow my breathing." I said, proceeding to take deep, slow breaths for Harry to mimic. He closed his eyes, pressing further into me, holding his left wrist close to his chest and squeezing. I encased it, trying softly to get him to stop, knowing that if I left it unchecked it would develop into scratching.

Things were silent for a long while, and we just stayed in that position on the floor while he calmed down slowly. I was thinking about what he'd said, and his comments were what determined me to write my own letter to Hermione, explaining today's events, and asking her if she knows anything. Every once in a while, Harry would twitch, and try to press himself further into me, muttering words I wish I heard properly. I would just keep him in my arms, letting him take the time he needed, occasionally passing my hand through his hair, silently saying simple, calming words. Eventually, I heard a sniffle come from him.

"Let's go back to bed, yeah?" I suggested gently, feeling quite tired. After all, it's still the middle of the night, and if anything, Harry needs the sleep more than I do. He nodded numbly, and I got us both up from the living room floor. Harry stayed leaning into me, seeming exhausted. I wasn't surprised by it at all.

Getting to the room, Harry silently curled up into the bed, pulling the covers over himself. He looked shaken and distant. I decided to turn on the diffuser before getting in bed again, not before noticing he took a large breath, inhaling the smell of eucalyptus.

I resided in the spot next to Harry, wrapping my arms around him from behind and bringing him closer to me. I felt his arm twitch, and I decided to break the silence between us.

"Everything is perfectly fine. We're here together, and nothing is going to get us."

————

—Harry POV—

I had woken up again, and didn't bother checking the time, just trying to go back to sleep. I turned around to wriggle out of Draco's embrace, because as safe as I felt with him, I was uncomfortably sweaty. Time passed, and I didn't realize it was morning until I felt a warm, yellow beam of light from the window hit me.

Eventually, I ended up staring at Draco's arm. It was just the first thing in my line of sight and I didn't want to move, feeling numb.

I noticed the faded mark, it was almost unrecognizable, and if I didn't know better, I'd have thought it was only a few scars. The curious thing was seeing scars that branched a little ways from where the mark used to be, scars that looked different from those of the faded mark. Those different scars were also on the mark, and if I wasn't so tired, I'd answer my curiosity telling me to feel the map of lines on Draco's arm.

 _Why hadn't I asked about it earlier?_ It's not that I never noticed, it's that I ignored it. I figured it would give him peace of mind. But now, spending what felt like an eternity memorizing the way his skin would raise and stretch into the small bumps, how the lines were just ever so slightly darker than the rest of his pale skin, I found myself wanting to ask.

After a few more moments of me just visually going back and forth, up and down a particularly long scar in that area, his arm moved, Draco stirred, waking up. He promptly brought me into a hug, placing a small kiss on my temple.

"Good morning. How are you?" He asked sleepily. My mind was ready to answer honestly: That I feel a bit lost, and I think I'm disconnecting from reality. But instead of answering, my mouth decided not to move. The only indication that he had of me listening, was that exhaled more loudly than usual, drawling it out as if that was my answer- that the words just hadn't gotten to be pronounced. I closed my eyes, mentally leaning into Draco's touch. Physically though, I didn't move.

"Are you alright?" He asked, slightly more awake and concerned.

"How did your mark get like that?"


	9. Chapter 9

—Harry POV—

"How did your mark get like that?"

As soon as the words left my mouth, I had a lingering feeling that I shouldn't have asked, but I didn't follow my question, leaving me and Draco in a silence that was odd in nature. Neither of us could say anything, but something _had_ to be said.

"...What?" He asked cautiously.

"Your- on your... left arm." I clarified. He moved it so we could both see it, seemingly studying it for a second- probably more than a second. He was hesitant, and I couldn't help but want to swallow my previously said words.

"It turned that way shortly after he died." He stated, with a hint of something in his voice. Something I couldn't quite place.

"It stung, like it used to when h-" his voice faltered, before he quickly regained himself. "like it used to... when he used to summon us... and when I looked at it, the mark shriveled into this bundle of scars." He explained.

"Some of them look different." I commented curiously. "They look like mine." I specified. My arm went up next to Draco's. I placed them side by side. Most of his scars were more thick, more lasting. Mine were thin, needle-like lines, scabbing over, and eventually fading unless I slowed the healing process by picking at them, making myself bleed through an old injury. Another difference: mine were everywhere, residing in chaotic positions with little-to-no structure. His seemed to vaguely outline the dark mark. I noticed those scars of ours that looked the same. His were incredibly faint though. They were merely lines of discoloration. I had very few that way: old and mostly healed.

There was a bit of an unsettled silence in the air, floating around our noses as I silently compared and contrasted our scars, waiting for and answer that I was beginning to think possibly wasn't coming.

"That's because we got them the same way." He said, making me snap out of my little universe.

"The same? ..." I muttered, trying to think what about that meant. I don't know why it took so long to realize what he was saying, maybe denial, or just leftover tiredness, but I figured it out, staying silent at the revelation as my heart dropped to my stomach, only looking at him, then back at his arm.

"It was a long time ago though." He reassured. "Astoria helped me with it a lot, and I haven't done it since Scorpius was born." He shrugged.

I didn't realize that my fingers had gone to hover over Draco's arm, not until I heard him mutter "You can touch it."

I ran along it, just barely brushing against his skin as I felt each centimeter that passed my fingertips- feeling the rise and fall of those scars where the mark used to be. I grabbed his arm softly, but he eased himself from my grip, turning to grab my arm instead, rubbing his thumb back and forth along the lines on my arm in a soothing way.

"I know what it's like- to think that hurting yourself will get rid of whatever you're feeling... I also know it doesn't help- not in the long run." He whispered softly.

I looked at him, and the only thing that was coming through my mind was that I really, really wanted a hug. A proper one. I softly nudged him, signaling that I wanted him to move. At first he moved over a tad, but I kept nudging him.

"What?" He said, probably slightly annoyed, and definitely confused by my actions.

"I want you to get up." I mumbled tiredly.

"What for?" He questioned with an expression that showed it.

"Please." I said, my lips barely moving to form the words. Draco got up, with arguably the most puzzled look on his face, and I followed right on his tail, walking up to him and wrapping my arms around him tightly, resting my head into the crook of his neck. He returned it, relaxing into the embrace I'd initiated, all possible bother and befuddlement leaving his expression. We stayed that way, and I quickly discovered that I wanted to stay this way forever. Resting my eyes, I let out a tired exhale.

"Are you okay?" He whispered. I gave him a nod, squeezing tighter and letting my body rest against his.

"I like being with you like this." I quietly said after a moment. "Things are calm when we're like this." I let the already hushed volume of my voice fall considerably to say the next part. "I get to ignore my problems like this."

I felt his hand brush my hair back, followed by his lips tenderly pressing against my head. I moved to return it with my own lips on his, closing my eyes and letting us just float within the slow, warm moment. When we stopped, our foreheads resting against each other's, I resisted the urge to say three simple words. Three simple words that filled me with anxiety, so I reached for Draco's hand, holding it in my own, and squeezing it. I lifted his hand to my face, allowing myself to press a small peck on his knuckles. He returned the gesture, before giving me another kiss on the forehead.

 _I love you._ I thought, but kept it to myself, not wanting to worry about how many ways saying that could go wrong.

"Thank you for being with me." I said, barely audible. He squeezed me slightly tighter. I could only describe myself as feeling nothing else in the world- nothing but us.

"Harry, maybe you should hop into the shower." I let go of the hug, unbelieving.

"And now is when you tell me?" I said with an amused tone.

"Well I quite like hugging you, and it's not like you smell, I just think it can help a bit, you'll feel refreshed." I rolled my eyes.

"You're unbelievable sometimes."

"I'm not wrong," he countered. I let out a small laugh.

"Can we hug one more time first?" I asked, hopeful. He nodded with an "of course," and I was welcomed into his arms once again.

"Thanks for everything, really."


	10. Chapter 10

—Draco POV—

Curious, wondering what that burning smell was, I made my way down the hallway from my room to the rest of the house. Today had quite the unconventional start. Harry seemed to have had started his day before me, and at a reasonable time. I couldn't help but notice that things felt different, and I felt like I was almost forgetting something. I turned the corner to enter the kitchen, where I saw Harry standing with his back towards me doing something.

"Do you smell that burning?" I asked, walking towards him, I immediately noticed the bacon on the pan that was just beginning to overcook.

"Potter, the bacon!" I said, taking the pan off the stove and going towards the sink.

"I'm so sorry." He said, becoming aware of the situation. "I got distracted watching the bread so that _it_ doesn't burn." I let out a chuckle, smiling slightly.

"It's fine. I didn't know you could cook?" I commented, glancing towards the done potatoes and the cut up fruits.

"There's a lot you don't know about me." He replied, mirroring my expression.

"Of course, you're the sodding golden boy. What can't you do?"

"Apparently I can't cook bacon." He said with a smirk lining his features. I took the bacon out of the pan, putting it on a plate with napkins to get rid of the fatty liquid around it.

"You did just fine, I just have a more sensitive sense of smell than most people. Besides, Scorpius likes it more crispy." I responded. "Remember the bread." I told him while grabbing three plates.

"Oh, the bread, yes." He responded, promptly taking care of that. Just then, I was hit with a question in my mind.

"You woke up early, and you made breakfast? What's so special about today?" I asked, glancing towards him as he struggled to not burn his fingers with the bread. He turned to me, placing the bread on a plate then placing that plate on the table along with the fruit and potatoes.

"Happy Valentine's Day." He said. I couldn't get the giddy smile off my face.

"So you woke up for me?" I said, my smile morphing to a smirk.

"Maybe." He said. I put the bacon in its place before going towards him with a hug; he reciprocated it before granting me a kiss.

"I'm going to wake Scorpius, okay?" He nodded in acknowledgement.

————

"Dada! Look! It's snow!"

Harry and I both looked up and out the window at Scorpius' comment, and I saw small flecks of white powder falling from the sky, onto the not-yet snow covered ground. I put my book down, getting up from the table where I had a cup of tea beside me.

"Well? Go on, let's get your snow clothes on and play outside." I told Scorpius with a smile. His eyes widened tremendously before racing down the hall and to his room. Before following him, I turned to Harry, who was lazily sprawled across the couch, tossing a bean bag up and catching it, before tossing it up again. I went up to his head, which was hanging off the arm of the couch, and ran my hands through his falling hair, crouching down to be closer to his face.

"You ate only half of your plate." I commented, feeling my fingers thread through his soft hair.

"Yeah, I just wasn't too hungry, but you know I'm a light eater." He replied. It was then that I realized he's absolutely right, having never eaten an entire plate of food, but never exactly missing meals either. I shrugged it off.

"What are you thinking of?" I asked. Just then, my finger got stuck in a knot in his hair, and my attention turned to fixing it.

"Did you ever realize this part of your ceiling is darker than the rest?" He commented. I looked up, inspecting my white ceiling.

"Those are just shadows." I said, returning my attention to his horridly unruly hair. "Would you let me fix your hair?"

"Are you crazy? This is unfixable. Even with my, what? Great grandpa's hair gel?"

"Excuse me, but Sleekeazy's hair potion is _not_ a hair gel, it makes hair more manageable."

"Not mine." He mumbled, continuing to toss the bean bag up and down. "Besides, it could be used as a hair gel. It even made Hermione's bushy mane manageable."

"And what's so different between your hair and Hermione's hair?" I asked. "Her head is even more unruly than yours-"

"I'm telling you, it has a mind of its own, but go ahead, give it a shot. I dare you."

"Oh, you're on, Potter." I smirked, leaning into give him an upside down kiss. He broke it, turning around and sitting up, before giving me another one.

"Dada!" I looked up, hearing my son call me from his room.

"Oh dear, let me go see the mess he's made." I said, leaving Harry to continue playing with the bean bag. Halfway down the hallway though, I stopped, turning around and going back to Harry.

"Hey, would you like to go out tonight?" He caught the beanbag, looking at me. It was silent for a second, and I heard another call from Scorpius.

"Think about it. Let me know." I told Harry, finally going to Scorpius's room, only to see him with a turtleneck jumper stuck around his head.

"I'm here Scor, let me help you." I said, casually kneeling down to fix his crooked clothing.

————

I opened the door, feeling the cool breeze of the snowy day touch my face. Scorpius, however, did not show the same wish to bask in the cold weather; he ran straight ahead and started playing with the snow. I heard Harry chuckle in earnest, a warm smile painted on his features. I smiled back, loving when he looks happy. My thoughts, however, were rudely interrupted by a snowball that hit me in the gut. I looked towards the direction it came from, finding Scorpius clutched over in uncontrollable laughter, before landing face first in the snow, still giggling madly.

"Oh no you don't." I started, going bending down to make a snow ball of my own. As soon as he stood back up, I threw a snow ball that landed on his shoulder, which caused Scorpius to fall back dramatically. I was so immersed in my battle that I was caught off guard by a snowball hitting me in the back, I turned around, casting an evil glare towards Harry, who was quickly working to make a new one. We ended up throwing our snowballs together, causing them to collide halfway through. Meanwhile, Scorpius jumped up on top of me, toppling me to the ground. I groaned, struggling to get free while making sure to stay gentle. As soon as I did, I turned over, trapping him in the floor.

"Don't move." I said with a smile, beginning to pile snow on top of him. Harry soon got next to me, joining me in my quest, but Scorpius freed himself, flinging snow into both of our faces, which caused all of us to erupt in laughter.

"Can we make a snowman?" Asked Harry after the laughter subsided, I looked at him, then at Scorpius, nose and cheeks tinted red, a wide smile across his face.

"Sure, why not?"

————

"Alright Scorpius, I made sure the shower was warm for you, and I put warming charms in your bathroom. Please take off you layers now?" I said, looking at my son, ridiculously wearing 3 layers inside the house, telling me he still felt cold from playing outside most of the day.

"Can you help me get out of the shirt? I can't" he proceeded to, quite pathetically, fiddle with the shirt, trying to pull it off.

"Alright alright, let's go." I said, a tiny laugh fighting to escape myself. We got into the bathroom, and I peeled his first two long sleeve shirts off, before getting to the last shirt. When I went to take the last one off through, he squeaked, jumping away from me.

"What?" I asked, staring at him confused.

"Your hands are freezing dada!" He whined,

"Alright then you take it off, let's go, this will be your practice."

"But I can't." He complained, I shook my head.

"Try."

After a minute of worming his way through the tight green shirt, he finally got it off, slinging it across the bathroom. I reached over to my left, catching it before it could touch the floor, and began to leave the bathroom.

"Don't take too long." I reminded him, closing the door behind me.

I silently laughed, thinking about Scorpius, before going to my room, where Harry was frustratedly rummaging through the closet. I walked over to him in confusion.

"Hey, hey." I started, taking his arms gently. "What a-"

"I-I can't find anything to wear." He said with an agitated tone. I held back a mocking smirk from how stupid this was. My expression softened though when I realized his distress.

"Relax, I'll find you something. Hey." I said, calmly getting his attention, I noticed he was slightly trembling. He looked up at me.

"What's _really_ got you this way?" I asked. "Breathe." I reminded him.

"I- I'm fine. I'm... fine. I just need to calm down. I..." he took a deep breath. After a second of thinking, I realized this was over going out.

"You know that if you don't want to, we don't have to go out, we could just do something else another day." I reasoned calmly.

"No, it's fine." He stated more calmly now. "It's just... nothing." He shook his head, as if to ignore whatever was on his mind.

"Are you sure?" I questioned, moving my head to look into his eyes.

"Yeah." He smiled. "Besides, last time... last time we went for dinner things were great... I have nothing to worry about." He sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than me.

"Take a warm bath to help you relax, yeah? I'll have a set of clothing out for you when you finish." I glanced towards the untidy closet of shirts, pants, robes, and shoes. He nodded, taking another breath, before giving a weak smile. I returned it with a kiss. A kiss which he made deeper, causing neither of us to want to let go. I couldn't help but acknowledge by heart quickening every time we kissed.

"Go and relax, okay? I'll be here reading. Call me if anything." I reassured him.


	11. Chapter 11

—Harry POV—

We were sitting at the table of a restaurant in City Walk. I was laughing, which made Draco laugh at me. He'd made a horribly crude joke, and I felt bad for laughing, but it was just hilarious, I was beginning to go red from laughing so much, which made Draco laugh more, allowing a small snort to escape. We both stopped abruptly, he was covering his mouth, looking at me in disbelief. After a few seconds, I burst out in laughter.

"Oh shut it." He said with a smile and tinted cheeks. "It's embarrassing." He added.

"I don't think I've ever seen you _so_ genuinely laugh that you end up-" I got whacked in the arm by a menu, I retreated, looking at a thoroughly flushed Draco.

"Stop!" He emphasized, looking around to make sure others weren't looking, still with a smile on his face.

"Okay, okay! I'll stop teasing... but tell me, do you _ever_ really laugh like that?"

"Oh, bugger off." He told me, dismissing my question. We had both calmed down now, and just in time too, our server had arrived with our food.

"They really do serve a lot of food here in America." I commented, taking my first bite of food. My periphery acknowledged Draco's nodding in agreement.

"Better for us though, we won't have to make food for lunch tomorrow... maybe even dinner." He commented before taking a bite of his own food. Things were silent from us, we were both just eating for a small bit before Draco asked me something.

"Did you ever take the opportunity to transfer into the year below us to finish at... school?" He piped up. I raised my eyebrow at him, seeing how he almost mentioned Hogwarts in public.

"No. I didn't want to go back there." I stated plainly and truthfully. "What about you?"

"If I ever had to step foot in that castle again I would have pitched myself off the astronomy tower." He finished with a bitter laugh, but I just stared at him, bewildered. He looked up at me before speaking again.

"What? It's not like I did it. Besides, you can't blame me. After everything that happened? Anyone could think that." He reasoned. I analyzed his nonchalant face, before figuring that he was right. After all, I'd just said the same thing more vaguely.

"Can I taste what you ordered?" He asked.

"Only if I can taste yours." I responded. And without another word we reached our forks over to the plate across from us, grabbing a small bite of the other's food.

"I like mine better." He stated. I rolled my eyes.

"Well I like _mine_ better." I said challengingly.

"Sure you do." He replied, making me scoff. I rolled my eyes, ignoring the smile that had made its way to my face.

At the end of our meal, something rather odd had happened, our server asked if we could take a picture with her for her son, claiming we both looked two actors from some movies he enjoys. I looked over at Draco, who's face showed confusion. But, we agreed after clarifying that no, my name is not Daniel, and no, Draco's name is not Tom. Of course, we didn't find it necessary to tell the server our real names.

On the way home Draco brought it up, claiming "what a peculiar encounter." I couldn't help but agree. Soon enough though, we had forgotten all about it, laughing and talking like usual, until we got home, picked up Scorpius from Maria's house, and put him to bed. After that, we got to doing our own things- things that require us to put silencing charms around the room, things we can only do when Scorpius is fast asleep.

Overall, I'd say it was an amazing Valentine's Day. I'm glad I spent it the way I did. I don't think I've had a proper Valentine's since a couple of years after coming to America.

————

—Draco POV—

I woke up the next morning to the sound of Scorpius tiredly calling for me, which was unusual. He always comes and finds me whenever he wants me. I wormed my way out of Harry's embrace, leaving him sleeping on the bed, and made my way over to my son's bedroom, where I saw him laying in bed looking absolutely dreadful.

"Good morning. What's wrong?" I started, going over to sit at his bedside.

"I don't feel good." He whimpered. A closer look at him allowed me to notice he looked rather pale, well, more pale than usual, and a bit green. His hair was a mess, and a quick touch to the forehead told me he had a fever.

"It seems you've gotten a bit sick, Scor. Don't worry though, a simple potion should cure you right up." As soon as I finished saying that, Scorpius began to give a hearty, congested cough, and I sat him up, rubbing small circles on his back.

"Stay in bed and rest, okay? I need to find you some Pepperup Potion." I told him, preparing to leave. Scorpius weakly tugged the sleeve of my shirt, calling my attention.

"Will it hurt?"

"No, it won't." I said, deciding to leave the part about steam coming from his ears out until after he took it. There's no need for him to be scared and make taking the potion more difficult. After all, it doesn't have the most pleasant taste.

"Call for me if you need anything. I'm going to see about that potion. Okay?"

"Okay dada."

I left the room when the thought came to me: _How on earth am I going to gain access to a Pepperup Potion, or the materials to brew one, in the Muggle world?_ I paced back and forth in the hall. _Think, think._ My basement. I brought things with me from the Wizarding World. I must have some Pepperup in there. I _have_ to.

I went to my room, grabbing my wand silently, and then came down the hall, kneeling down onto the floor. I used my hands to perform wordless magic, and surely, a trapdoor made itself appear beneath me. I opened it up, climbing down the ladder into my basement.

"Lumos Maxima" I whispered. The entire room lit up, revealing my, now dusty, collection of dark artifacts. I had begun collecting them because the art of them was intriguing, and some of these I could study all day. Others of these were the last of it's kind, and having them meant a great deal to me, such as the last remaining time turner, made for my father by none other that Theodore Nott. I never touch them. I don't want to go down that path again. But admiration was definitely a hobby. Watching every curve of an intricately crafted item was soothing.

I found the shelf where I had a simple cauldron, some bottled and labeled potion ingredients, and vials of many simple potions- Calming Draughts, Antidotes to common poisons, Bruise removal paste, Burn healing potions, cough potions, and Pepperup Potion. Of course, it was all organized alphabetically, with the spot for dreamless sleep potions empty, as I had taken my fair share of those back when I first moved. Looking at my ingredients, I realized I was low on everything. _I really hadn't been here in at least a year._ I snapped out of my daze, grabbing a vile of what Scorpius needed. I popped the cork open, smelling it to make sure it was still safe to drink, and after ensuring that it was, I sealed it, making the room dark once again, and going back up to the main house.

"Alright now, it will taste bitter, so you know. Ready?" I said, holding the open vial close to Scorpius's mouth. He nodded.

"I tip the bottle back in three. One, two, three." He quickly downed it before making a disgusted face. I closed the vial, setting it aside.

"You should start to feel better in a few minutes, and don't be alarmed if steam starts coming out of your ears." He looked at me in sudden unease.

"Don't worry, you'll barely feel it, you just might feel a bit more on the warm side." I said plainly. I tucked him in, making sure he was comfortable, and making sure he had a full glass of water.

"I'm going to go make breakfast. Call me if anything."


	12. Chapter 12

—Harry POV—

It was a bit of a surprise to see Ron apparating into our house without warning, absolutely fuming. His first words were "Hermione told me not to come here." He said hello after that, and asked how everything was, though his tone of voice was that of irritation, and you could tell he was only asking as a formality, not so anyone could answer him. I didn't realize what it was that he was so mad over, and why he had so suddenly shown up at Draco's house looking for me. 

"What day is it?" He asked through gritted teeth and a piercing gaze.

"Monday?" I answered. Draco stepped into the conversation, sensing the unease, or rather, the tension between me and Ron.

"Look, whatever this is, could you maybe take it to your house? I don't want Scorpius getting caught up in this. Especially when he's supposed to be learning." He said, gesturing towards Scorpius with a book, papers, and writing utensils spread across the table. Before I knew it, Ron had grasped my arm and side-along apparated me into my house. The dust had really begun to settle in. I hadn't been here in a while.

"What on earth's got you so worked up Ron?" I asked, trying not to lose my cool because of his abrupt behavior.

"What's got me so worked up? Why don't you tell me what day of the year it is. Huh?" I gave him a confused glance, walking to the calendar in the kitchen, pointing at today's box.

"March second... Why?"

"March second! Does that sound important to you?" He continued, prodding at the situation. That was when it dawned on me.

"Your birthday was yesterday."

"My birthday was yesterday! And did you show up? This is the eighth birthday you've missed, Harry. That's eight bloody years of Ginny and Teddy showing up without you because you said you didn't feel well. I just thought now that you've actually made any effort to contact us, unlike other years, that you'd show up. Hermione told me not to get my hopes up, but then Draco Owled us that letter about Scorpius, and then actually replied to us, putting in more effort in three days than you had in eight years. I thought you would actually start writing to us again like he told you to. Was that too much to bloody ask, Harry?"

I truly felt awful. Ron's not one to express very complicated feelings even when he has them, purely because he doesn't want to know what other people will think of them, or maybe he just doesn't want to get caught up in sensitive situations. His rant caught me off guard, making me forget my reasoning for missing this year, when I had fully intended to show up for him. "Ron I'm sorry-"

"Just sorry? That's all? We were all waiting for you: the family, Hermione, even Neville, Luna, and Teddy were there. Ginny too. Why didn't you show up? Not even a note or a card-" His voice was getting louder, and I matched his tone, trying not to explode.

"Because I didn't want to face them." I said stubbornly, feeling the guilt rise within me, wanting the conversation to end.

At this, Ron became even angrier, and asked accusingly: "Who? My family? What did we ever do to you-"

"Nothing, Ron! But the last time I had to face them it was to explain why Molly's only daughter was not pregnant with our child, but rather because of a stranger who violated her! How do you think that feels, Ron? I swore to protect her and I failed! I ruined our relationship and we divorced! I went and sodding fell in love with a bloke in the middle of it all as if there wasn't a chaotic disaster of a life I'd made in America that needed my immediate attention! I went and wasted myself away in a bed, not giving Ginny the love and affection she deserves, wallowing in my own bloody horse-shite. The last thing I want to do is walk into that house as if I deserve to do so." I explained angrily. I felt my veins pulsing through my neck, and I was sure to be red. Ron's expression changed from angry to indecipherable in an instant.

"But, you _do_ deserve to be with us... We don't blame you for everything that happened, Harry. We only want to see you again- to know that you'll be alright..." Said Ron, no longer showing any signs of anger. I stood there not knowing what to say, feeling conflicted at the information he was giving me versus what I had led myself to believe for the past 10 years. I didn't realize my gaze was downward cast until Ron caught my attention.

"Harry, you're my brother, mate. I don't want to lose another one." He said with a smile. I gave him a small, weak smile, and he proceeded to ruffle my hair, causing my smile to turn into a small laugh, before I playfully shooed his arm away, and we both ended up in a tight, strong hug. I shut my eyes tight, keeping tears of mixed emotion at bay. I never realized just how much I truly missed Ron.

"I love you mate." I whispered.

"I love you too. We all do." We let go of the hug, and I was truly smiling wide, all I wanted to do was hug him again, allowing myself to fully understand that things might be okay with us.

"It's good to have you back, Harry."

————

When I got back to Draco's house, he looked up at me, telling Scorpius to go do something and occupy himself, before walking over to me.

"What was Ron going on about?" He asked.

"It was nothing. We figured it out, we made up. Don't worry." I told him. He gave me a suspicious glance before going back to his son.

"Okay... what are you going to do now?" He questioned.

"I'll be in the room." I told him, continuing to walk. My mind traveled back to my conversation with Ron, and how he wasn't mad at me anymore. How he says he still welcomes me. A smile made its way to my face before fading almost as quickly.

_Why would he welcome me after what I did? What if he's okay with it, but nobody else really is? What if I'm just lying to them like I did when I took Ginny's hand?_

My mind began bouncing around ideas of similar nature, questioning my every thought and my every action throughout my relationship with the Weasley family, Hermione, and Teddy.

_What if it was all just lies? I knew I wouldn't be able to protect her but I swore to it anyway. I knew keeping Teddy wasn't a good idea, but I had him anyway. What if I am just a liar? What if I can't help it even if I tried?_

I closed the door to the bedroom, allowing myself to slide down the wall into a sitting position on the floor, knees to my chest, and my left hand close to me. I took a deep breath in, wand in hand, and let my transfiguration fall.


	13. Chapter 13

—Harry POV—

I watched as my left hand began to shift and change, revealing the one scar nobody knew about:

_ I must not tell lies _

_I must not tell lies._ I thought to myself. _But all I'm ever really doing is lying. I lie to Ron, Ginny, Teddy, Draco. I lie to myself, I deserve it._

My head began to hurt, and my chest tightened.

 _I must not tell lies._ I stared at it, tracing every single letter with my opposite finger. _I must not tell lies._

_"I am going to make sure the problems and the tension stop. I promise."_

_"Hi Draco... I'm fine. I'm better now. I've figured some stuff out that will make everything better."_

Soon enough, tracing the letters turned into scratching, more, and more, and more, until the area around it was bright red, until I could feel my scarred-over skin as if it were a fresh cut, when really it was just my hot and irritated hand. As if each letter, each word, was being carved into me again. _I must not tell lies._

A knock on the door, someone calling my name. Being startled, instantly stood upright and facing the door, grey eyes piercing into mine, my hand behind my back, my wand abandoned on the floor, Draco was now in the room, asking what was wrong.

"Wh-" I swallowed. "What do you mean?"

"I heard a bang. As if you hit your head. I heard you groaning in... frustration? What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I said, a bit too quickly. The back of my head began to deliver a dull pain and I realized at one point I must've hit it against the wall. My mind was racing. _I need my wand._ _I need to transfigure myself again. He can't see it._

My eyes kept wandering back to my wand, laying forgotten on the ground.

"You're crying." Draco said after a moment.

I mentally slapped myself across the face. "N-no I'm not." I said with a slight chuckle, panic rising within me. I wiped my tears with my dominant hand, which I now know was a mistake.

"What are you holding behind your back?"

"Nothing." I absentmindedly shifted backwards, _he can't see it._ He started walking towards me.

"Harry-"

"Just, leave the room, please." I said, trying to create more distance between us, the nightstand behind me getting closer. _Draco's wand is in the drawer._ I kept inching backwards.

"Harry let me help-"

"Just leave." I said, my voice pitchy and frantic.

"What did you do, hurt yourself?"

I jerked my left side away from him and we froze, staring at each other, his eyes held a challenge, mine were pleading for him to get away.

"Harry, give me your arm."

"No." My throat was closing up, my heart was pounding, and I was holding my breath. _I could take one final bound towards his wand. Would he catch me first?_

"Harry, just let me see it."

After another second I turned around, daringly going for the nightstand, going to open the drawer and _get Draco's wand._ But Draco was faster, the drawer opened and he took me by the arms firmly, turning me around, his hold becoming gentle as he began to inspect me. _The fight isn't worth it anymore._ I thought, silently cursing myself.

I saw concern looking up at me, willing to see inside of me.

"When..." I jerked my hand away.

"5th year." I said, looking down and away. Not wanting to look into those eyes.

"Did you...?"

"No... I didn't carve words into myself." I felt a soft hand brush my face, having me look at him. I closed my eyes. _I must not tell lies._ _I need to keep myself together._

"Who did this to you? Open your eyes, please." I kept my eyes closed.

"It doesn't matter." _I must not tell lies._

"Why have I never seen it?" I stayed silent, my focus was no longer on Draco, but on my body, frozen in fear.

"Please leave the room." I whispered, voice wavering.

"I'm not going to leave you, it's obvious you've been scratching it."

"Please." _Breathe._

"Harry, you can talk to me-"

"Not about this." _I must not tell lies._ _Keep yourself together. Breathe._

"Why not-"

"Please just go!" I screamed, voice ragged and scratchy, face red with held back tears. Tears that I won't let fall. Body shaking with guilt. _I must not tell lies._

My eyes kept opening and closing, tears just on the brim. I kept taking shallow, jagged breaths, and everything felt hot and uncomfortable. I choked back a whimper, and at the moment I just wanted to be on the floor, my surroundings didn't matter anymore. Slowly I was welcomed by the presence of cold, polished hardwood. I felt a hand on my arm, just there.

"It's okay." I heard a voice tell me, but I didn't believe it. Only a true idiot can have a breakdown over something that happened 12 years ago. Something I had already gotten over. _Did I ever really get over it?_

I felt liquid drip from my eyes, over the bridge of my nose, and hugging my face. I felt every part of me tremble.

"I've been lying to everyone." I murmured. I only faintly felt Draco lifting me from my position on the ground, into him. Now I was laying on his chest.

"No... you haven't." He said, and I knew he still didn't fully understand what was going on.

"Yes, I have."

I closed my eyes when I felt his hand weave into my hair, leaning into his touch. His arm loosely around my waist and his hand in my hair. I sniffled. I felt his hand move from around my waist to my left hand, examining the scar, brushing his fingers up against it.

"It's your handwriting." He said softly.

"I know." I replied.

"You didn't do this?"

"I mean, technically..." my voice trailed off. _Another lie. I did do this to myself. I'm the one who wrote that, over and over, day after day._

"How did this happen?"

"It was my punishment." I stated, feeling a my stomach curl.

"For what? Was it your relatives?"

"They never went that far." I said, nose thoroughly stuffed, tears desperately clinging to the bottom of my chin. The outside of my body felt numb, but inside couldn't feel more turbulent.

"Who did this, Harry? You can trust me."

"Like I said, it's not important." I stated again, earning a sigh from him.

"Harry... I'd say it's... at least a little bit important... given the current circumstances."

"It was Umbridge. See? Not important." I said, a small wave of frustration coming and going.

"With the blood quill?" I nodded numbly. "Didn't those heal instantly?"

"She gave me so many detentions for claiming Voldemort was back that it left permanent scarring." We were both quiet after that, and I was feeling calm again, but I also felt drained and tired. After a minute, I said: "Draco?" And he gave a hum in response. The only problem is; my brain decided to go empty as soon as I called his name, and I no longer wanted to speak, nor did I know what I'd wanted to say.

"Harry?" I just shook my head slowly, moving to hug him. I wanted to lay down, but I didn't want to let go or say anything, so I let this awkwardly positioned hug happen, and I was oddly comforted by it, feeling as Draco's hand ran up and down my back in a soothing manner, while I just hugged deeper, and deeper, wanting to just lose myself in the moment.

My mind was in a haze, and I just faintly remember being in the bed, Draco and I remaining together. Everything was slow, and sounds were muffled. I felt his lips brush  
Mine before we engaged in a slow, passionate kiss, followed by another. Everything around me was getting blurrier, and I couldn't see because my eyes decided to close themselves. The kisses were sweet and loving. However, I don't remember anything after the third kiss.

—Draco POV—

I had decided to bring us from the uncomfortable floor to the bed right next to us, and I could feel Harry leaning into me heavily. When we were finally lying comfortably, I couldn't help but give him a slow, meaningful kiss- one that made me tingle inside. One led to another of the same manner. Harry was reacting slowly, and I let us take our time. It was after the third kiss, when I noticed he stopped kissing back, and I pulled away only to realize he'd fallen asleep. I took his glasses off of him and put them on my nightstand. Then, turning to face Harry again, I ran my hand through his hair, hugging him gently. He needs the rest. I stayed with him for a while, just thinking over everything. Really, _everything_ had to happen to Harry. But it's okay, because he's strong. Stronger than he may ever realize.


	14. Chapter 14

—Harry POV—

"We need to go back to the market." I looked up at Draco, processing his words, setting the book I was reading down. I don't read much, but Draco told me I absolutely _had_ to read one titled 'The Mailbox'. I was only about ten pages into the book though.

"Okay." I said, getting up from the couch.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"I just wanted to make sure, since last week you came back from your conversation with Ron and had a breakdown, everything is alright between the two of you, right? I know that's important to you..." I looked at him, staying silent for just a moment to long.

"Yeah. I'm actually really happy about how our conversation turned out. I think he might not be mad anymore." I told Draco, not stopping the smile creeping onto my face. "He said it's all okay, that they all just miss me." My smile began to fade.

"How could a conversation so good have led to what it did? Asked Draco vaguely, knowing I understood what he meant.

"I had just thought about things. Some of the things that had driven us apart." I said, not really wanting to continue.

"It's alright, I understand. How are you enjoying the book so far?" My smile came back, and I rolled my eyes with a chuckle.

"I'm only on page 10." I told him.

"Page 10 is enough to get you intrigued. Are you enjoying it so far?" He continued, a smirk on his face.

"Yeah. It's interesting." I responded. He gave me a playful shove.

"I wonder what amazing, absolutely impeccable human being recommended that." A mischievous glint could be seen in my eyes when he said that.

"Oh just some book worm that I know. He doesn't stop reading. He told me that I absolutely must read it." I replied, returning the shove.

————

We were getting back in the car when a question popped into my head. I decided now's as good a time as ever to ask.

"Draco, why did you so deeply integrate yourself into the Muggle world?" I looked at him, and he stared back at me, grey eyes with hidden emotion, an expression that begged for understanding was held within those eyes, but the rest of his face showed no such appearance. I almost didn't realize that we had stayed silent for a minute. It was Scorpius who brought us out of each other's gaze.

"What's a Muggle?" Draco turned to see Scorpius, then turned to the front of the car. We were still in the parking spot, the car was on. He sighed.

"A Muggle is somebody who can't use magic." He put the car into gear and began to back out of the parking space.

"So... Maria?" He asked curiously.

"Yes, Maria. You don't tell her about this. Do you understand?" He made eye contact with Scorpius through the rearview mirror.

"Okay."

"Good." As we began driving home, I couldn't help but wonder if I had asked at the wrong moment. Scorpius, after a moment of silence, asked why.

"Because, we have to keep our magic, and everything about our world, a secret. This includes you taking a potion when you got sick. It involves every time you see me or Harry using magic, and it involves your racing broom."

"Okay..." He said, sounding rather small. I looked over at Draco.

"Was I... not meant to ask-"

"You're fine, Harry. Let's just... get home."

"Alright." I answered. The rest of the ride home was rather quiet. It seemed nobody wanted to speak, and there was an odd sort of feeling among us. I couldn't quite describe it.

When we got home and everything was put away and dealt with, Draco turned to the room after telling Scorpius to go play. I followed suit, expecting that we were going to be talking there. What I found slightly surprising is that Draco got to his nightstand and was fiddling with something, obviously trying to make himself busy. He then turned around, closing the nightstand drawer and sat down on the edge of the bed. I approached with concern.

"Draco?"

"Yes?" He said, as if he had no idea why I was talking to him. I raised an eyebrow.

"Are you going to..." he sighed in response to me.

"I haven't really adapted to Muggle life." I tilted my head, not believing what he was saying.

"Yes. Draco Malfoy the pure blooded wizard, living in the Muggle World, cooking like a Muggle, going to the market, buying Muggle entertainment, watching Muggle movies, befriending Muggles-"

"Okay, you can stop now. Fine, yes, I have been trying to live more like a Muggle."

"Only trying?" I said in disbelief. I then sat down beside him, realizing I may have unintentionally sounded accusing and just a bit harsh.

"I'm not mad... sorry. I'm just, really curious. I mean, I would never have expected it. You of all people, living here?" I explained softly.

"It's different. It's nothing like how I was raised. That's why I did it." He reasoned. I furrowed my brows, now only much more curious than before.

"I don't want to go back to how I used to be. I figured living a Muggle life would straighten me out, and well, it definitely helped..."

"But..." I continued for him, because the look in his eyes said this was about more than himself.

"But I also don't want Scorpius to be how I was when I was younger. And he is so much like me. I didn't want to have a child... I knew it would mean that I lost Astoria. But she told me she was going to die anyway... she didn't want to leave me alone. The day he was born was, and still is, the best day of my life." I heard him sniffle, but no tears fell. I scooted closer to him, wrapping an arm around him, soothingly going up and down his arm while my head rested on his shoulder.

"The least I could do for her is raise Scorpius right... to not brainwash him and have him living in a false universe where he's better than anyone else. To make sure he wasn't misguided by me. Of course, to me, he is better than anyone else. He's my son, he's my everything. He deserves everything. But that's just in my world. And I know I can't give him everything he wants. It would only spoil him, like I was. I won't hesitate to do anything for him though. I've thought about it, and if I had to kill somebody to save him... I would." I looked up at him, not moving, and he looked at me, before speaking again.

"But, that's not the point." He clapped his knee, sighing. "I just get scared... that if he's raised the way I was, he'll be the same nasty git. Every day I wonder if I'm doing something wrong, if I'm going about everything the wrong way, and if, come Hogwarts, he'll change and become like I was anyway." It was his turn to lean his head onto my shoulder. I then leaned on his head, once again wrapping my arm around him.

"I think you're doing an amazing job with him. I know; I'm one to speak, but it's true. He has good manners, he's never rude, at least not that I've seen. Scorpius is really quite the bright and bubbly boy. Yes, he has a flare for dramatics, and he's absolutely brilliant. I know I was not as clever as him when I was his age." I slightly stiffened. Maybe if I had my parents, or at the vary least, not been mistreated by the Dursley's, I would have known more things. It's not like I'm below average or anything... but at Scorpius's age, I was not as smart as he is.

"And what Scorpius is coming to be, it's all because of you, and how incredible of a father you've been. I don't think you're misguiding him, I think you're doing just fine. And I don't think living in the Muggle world will change how Scorpius turns out." I finished.

"Hey," I moved, so he had to lift his head and look at me. I took the chance to lean in for a kiss.

"You really are quite the father. Scorpius is lucky to have you." He cracked a small smile.

"You really think so?" I nodded. "And what about that kiss?" He asked.

"What about it?" I continued, eyebrow arched and smile wide.

"I just think you could do better." He stated with a smirk. I reciprocated it.

"You mean like this?" I pushed him backwards, getting on top of him and letting our lips connect. He pushed back, deepening the passionate kiss. I stopped for a second, just so I could get a look at him. _I love you._ I ran my hand down his side, feeling the goosebumps of his that I left in the wake of my trail, until I got to his hand, which I squeezed firmly. I let myself close my eyes, laying down and resting my head in the crook of his neck. I squeezed his hand again. _I love you._ I felt as his hand came up to wrap me into a hug.

Draco turned over, and I was now laying next to him instead of on top of him, but I made sure to continue holding his hand.

"You're an amazing father, Draco. You're an amazing person. You're not who you used to be. Not anymore. And I don't think you'll be going back to being that person any time soon."

"You really mean that?" He asked, sniffling and with a smile.

"I wholeheartedly mean that." I squeezed his hand once more, and he squeezed back. _I love you._


	15. Chapter 15

—Harry POV—

One time, we found Scorpius playing on his game console in the middle of the night. Draco wasn't mad, but he told him that we need to be asleep at night, not playing games. He had said okay, and that was that. Draco was sure that Scorpius had learned his lesson, especially when he was absolutely exhausted at Rose's birthday party the next day.

I ended up seeing all of the Weasley's at her birthday. It was awkward, and finding conversation was difficult, especially with Ginny, who is now visibly pregnant. She doesn't like to talk about it, and she still doesn't know if she wants a baby shower. Everyone got excited when the baby kicked, but it was a timid sort of excitement. They were all happy about the immediate situation, yet the way it all happened still sat with everyone like a pool of unmoving tar at our feet. Nobody mentioned it at all.

Another thing that seemed to wordlessly stay on everyone's mind was what I'd done, or rather, tried to do. They all tried to hide it, but their faces of pity showed. Everyone asked if I was okay, while making it seem like it was the most normal thing to ask. It made me feel sick.

George is talking to people again, which is good. He hasn't quite spoken to anyone since the war, and now he would just look at me. I never understood what that look meant, and I couldn't help but wonder why he was attempting to speak to everyone but me. Well, he did speak to me once. He told me he was glad that I'm okay.

Ron was trying his best to make it seem like our friendship never strained in the first place. Things were rocky and bumpy, and eventually he said simply 'It's good to have you back.'

Draco found it odd to be around all of the Weasleys for the second time in his life. He kept muttering to himself, saying it's for Scorpius, or it's for me. There were times where we found our hands drifting together, and though everyone knew about us to some extent, excluding the children, it felt inappropriate, and almost rude to show any sort of affection in front of the family, especially when you could hear the obvious hesitance in everyone whenever they asked about us, if they even asked about us.

Teddy's birthday went a bit similarly, but things revolved more around him, and less around the Weasley's, of which only Ron, Hermione, and Ginny had showed up. It was a significantly smaller gathering, but, nevertheless, fun for the children.

Teddy was using his Metamorphagus again, though not as much as he used to, still. He's growing up rather quickly, and he's quite the kind young man. He's respectful around the adults, and gets along with Rose, and Scorpius especially, given they were each other's first friend. I've also come to notice Teddy to be a bit shy.

At one point, I asked Andromeda about his bullying, and she told me that since Teddy rarely left the house anymore, things began to die down. I couldn't help but allow my expression to darken because of that, and looking into Teddy's eyes, I could see the glint of sadness he was hiding. Later that same day, I asked him about it alone, and he told me that things were okay, but that he was still worried about starting school. I reminded him that I would be there on his first day to drop him off at platform 9 3/4. I also reminded him that I'm always just an owl away.

I would be lying if I didn't say that I felt at least a dash of pride knowing that Teddy trusted me more than anyone else, except maybe Scorpius. I honestly don't know how it happened, especially when I was so ignorant of his needs when I had him. But, I was proud and grateful, and I wanted to be there for him now in any way that I could, without pushing myself too far again.

Draco and I found out that Scorpius was continuing to stay up and play games in the middle of the night. He got quite upset at it too, and had to put his foot down. The whole ordeal was truly a battle of the dramatics. One which my half-asleep self was utterly entertained by. Now, Scorpius can't use any devices for one month.

Eventually, Draco's birthday reared forth, and things were generally calm that day. Nobody came over except Maria, who insisted that he try the rice pudding she made for him, before going back to her house as if she didn't just leave us an entire pot full of the sweet.

Scorpius had plans for his father's birthday that he'd decided not to tell us. So it was a surprise to us both when we found him holding out one of his teddy bears with a card made of spare parchment. _Happy Birthday Dada!_ Was written in blue and green crayon, and a drawing of the two of them was on the inside of the card. Draco thanked him, saying it was a masterpiece. Then, he stuck it to the front of the refrigerator. 'A reminder of the world's best birthday gift.' He said.

Later that night I put up a silencing charm in the bedroom and gave him my own sort of birthday gift. We both enjoyed it quite a bit, to say the least.

A few days after Draco's birthday, Teddy came over for the day and spent time with Scorpius. I noticed his metamophagus was, once again, not working, but I didn't say anything. After all, being with Scorpius always seems to raise his spirits.

I have to say, in the past two months, my mental health was, overall, much better. I was sleeping most nights, I hadn't missed my medication in a while, and I hadn't had panic attacks as often as I used to. I found myself getting out of bed and actually caring for myself. I also stopped using any transfiguration around Draco, which he greatly appreciated. It was uncomfortable at first, but I got used to it. He never lingers on any topics that could become too uncomfortable, and we've been happier together as well.

Everything was generally quiet. No drama with Ron and Hermione, no problems with Ginny, no worry about Teddy, no fear from the Dursley's, and no guilt from the war, well, at least, none compared to how I used to be. I was quite enjoying this. I liked my quiet life in Muggle America with Draco and Scorpius.

Today, things were going as usual. I woke up with Draco by my side, and we went downtown for a while, noticing the significant increase in traffic around. We had visited a Nautical museum with Scorpius, and he loved learning about all sorts of things, from the history of ships, to the construction of ships. The museum closed fairly early, at four o'clock, and now we were home. Draco and I were getting ready to prepare dinner while Scorpius took a shower. Everything was going well. Things were good. I couldn't have asked for a calmer time in my life. It all abruptly ground to a halt as soon as we heard a furious banging from the front door, and Draco opened it, unknowingly letting in the worst news I'd received since the war ended.


	16. Chapter 16

—Draco POV—

I heard a furious banging at my front door, causing me to whip my head in that direction, before turning to Harry, clear confusion across my face.

"Oye! Abre la puerta coño!" [Hey! Open the damn door!] I recognized Maria's voice being muffled by the door. Harry looked towards me.

"I need to go transfigure my arms, I'll be in the room. Go ahead and open the door." He told me, before racing to my room where his wand is. I heard more knocking, and quickly made my way to the door, wondering what on earth Maria could be so urgent for.

Opening the door, I was met with what could possibly be the most sarcastic smile I'd ever seen.

"Hello?" I asked her, curious as to what could be going on.

"Hello, Draco." She said, lowering her glasses and tilting her head back slightly, looking at me through the lenses of her thin frames with a suspicious and judgmental look. I raised a single eyebrow at her, giving her a confused face.

"Your last name is Malfoy... right?" She asked, bringing her glasses to once again rest on her nose normally, crossing her arms and leaning against the doorframe.

"Yes? Maria, you already know this." I said, only growing more puzzled from the encounter. "What's all this about?" I inquired.

"Mira, look. A few weeks ago, en casa de mi hermano [at my brothers house], my nephew asked me to see a new movie that was going to come out today. Y claro que I said yes. [of course I said yes.] You know how it is, I love my nephew. Of course I will sit down and watch fairy tales with him." She began, I nodded my head as to tell her to continue, now also crossing my arms.

"Well, this particularly interesting movie had a main character with the same name as your friend. And it had a character with your name as well. Y ustedes parecen igualito. You look exactly the same. You and the actor. Mira. [look]" my breath hitched, wondering what she could mean by this. It wasn't until she showed me the poster for the movie she saw, that my face paled, and I suddenly felt uneasy in the stomach.

_ Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince _

"Maria? What is this?" I asked almost accusingly.

"You are a magic wizard! And what's worse, and evil one-"

"Petrificus Totalus." In an instant, Maria fell to the floor with a thud, stiff as a board. I turned around to see Harry a small distance away from me, with his wand out at Maria, looking absolutely panicked.

"We need to call Hermione, Now." I told him. I looked around. The front door was wide open, and my Muggle neighbor was in a full-body bind across the threshold of my front door. I blinked a few times, swallowing in an attempt to soothe my now dry throat.

"Help me get her inside." I told Harry, who put his wand in his pocket, moving to help me lift her from the door to my couch. I closed the front door, still feeling shocked.

"Call her for me." I mumbled. "Tell her it's urgent." I tried to ignore my oncoming nausea, going to Scorpius's room. I knocked, proceeding to open the door.

"Scorpius, I need you to do me a favor: it's important, it is absolutely necessary, that you stay in this room, and do not come out until I come back to get you. Do you understand?" I gave him a stern and serious look, hiding the chill that ran through me.

"Why?" I heard the fireplace roar to life in the distance.

"Because I'm telling you to. Do not leave this room. Understood?" He nodded. "Thank you." I closed his door, going out to the living room.

"What on earth? How did this happen?" Hermione told me sternly, gesturing towards my neighbor.

"I-I don't know!" I said defensively. "She walked up to my house banging on the door, and when I answered it, she told me there was this movie, and it's about us! Us as Wizards! The Wizarding World. And she showed me a Muggle photo of people that look like you, Harry, and Ron." I told her, stumbling through my words. She looked at me in utter disbelief.

"I'm going to reverse this and talk to her." She told me, looking back between me and Harry.

I nodded stiffly, settling to stand in a spot just in front of Harry.

"Finite." Hermione cast. Maria blinked a few times, sitting up and looking around. The three of us were stood, watching her as she regained her bearings. She immediately got up, pointing an accusing finger, and backing away from us.

"What did you do to me? What was that?! You! You were in the movie too! You are all magic- what was that, did you kill me?" She looked around frantically. You're Harry Potter, the main character. The actor was exactly like you but with blue eyes and less messy hair-" She began rambling, shakily trying to get to my front door without letting us leave her sight. She began mumbling and making the sign of the Christian cross with her hand.

"Listen. I need you to please, calmly explain what you are talking about." Eased Hermione, going towards her and gently grabbing her hands. I'd never seen Maria jumpy like this. She gave us all a suspicious glance.

"I saw a movie with my nephew about you. All of you."

"Are you absolutely sure?"

"Yes. And you," -she pointed at me- "You are... you, you have that thing on your arm. The black snake." My heart skipped a beat, and I subconsciously drew my hand behind my back, shuffling closer to Harry without quite realizing it.

"This is not good." Said Hermione, turning to look at us. "The Wizarding World has been compromised, the Statue of Secrecy is going to break, I-" she looked back at Maria.

"These movies, what are they called?"

"My nephew said there's six movies. This is the newest one that I've seen. But I don't watch them, my nephew does. He calls them the Harry Potter movies." I looked at Harry, who almost seemed like he wasn't even with us anymore, the uneasiness in my stomach only grew.

Hermione drew her wand "We need to Obliviate her-" I held out my arm.

"Are you mental? Let's just go Obliviate everyone who saw the movie, why don't we?"

"Well what do you suggest? She can't know about this! How did this even happen? I... I need to do more reading. I need to read about this. I need to visit my parents, or something. Ask around." I looked at Maria, with a dangerous, yet pleading look.

"You cannot tell anybody. Do you understand?"

"Ay Draco, I don't even understand what's going on! And what is all of this magic stuff? What is it that she said she wanted to do to me?" She asked, pointing at Hermione. "And what are you hiding from me? Are you a criminal? The movie said you tried to kill people! Should I call the Police-"

"Maria! Please..."

"Draco-"

"Obliviate." I heard the whisper of his word trickle past my ear, and I looked at Harry, who then dropped his wand on the ground, backing away. I turned to Hermione, then Maria, then I heard my bedroom door slam. I was giving all of my effort to not panic.

"Hermione-"

"I will take her home. Draco, do you realize what this means? You both need to come back to Wizarding England."


	17. Chapter 17

—Harry POV—

_She knows. She knows who I am, she knows about the Wizarding World, she knows about Dumbledore, she knows everything._ I threw the door of the bedroom closed, pacing back and forth, back and forth, feverishly running my hands through my hair. _Why is there a movie about me? Why are there six entire movies about me?_ I struggled for air, short of breath, mindlessly yet harshly gripping my now crossed arms. _Why does she know what the dark mark was supposed to look like? Why does she know about sixth year? Why does she know everything?_ I groaned in annoyance, frustration, and confusion, beginning to feel dizzy. My heart pulsed, giving me an uncomfortable jolt across my chest. I clenched my hands tightly, feeling my nails dig harshly into my palms. Realizing what was happening to me, I took in a forced breath- one that was too weak. Everything was twisting and turning, my head was spinning, and I was losing my grip on reality.

"Harry..." I shut my eyes tight, going towards the voice and hugging what felt like Draco, it was only then I realized I was hyperventilating.

"Hey, look at me, everything is okay. Look at me, we need to relax." He held me by the shoulders, and I gripped him tightly, getting a bout of lightheadedness. I felt a hand go to my chest, making me twitch.

"We breathe together." I nodded, feeling my heart pulse once more, with so much force that it could have sent me to the floor.

"In..." I closed my eyes, holding on to the arm that was extended towards my chest. I sucked a breath in. _Stop shaking._

"Out..." my exhale came as three short, staggered breaths.

"Come on, once more, in..." I shoved my way towards his chest, feeling that his heart rate was as fast as mine, I pulled away. It didn't help to feel that. _His heart is never like that when he's helping me. Is he alright? Why does he feel as jittery as I am?_ I felt Draco bring his hand back to my chest, pressing gently.

"Focus on what I'm saying. Everything is okay." That was what I did, though I just wanted to lean into him again. I knew that whatever was going on with his heart wasn't going to help me though; It was only going to make me get closer to teetering on the edge of panic fueled hysteria. After several more deep, controlled breaths, and me working desperately to calm my nerves and _slow down_ , we were both hugging each other tightly- his heart was okay now- and soon enough, we were both sitting side by side on the edge of the bed. My mind was buzzing, and I felt like I was going crazy. But, at least I wasn't panicking anymore. I kept reminding myself to take deep breaths.

"Harry... I need to tell you something... You need to promise you'll be alright..." He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I lightly squeezed back, still in too much of a daze to speak. My gaze fixed on the wall.

"Harry... Hermione says that we have to go... being here puts the reality of the Wizarding World at risk..."

My breath hitched, and I squeezed his hand tighter, tighter. _Breathe._

_Back to the Wizarding World- back to the War- back to the publicity- back to the Weasley family who I so recklessly destroyed- back to the graves of the fallen fifty- back to Hogwarts, my first home- back to everyone wanting a picture and an autograph- back to questions, day after day of people prodding and poking at my personal life- back to avoiding the Daily prophet, Rita Skeeter, and every overly grateful witch and wizard._

_Back to hiding._

"Listen, Everything is going to be okay. We're going to do this together." I felt him squeeze back, shaking. He took a deep breath in, exhaling with a sigh. After a moment, I decided to speak.

"I don't know if I can go back." I whispered. The room stayed silent for what felt like 10 minutes, before I heard another sigh from Draco, who squeezed my hand tightly once more.

"I don't know if I can go back either... But we need to. It's dangerous to stay here, Harry." He told me, pausing for a few moments of silence. When the air was too tense for me to bear, when he realized that his leg had been bouncing up and down, when we could not possibly squeeze our hands any tighter, was when he stood up with a start. He turned to me, glancing around quickly before looking me straight into the eyes. I didn't fail to notice his hands, fidgeting. I don't think I've ever seen him so insecure, at least, not in a long, long time. Not since we were merely boys. I opened my mouth to speak, to say something that might possibly soothe the unrest that I could now so clearly see reflected in the silver of his eyes. But somehow, the words never even formulated in my brain. I found myself mentally gaping for something, anything, because in his eyes I saw the abrupt wave of fear for the future that I knew so well now, swallowing him up and making him shrink. I snapped out of my endless search for the right words when I heard Draco suck in a breath, looking out to the door, then looking at me, and speaking: 

"I need to talk to Scorpius."


	18. Chapter 18

—Harry POV—

"I need to talk to Scorpius."

He went over to me, taking my hand and squeezing, I assume for reassurance, then let go, our hands lingering for a second too long, before he left the room with the door open. I saw as he made his way down the hall. Hand tentatively hovering by Scorpius's door, the ghost of a knock on his fingertips. He stayed there for a minute, maybe more, before glancing at me, then back at the door.

In a rush, he bounded back down the hallway, throwing our door shut, and within a second he was sitting centimeters away from me, hand gingerly on my chin, before taking me into a deep, passionate, and hungry kiss. After my initial surprise, I returned it. He was hurried and feverish though as he eased me to a laying-down position on the bed.

With each kiss, I could feel him shaking more, our kissing came with more and more struggle on his end, until he was no longer trying- stiff. Soon, I sensed the heat radiating from his face. I pulled away slightly, wanting to see what was wrong. It was then that I noticed his eyes were tightly shut. Lips pressed into a thin line. I saw the first tear fall, followed by another, and another. He leaned forward, connecting our foreheads. I gently gripped Draco's shoulders, easing him down to lay by me as I brought us into a hug.

"...I can't do it... I'm failing... It's going to ruin his life." He sucked in a breath. "England isn't safe for him, and it's my fault."

"Draco-" he stood up, red faced and still crying, his eyes piercing into my soul. I stood up as well.

"It's my fault that Rita-fucking-Skeeter is trying to destroy an innocent eight-year old's life. If I wasn't who I was, a- death eater... Scorpius wouldn't have to deal with this. Skeeter wouldn't be spreading rumors to her... her moronic, dim-witted, absolutely brainless readers... about Scorpius being Voldemort's son. He's _my_ son, goddamn it, and anyone questioning it can go to hell." He stated firmly, his voice betraying him by wavering at the last few words. He caught his breath, letting more tears fall. I came to him, wrapping Draco in a hug and rubbing small circles on his upper back. I heard him sniffle as he brought his arms around me.

"I ruined my son's life before he was even born. I failed as a father before I knew if I would even live to see the day." I closed my eyes, fighting back my own drops of liquid grief. _I will stay strong for Draco._

I think the worst part of it all, is that I didn't know what to say, how to tell him that this wasn't his fault, that what Rita Skeeter decided to write was her own problem, that she truly only ever wanted something people would read, whether it was credible or not.

He sniffled again, and I held him tighter.

"I don't think that having raised one of the brightest, kindest, most ambitious, confident, and intelligent little children I've ever met, qualifies as failing... and, you're not that...  
You aren't a death eater anymore... don't call yourself that, please." After a silence, we just remained there, no longer talking. The occasional sniffle coming from Draco was the only sound that would ring through the room. That, and eventually, the slightly distant creeping open of Scorpius's bedroom door, followed by brief silence, and footsteps.

"Dada?" Said his muffled voice. "Are you okay?"

I closed my eyes, willing him to not enter the room at this moment.

"He's alright, Scorpius. We'll be out soon." I called. Another sniffle from Draco, followed by him hesitantly leaving the hug. He looked at me with a straight face, though his eyes were overwhelmed with emotion.

"Are you going to tell him?" I asked gently. He blinked, before giving a brief nod.

"Can we be alone? When I tell him? Can it be just me and him?"

"Yeah... yeah. Of course." I answered. He stayed looking at me for another bit.

"What parts of her memory did you erase?" He asked in a slightly shy manner.

"Anything with you, Scorpius, or me in it." He swallowed, then nodded again.

"Okay... okay." He brought his hand to his opposite arm, before bringing it down again.

"He's going to be devastated. He never had friends. When Maria would watch him, he saw it as a field day. He got to see a face other than mine all the time, you know? I mean, yes, he'd go out of the house with me when we had to... but I kept it to a minimum, especially at the beginning, when I was still getting used to the Muggle World. Besides, he only ever interacted with me or Maria. He was too shy around the neighborhood kids... He did try the first time he met them. He was four, and I watched it unfold. They were teasing him over his hair, and it got a bit out of hand. That was the first time he used accidental magic." He shook his head.

"Maria just knows kids, I guess. She's a bit judgmental but keeps it quiet. He never got mad around her... I'm rambling, I don't want to tell him... Okay. Just, stay here, I guess. I'll go speak to him now." I saw as he made small rapid steps to the door, opening it, then closing it. As his footsteps receded, I sat on the edge of the bed in thought of the insecurities Draco has shared with me recently. He had always looked like he knew what he was doing, like he had somehow just been prepared to have and raise a child. But his façade was well-put, and now was when I realized it. I guess all I could do was sit and wait. I am not about to intrude on something so purely between the two of them... even if it was my doing, it was necessary. What's happening is bad. It's going to impact the entire Wizarding World if it hasn't already. I'll listen to them from here. Just in case I need to step in.


	19. Chapter 19

—Draco POV—

"Scorpius, why don't you sit down?" I told him, pulling out a chair at the dining room table.

"Why did I hear screaming?" He asked, and I avoided eye contact, before settling to look at him.

"Scorpius... Maria knows that we're magic." I saw his eyes light up. It crushed me.

"Does that mean I can show her the bedtime stories you used to read to me about dragons and unicorns?" I shook my head, taking a deep breath.

"Scorpius, no... H- I... had to erase her memory." I saw his previous excitement simmer down into a look of confusion and lost confidence.

"She doesn't know who we are anymore. And she can't know," I finished explaining. Scorpius' gaze became downcast- I saw his eyes go dim.

"I know Maria has been part of our lives for a long time, and she's grown to be quite a friend to us... but I had to do it." We sat in a somber and uncomfortable silence, before I spoke again:

"We also are going to have to move... We're going to be living a lot closer to Rose and Teddy. We'll also be living loads closer to the school you are going to attend in a few years." The silence was stiff and deafening. The feeling of suffocation it gave me was one I hadn't felt in an eternity. I wished to be able to see into Scorpius' mind and ease his thoughts. I wished he would talk to me instead of simply looking down miserably at his lap, masking what was going through his mind.

"I didn't want to do it..." I said honestly, to hopefully relieve any horrid or intrusive thoughts of his. More silence ensued. I'd never detested it more. When I reached a hand to his shoulder, he moved away, scraping the floor with the feet of the chair as he got up, walking back to his room.

"Scorpius-" His door closed with a shuddering bang.

————

—Harry POV—

Days passed and the house only felt more and more depressing. I could see that Draco became more stiff and stoic as time trudged along. He slowly became less affectionate, and more reserved. We didn't quite hug much anymore either. He avoided overly emotional conversations, only ever talking about practical things, like how we are going to get everything moved from Muggle America to Wizarding England, or whether we were going to stay somewhere new, or at 12 Grimmauld place, which I elected as an option in a failed attempt to make conversation out of his late-night monotonous listing of tasks and to-do's.

Scorpius was silent as I'd ever seen him. He wasn't as lively as an eight-year-old child should be, and he only brought up educational topics in conversation. Asking about what he was currently learning, or anything else his curious little mind thought of. He never mentioned Maria, and neither of them mentioned anything about moving again to each other.

The first house that got packed was mine and Ginny's house. Ron and Hermione had shown up in her place. She was now so pregnant that they were prepared for the baby to come any day. For the most part, the packing, throwing away, and cleaning of everything was without words, making for an awkward exchange of glances if anyone ran into anyone else. We each did something until, after two days and some magic, the job was done.

One week passed since Maria, and I remember Draco walked up to me unexpectedly, stating: "I think these are more than movies." He brought up the incident at the bookstore, and how that made more sense than what he had previously thought. Hermione, who I called via floo, confirmed this, saying that there are seven books detailing our 'adventures' throughout all of our years at Hogwarts, and our places in the war. Draco and I got into an argument that day when he insisted on going back to the bookstore to find and read everything. That argument spiraled into a harsh exchange of strong feelings that were for the most part untrue, as we seemed to disagree about everything in life that day. I went to my old, empty and packed home and slept there that night. I didn't come back until the next night, when Draco showed up looking for me. I could see a masked face of worry and concern. We didn't speak about the emotional aspect of all of this again after that, even though I was desperate to sort out my thoughts and have him listen, like he had been the last majority of a year.

Time passed, and I really was getting bad again. I wasn't sleeping, and I found myself panicking more often, and the urge to hurt myself came across me more often as well. It seems that whenever I wasn't thinking about Draco or Scorpius, I was thinking about how this could have all happened, and who could have leaked the existence of the Wizarding World so foolishly. As well as how this person got so many details about me, and the things that I thought only I, or Ron and Hermione, knew about.

My mind kept trailing to Rita Skeeter, and I remembered how Hermione mentioned a Muggle named Joanne, saying she must be a relative of a Wizard, 'or something'. However, it seemed the two of us are thoroughly confused as to why she knew so many personal things, or things that happened when I was alone. Things I'd never told anyone, like my living at the Dursley's, which Hermione had so graciously ranted to me about after she read every single book with my name on the front cover. 'Why didn't you tell us?' 'Were you able to recover?' 'No wonder you always looked like a twig at the start of term.' 'Harry, your aunt and uncle abused you. How could you stay quiet about that?'. It was draining, and we stopped exchanging letters after I chose not to respond to that one.

One night, after everything that happened with Maria, when I was wandering the house, sleepless, I remembered hearing choked sobs coming from the restroom. The voice was distinctly Draco's. I'd followed the voice, entering the bathroom.

Shirt forgotten on the bathroom floor, arms veiny and trembling, supporting him against the sink, back arched miserably, tears down each pale cheek- pooling at his chin and dripping helplessly- hair ragged, messy, unkept.

"Why are you awake?" He whispered, his voice betraying him, wobbling and broken.

"I'm awake so I can help you."

I went to hug him, and he practically collapsed into my embrace, completely breaking down. That night we cried into each other's arms, him more than me. I imagine that night to have been an emotional chip for Draco, a chip off of the uncaring façade he'd so suddenly pulled up, but I didn't bring it up again. Ever since that night though, he's been less rigid about everything, and more calm. However, it was quite unequivocal that everyone is miserable, and we are all so preoccupied with ourselves that we can't help each other like we should.

Draco still poured all of his time into organizing the move, and keeping Scorpius on track with school. I was just focused on keeping myself in the present moment, trying to keep panic, dissociation, and scratching to a minimum. Trying to make sure I eat, that all of us eat, really. Scorpius was lost in his own universe, and I could only blame myself for not knowing what was going on with him, especially when I know he means the world to Draco.


	20. Chapter 20

—Draco POV—

The day before the move came, it was official: we're going to stay in 12, Grimmauld Place. We have already gone more than once in the past week- Harry, Scorpius, and I. I didn't want to take Scorpius, but Maria was no longer an option... We cleaned the whole house. We repaired broken things, we took down Walburga Black's portrait, with intense struggle thanks to her screaming at the top of her lungs, as well as it having previously been hung with a permanent sticking charm, which I managed to brew a potion to counter it with. We freed Kreacher, letting him leave the house once and for all, which he did not like. It took hours of negotiation before he agreed to leave in exchange for a job at Hogwarts. We got rid of the awfully musty wallpaper, including the black family tree, which I had noticed, had Scorpius magically added to it. I pretended to ignore the fact that both of our faces were scorched off, as well as Andromeda's, Tonks, Teddy's, and Sirius, faces.

I had torn down that specific bit of the wallpaper with my bare hands as opposed to using magic. It felt good to remove myself from the wall. I am my own person, and if I, and the person I love most, were blasted off of the family tree, then I don't want any part of it. I don't even want to think of the possibility that it was my mother who did it, the only Black that knows things recent enough to be driven to do so.

I want to think that when my father told me marrying Astoria was grounds enough to exclude me from the family, that my mothers look of disagreement was exactly what I thought: I'd like to think that she didn't agree with him when he said I'm no longer theirs. Of course, I'll never know, because I simply can't go back there. _Too much has happened within those walls._

We really re-did Grimmauld Place: cleaning from top to bottom, changing the gas lamps for electric lighting, replacing the old, worn carpet, and dusting off the piano, to which Harry said 'you should learn a tune or two". We finished re-painting the walls to not look a depressed dirty and dusty green, but rather a warm red. We got rid of the overhead chandelier, too- Harry said it was 'too much'. 

I dealt with pesky doxies that bit my hands when I first discovered them, and boggarts were hiding in many places around the house. There were also many valuable potions ingredients that had been left abandoned in drawers and cupboards. Speaking of which, Harry couldn't help clean the cupboard on the third floor. But, he was a great help in getting rid of the spiders residing in all sorts of hiding spots. The whole project took us five days with magic at our disposal.

I remember while cleaning, I heard a horrible cry from Scorpius two stories from the ground floor, and I raced over. Laying before him was my dead body. I was shocked still as I saw him eyes-red, crying and wailing, frozen and trembling in grief at my lifeless replica. When I realized it was a boggart, I got rid of it. I took nearly two hours to calm him down.

"Hey, Scor, it's okay, hey come here." I picked him up, allowing him to wrap his legs around my waist as I held him tightly. He hugged me as if I were a lifeline, burying his face into my shoulder where he continued to cry, letting loud gasps escape himself. I squeezed my eyes shut to avoid crying myself.

"Don't worry. I'm right here, dada's right here, Scor."

_ "Are you crying, Draco?" _

_ "N-no, father." _

_ "I thought so." _

I squeezed Scorpius, making sure he understood that I'm not going anywhere. I heard him sniffle, audibly trying to catch his breath as his little hands gripped the back of my shirt more tightly.

"Don't worry. Everyone is fine, everything is okay. I'm fine, you're fine." I gave him a small kiss on the forehead before resuming my original hugging position, swaying him from side to side like I used to when he was an infant.

"I'm not leaving you. What you saw wasn't real. I'm here, I'm with you. You're not alone."

He slept in the bed every night with Harry and I ever since, hugging me tightly. It was frightening to see his worst fear be something so... horrible... and real. It wasn't a monster, or even a doll, or losing a game. He's scared to lose me, and I wonder if it's because he lost his mother before he could even learn her name, and then proceeded to lose Maria eight years later, who, dare I say it, was a mother figure to him. _That's why he loved her so much,_ I figured, after one night that I'd stayed up just thinking. She really did treat him like her own, and now, she doesn't even know who he is.

————

The last two days before we moved, we packed my house up. Throwing away what we don't need, and transferring it to Grimmauld Place right then and there. I remember when Harry discovered my basement.

"You didn't tell me about this."

"I didn't think it necessary." I told him. I watched as he strolled through my collection- passing shadow boxes with items, shelves, cabinets, and desks.

"It's quite impressive." He said, then he saw my old potions books, and my Alchemy manuscripts. "You really have a knack for learning." Then he saw my shelves of potions and ingredients, and a few cauldrons. "I see you never really stopped making potions." I could see that through all of it, he was tense. I wasn't sure if it was my collection, my keeping it a secret, or something else.

Our first night in Grimmauld place, we didn't sleep, none of us. I allowed Scorpius to stay up with Harry and I. We sat in the drawing room on the first floor, drinking tea, and listening to the piano, which I enchanted to play soft music for us. Scorpius did eventually fall asleep on top of me, but Harry and I stayed up until the warm yellow stream of morning sunlight came through the grand windows.

The second night, we all went to sleep in the bedroom on the second floor, all of us together. Things were starting to settle, though We never mentioned what had brought us back in the first place, and Harry and I both knew that it was only a matter of time before everyone found out. It was the middle of the night, when I was woken from my much desired slumber in the quite comfortable and clean bed, because Harry's phone was ringing. _Who would call at this hour?_

"Hello?" I heard Harry mumble sleepily, clearly also having been woken. I watched as his eyes went wide, shooting up out of the bed, feet landing noisily on why white, crisp, tile floor as he ran out without another word.


	21. Chapter 21

—Ron POV—

I bolted out of bed at the sound of agonized screams coming from none other than my sister. Mind racing, I zoomed to the bedroom where she was sleeping. The lamp was on, and Ginny's face was screwed in pain, her breathing was labored.

"Gin, I'm right here. What's wrong?" I said, going over to the bed. I tried desperately to keep calm, yet worry was etched across my face.

"The baby is coming." She gasped.

"Okay. Okay, breathe. We're going to the hospital." I told her, keeping my voice as steady as I could, and reaching over to help her stand.

"Hermione, Hermione! Come quick!"

"Gah- please, don't scream in my ear." Hissed Ginny.

"Sorry." I replied quickly. Hermione came running into the room, calming when she realized what was happening.

"Oh, Ginny. I'll pack the hospital bag." She said, immediately grabbing a duffel bag and putting various items in it. Ginny screamed in pain, making me flinch slightly.

"It's okay Gin, let's go. I'll help you down stairs, and you can wait on the couch." She shook her head.

"Hermione." She breathed. 

"What?" I asked, confused.

"You're freaking me out, Ron. Please, let Hermione." She breathed, still in obvious and visible pain. I looked over at my wife, and she sighed, going over to us.

"Really Ron, you'd think to be more calm when this isn't your first time anymore."

"That doesn't make it any less serious!"

"Keep your voice down. Finish packing the bag, and call Harry. I'll be in the car with Ginny."

————

—Harry POV—

It's a boy.

I thought this occasion to be quite bitter sweet. She'd wanted a child for so long; she wanted a child with me. But instead, this happened.  
I guess a small part of us was stuck in the past, because getting to the hospital, I didn't hesitate in volunteering to help deliver the baby. And later, when Ginny asked for the room to just have us and the baby, she asked me to name him.

James Sirius. That's his name. I don't know why I agreed to name him without a second thought. And I don't know why it took almost no time for me to think of the name. It's almost as if some hidden crevice in the back of my brain was ready if the occasion occurred where Ginny and I had a child. But this isn't our child, is it? It was a child that came of a horrible circumstance. One that I was responsible for. This child wouldn't have a father unless I stepped up for it. And I understand the pain of not having a father figure.

When Ginny wrote his name in the birth certificate, she announced his name to everyone there. And they all bore faces of shock. I especially paid attention to Draco's face though. Draco, who's face went from shock, to confusion, and then painful understanding, all in the blink of an eye.

"Harry, a word." He whispered into my ear, before practically dragging me into the nearest single-stall restroom. When the door locked behind us I stared at him expectantly.

"Yes?" I asked, wanting to know what this was about.

"You... you named the child... after your father."

"...Yes?" I answered, unsure of where this was going.

"You delivered a child, then named him after your father... he's not even your child." He said, finally looking into my eyes, which held a glint of upset confusion in them. I gave him a blunt face, unsure of what exactly he was trying to say. He took a large breath.

"Harry... I- help me understand. Because, maybe I'm wrong." I nodded, puzzled and curious. "You-" he took another breath. "This... thing, that's happening, why are you taking the fatherly role? He's-" he took another deep breath. "Help me understand this, please?" He said, seeming irritated and tired.

"What is there to understand? I delivered James. There's no problem with that-"

"But there is." He said, frustration evident in his voice. "I understand the child has no father, but that doesn't mean you should be filling that role. Not only is it not your place to do so, you quite literally cannot be doing this. It's going to hurt you. You- you can't even take care of yourself. You couldn't take care of Teddy-"

"The baby is my responsibility Draco, don't you see? Ginny wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't for me." I interrupted, becoming agitated. "Besides, James needs a father figure, and that person was supposed to be me-"

"Oh like you and Ginny were ever going to get to that. Please, listen to yourself Harry. Also, Ginny getting raped was not your fault. And the fact that it resulted in a pregnancy is also not your fault! You have absolutely no obligation towards this child, Harry!" At this point, I was fuming.

"Are you serious, Draco? I have no obligation for a child that's basically mine?! Ginny and I technically aren't even divorced yet, the goddamn courts haven't processed it. The child has my last name, because who else's name would it have?!-"

"Maybe the Weasley name-" he began to shout.

"Don't interrupt me!" I said, feeling as my breathing became of minimal focus. "You know- everyone knows, it's my fault! I need to take responsibility for this. I need to help Ginny! I need to help raise James-"

"No, Harry! You don't! And you shouldn't! What happened was not your doing, and you cannot blame yourself for the outcome!"

"Maybe blaming myself for the outcome is the best thing I can do! Maybe taking care of James and Ginny is my way of making sure the guilt doesn't gnaw at my consciousness every fucking second!" I yelled. Suddenly everything was silent, and, with a nasty glare towards Draco, I left the bathroom, walking. I went past Hermione and Ron, past Ginny's room, and down the corridor . Down the elevator, and out the front of the hospital, where I just stood there, leaning against a column. _God I could kill for a drink._ I thought. _It would help me calm down_. I closed my eyes. _Stop. Now's not the time. Shove that away._ I told myself, finally becoming aware of how erratic my breathing was. I also became aware that I'd left my coat inside the hospital. And the cold front passing through meant it was quite chilly outside right now. I pushed that realization away though, focusing on my breathing. Which slowly became calm.

I flinched at the feeling of something over my shoulders. Glancing, I huffed, noticing Draco bringing my coat around me, before resting on the column beside me, closing his eyes with a sigh.

"You cannot take responsibility for this. It's not your fault. It's not your duty. And it's not good for you." He sighed again. And I fully understood just how tired his voice sounded. As though he no longer wanted to argue about this, or anything. As if these arguments were draining him, picking him apart from the inside. It made me feel guilty for being such a hard-headed git. I crossed my arms, head hung low.

"If I hadn't upset her so much the day I..." I took a shaky breath. "If I hadn't done what I did last October... she wouldn't have left for England, and this wouldn't have happened." I paused, taking in the silence that surrounded me and Draco. The silence that seemed strong enough to block out the cars honking and the sirens blaring in the property around us. To muffle the visitors crying and the doctors demanding.

"It's... almost impossible... to think that my attempt at making things better for everyone just started this, enormous disaster, affecting every corner of all of the people I care about..." I swallowed, thinking about Teddy, Ginny, Hermione, Ron, Draco, and even Scorpius. The fact that it _even_ affected him...

"If you had succeeded at what you tried doing in October, things would have been so much worse... every day I thank heaven and Earth, God, Merlin, and Salazar that I found you on time... I don't want to think about what would have been otherwise." Said Draco somberly.

"Whether you choose to live or not has an effect on people, Harry... and when you try to permanently erase yourself from the lives of people who hold you closely, it affects them... but what happened to Ginny is not because of you... I don't know how to make you understand that, Harry, but I need you to... please." I heard his voice crack, and I looked up for the first time in this conversation, seeing that he had silent tears running down his cheeks. I pushed off of the column, my coat falling to the ground, and leaned into him, wrapping him in a small hug. The kind that says _I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say. But I know you need comfort, and I can't give you the reassurance you need._


	22. Chapter 22

—Harry POV—

It's funny how the move happened so quickly, yet slowly at the same time. I'm not going to lie, ever since everything happened, Draco stopped hugging and kissing. He just plain stopped everything. It felt like being around the shell of him. The only times we hugged were both times when he had a breakdown. And we can't even be next to each other in bed anymore because Scorpius won't let him out of his sight ever since the boggart.

I haven't spoken to Draco about anything of significance, and he hasn't either. It's a silent sort of agreement we have, I guess. Today though, I'm going to break it. I'm going to break it because I'm selfish and needy and this week has just been bad. I haven't slept in months, and now the nightmares are starting to come back. One night I woke up and left to the bathroom, where I got myself through a panic attack. I've also been carrying my wand on me since we moved, just in case.

We haven't left the house once except for the day Ginny gave birth, and so far there's nothing about us flooding the papers, thank Merlin. There was however, an article about Ginny, and James Sirius Potter-Weasley. It's brought up questions, and Ginny is so tired of them asking why I'm nowhere to be seen after 'our' child was brought into this world- especially when every offer of help from me has been refused. She's staying with Molly again, and she's Owled me about how tiring it is, but how she wouldn't trade it for the world. How her family has been there for her like they never have- and that I should stop worrying about them.

I found Draco in the drawing room scanning the shelves for one of his new books, and I snaked my arms around his waist, resting my chin onto his shoulder and leaning into the comfort. I truly have missed Draco in all this time, and my mind has been no help to soothe the fact that is his recent lack of affection. I felt him turn around within my hold.

"Hi. Are you alright?" He asked. I moved my head to rest sideways on him.

"We haven't really hugged in a long time." I mumbled. "I miss you." I heard him sigh, bringing his arms down to hold me. The feeling was warm and inviting.

"I'm sorry... I've just been, preoccupied..."

"It's okay." I replied, swaying us slightly.

"How have you been?" He asked, I shrugged.

"What about you?" I replied. He sighed again, more deeply.

"I've been thinking..."

"What about?" I inquired.

"Scorpius... I'm wondering if he needs to see a healer. My facial expression went to one of confusion.

"What for?" I asked.

"Because of what happened with the Boggart... we have something called shock spells. You get them once a week until you're better-" My eyes widened and I let go of the hug.

"Are you mad?! That's like Muggle shock therapy. You can't do that to a child, you're basically numbing his brain over and you risk giving him... educational... problems."

"What?"

"You can't do that to him!" I explained, feeling exasperated.

"Relax, Merlin... I didn't know that." I calmed down a bit, seeing Draco deep in thought. "What do I do then? What happened... it-"

"What about Muggle therap-" I cut myself off. We can't associate with the Muggle World anymore. We stayed quiet for a few seconds.

"I've thought about risking it. But how do you explain that your child thought he saw his dead father, when his father never died? If you say he was seeing things, _they'll_ even think he's mad. I read about it in this book about Schizophrenia-"

"What?" I asked, completely unaware of what he was talking about.

"This disease that... you see things and hear things... It's in this book." He turned around, scanning the shelves then pulling out a large book titled _Losing Dad, Paranoid Schizophrenia: A Family's Search for Hope_

"This seems awfully depressing... why do you read these things?" I asked, growing concerned. I can last longer without his help. Right now, Draco needs me.

"I like to read- you know that. Besides, it's not what it seems. Basically, a father develops that problem and it gets so bad that he loses touch with reality." He shook his head. "But this isn't Scorpius's problem. We can't walk up to Muggles and say he's seeing things-" I cut him off.

"Draco, you're rambling, you're off topic, and you need to watch your breathing." I told him, aware that he was almost hyperventilating. "I never said to tell any Muggle Therapist what happened with the Boggart, or that Scorpius is seeing things. But maybe it would help him to just talk..."

"About what? His neighbor got obliviated and doesn't know who he is but he got attached to her after his mother died of a blood curse?!"

"Draco, breathe, listen to yourself!" He stopped, breathing quick and shallow. His gaze was cast downward and his eyes looked lost.

"We're going to figure this out. But you're thinking too much about it and it's driving you mad."

"How could you think _too much_ about your son?" He asked accusingly.

"You're reading into the situation too much. You're frustrated and overwhelmed and the more you think about it the less everything will make sense." I looked at his distant expression, before going to give him another hug.

"I need you to relax for me. Please?" I heard him suck in a breath, before shaking hands were brought to my upper back, and he leaned into me.

"Dada I'm done in the shower!" Scorpius came bounding down the stairs, and Draco immediately let go of me, putting on a mask of composure. I wanted to tell him so badly to send Scorpius to play in his own room for a while. Draco needs a break.

"I'm right here, Scor." He brought his arms out, allowing Scorpius to jump into his arms as he hoisted him up. I gave Draco a look, and he stared right back challengingly. I only now noticed his eyes were red and he had a greatly disheveled overall appearance. My expression fell.

"Scorpius, do you think you could go play in your room for a bit?"

"With dada?" He asked, looking at me from within his father's arms.

"Without him. I need to talk to him." Scorpius looked from me to Draco, and Draco remained with his sight on me, looking deadly.

"Dada, do I have to?" He asked Draco, looking slightly scared.

"No Scor, don't worry." Anger flared up within me.

"Fine! Just tear yourself apart then!" I told Draco sharply. I stomped all the way up the stairs to the third floor, finding an empty room, I slammed the door shut and turned the light on, revealing that this is the bedroom we turned into storage for Draco's potions and ingredients. I kicked the leg of a desk in frustration, before sitting down on the floor against a wall, head in my hands.

 _If Draco doesn't want me to help him, then fine. I'll leave myself out of the bloody mess._ My breathing was uneven as I huffed, mind churning with thoughts.

_It was kind of my fault, though. I obliviated Maria, I brought up the idea of Grimmauld Place. I let... somebody, some Muggle, learn everything about my life and publish it._

_I allowed the whole world to know my name._

Anger turned into panic, turned into frustration, turned into guilt. All I could do was fight myself to stay calm. A fight I ultimately failed.

Wood, a drawer, rummaging, feverish searching. Cold metal, a sharp tip, blood. Screaming, anger, a sinking ache in my chest, more blood. The hallway, a voice, a crash, a bed, and finally, darkness.


	23. Chapter 23

—Harry POV—

I woke up the next morning with a headache. I squinted because of the bright light coming in from the window. When I moved, I realized I was wearing short sleeves, and both of my arms were bandaged. I furrowed my brows, looking around to find Draco sitting on a chair next to the bed I was in. I reached over for my glasses, which were handed to me by him. Slowly, my blurred vision became clear, and I realized this wasn't the bed I'd been sleeping in since we moved.

"When did you start doing it again?" I turned in the direction of his dejected voice, but stayed silent, slightly taken aback by his question.

"I... what?" I blinked a few times, focusing on him. He still looked run-down and tired, as though he hasn't been sleeping either. I also noticed he was wearing the same pajamas as last night, and they almost didn't look slept in.

"You wouldn't just start again out of nowhere because of some small disagreement... when did you start hurting yourself again?"

I directed my attention to my arms, then I looked back at Draco.

"Did you...?"

"Yes, I fixed you up. Please answer the question." He said plainly. Piercing grey collided with green, and it took me a second to remember when exactly I hurt myself again.

"Since around my birthday..."

"Three weeks? You made that many marks in just three weeks?" He got up and ran his hands hands through his hair, before looking at me, then sitting back down.

"You promised you would talk to me, Harry... twenty fresh cuts? Six of them from last night... you should have gone to me." He said, frustration seeping through the cracks of his disheveled appearance.

"I couldn't... you've been so focused on Scorpius, I-I... I don't know. You need a breather and you won't let yourself take it-"

"Harry, what matters right now is you-" he said, his composure beginning to unravel. I felt a flare of irritation at how he was falling apart at the seams.

"No, Draco. Don't do that. Just because I had some sort of breakdown and I relapsed, doesn't mean anything. You need to talk to Scorpius about what he saw."

"Scorpius nor I are any danger to ourselves, Harry-"

"I'm not a danger to myself! I just slipped-"

"Well you 'slipped' so bad that you passed out." He roared pointedly. I shut up after that, leaving us in silence. It was after a bit that I heard him sigh and get up. I thought he was simply going to leave, until he held out a hand for me.

"Come on, let's make breakfast together." I looked up at him, as if I needed to make sure this was real. Then I took his hand and he helped me out of the bed gently. I examined the bandages on my arms and the small lines of old blood that had gotten through. _How do I not remember doing this? I mean, I remember, but I don't remember._

I felt a warmth being pressed against me and I leaned into it before realizing it was Draco giving me a hug. I returned it, closing my eyes tightly and feeling as though a boulder had briefly been lifted from my chest.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. He only pressed tighter. I heard a sigh come from him.

"I don't know why I didn't tell you." I finished. But I _do_ know why. He doesn't need my problems at the moment. He's tired and overwhelmed, and he probably hasn't had a single second to himself apart from when either he or Scorpius gets a shower. Ever since I started this entire disaster, he's been distant. And now with what happened to Scorpius, he's stuck in this endless cycle of having his son basically attached to him by the hip.

"It's okay... just tell me next time, please." I nodded into his shoulder. Soon enough the hug ended, and I only craved his touch more. I felt his fingers lightly lace through mine as he gently tugged my hand.

"Let's go." I followed him down without question until I realized: _Why isn't Scorpius on his heel?_

"What happened to Scorpius?"

"He's still asleep. It's a bit early out, and he didn't sleep well last night." Draco explained.

"He had another nightmare?" I asked.

"Yeah." We were still going down the stairs- the long, long stairs. And just before I reached the bottom, I spoke again.

"Do you think if we explain what a Boggart is, he'll feel better? And maybe give him sleeping draughts for the night?"

"I've been working on dreamless sleep for him, and I'm not sure about the Boggart... I guess what I should really ask him is why his Boggart is what it is." He explained.

"Well we need to start." I suggested. He kept walking, so I put my hand to his shoulder, softly indicating for him to stop.

"Hey," I said softly. He looked at me: "I can tell that you're different... since everything. Just, let me know how to help... I miss how you were." He gave me a puzzled expression.

"What do you mean? There's nothing different about me-"

"You don't seem to really be here. You also... we just... haven't been so... affectionate towards each other lately."

"Yes we have-"

"Not for any reason that wasn't utterly depressing." I stated plainly. He sighed.

"I'm sorry. I'm fine. I'll try to do better." A wave of anger came over me and I quickly stifled it.

"Don't... Just let me in. You're building all of these walls and I'll be damned if it doesn't remind me of what you were like in sixth year."

"I'm not like I was in sixth year-" He tried to pull away and I stopped him.

"This is exactly what I'm talking about, Draco." I searched his eyes for an entryway into his thoughts, his feelings. He yanked himself away from me, eyes showing frustration.

"It's not like sixth year. Do you know how many times I would stand off the edge of the Astronomy tower thinking about how easy it would be to jump? I'm not like that anymore. I can't be... I have Scorpius..." I felt my face pale when he mentioned that. For a second, I couldn't move, almost like an invisible force was keeping me in my spot.

"I didn't mean like that... I... you don't, feel that way anymore... right?" I asked, my voice becoming small. His expression softened as he looked to the floor, then into my eyes.

"No. I don't..." I nodded numbly. the sound of blood rushing through my ears was the only thing I could perceive for half a second.

"I didn't mean it like that..." I said again. "I meant... just, the stoic expressions, and that look of denial and determination you somehow get at the same time... and you just, you won't talk to me in the way that you used to. You don't tell me what's wrong... It almost feels like you're ignoring it."

"I- I'm not ignoring it... kind of; I just..." He stayed silent, gaze cast away, towards the bottom steps that we were still stood on.

"You're pushing it away. You can't do that. It's dangerous."

"I know." His jaw tensed, and I took that as my cue to ease him. I brought a tentative hand to his cheek, gently turning his face so we could look at each other in the eyes.

"You've helped me a lot, but you need to let me help you too."

"You have your own mind to deal with. I can't do that to you."

"Well sure you can." I said stubbornly. "Please?" I said with a much softer voice than before.

"Harry-"

"What if we help each other?" I suggested, cutting him off.

"I- we could... But what triggered yesterday anyway?"

"Stop changing the subject." I replied.

"It's not really a subject change, is it? You've been hurting yourself for upwards of about three weeks and you never went to me once-" My anger was no longer something to be contained, and my mind jumped:

"Because you had all of your bloody walls up! We couldn't talk about anything that wasn't about how to organize this place or make sure that we've removed all traces of ourselves in America! I hate it! You think and you exclude any sort of emotions when it matters because you're scared!" I shouted. The air around us hung at my nose stiffly, and Draco couldn't do anything but look at me.

After a bit, he finally did speak. "I fixed my mind onto the task at hand, allowing for a swift, organized, and efficient move without too much trouble. If I spent every second thinking about Scorpius, Skeeter, and the fact that I can't show my face around here without being called Death Eater scum, then we would still be in Muggle America, or maybe by now we would have landed ourselves in Azkaban for frolicking around and letting everyone know that Wizards aren't just some fictional rubbish from those stupid books!"

"Dada?" Both of our heads snapped into the upstairs direction, where we heard Scorpius calling for Draco.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a son to care for."

————

Scorpius had wet himself again, and Draco had to clean him and his sheets. I noticed that it's something Scorpius is quite embarrassed by. The nights when he does it, with short quick steps, and facing down, he'll go to the bathroom red-faced.

He was especially embarrassed the first time it had happened: I woke up when I felt his urine seep through the sheets of Draco's bed, and woke them both up, pointing out the stain, which was also on Scorpius' pants. He was worried because he 'didn't feel the pee'. Draco was confused as well, and it wasn't until I stepped in, saying I used to wet myself, that Scorpius calmed down.

"So it's okay? I'm not sick?" He asked.

"No. You're okay." I told him. Granted, I used to wet myself because I didn't have access to a bathroom at times and just got used to going in my sleep, or just in a far corner of the cupboard- but he didn't need to know that.

At around Midday, Scorpius asked Draco to go upstairs with him to find some toy with him, and I gave Draco a stern look. Apparently that look was all he needed, because he let out a sigh before telling Scorpius "Sure. But before that, can we have a quick chat?"

I left for that. It felt wrong of me to be there for something so personal- Something that had absolutely nothing to do with me, and absolutely everything to do with the two of them, and the last eight years they've had together.

Now, it's roughly eleven o'clock at night, and Draco had given Scorpius a dreamless sleep potion for the first time. I watched silently by the door as Draco tucked him in, assuring that everything would be fine, and that he'd wake up to a brand new tomorrow. He stayed sitting by Scorpius' bedside, stroking his hair until he was sure that he'd fallen fast asleep.

I left the area before Draco could find out that I was watching. In all honesty, I felt quite horrible for everything that was happening. Scorpius truly didn't deserve to have his only remaining parent dying as his worst fear, especially not at eight years old. I have to hand it to him for being a child of circumstance who has pulled through it for the most part, coming off as bright, energetic, and kind.

Now, we were laying in bed alone together for the first time in about a month, and I was a bit scared to make the first move and hug. We still really haven't been quite warm with each other since he put up those damned walls of his.

I don't know when I summoned the courage to curl up and bury myself into his side, allowing an arm to drape across his stomach and hold him tightly.

He returned the act by bringing his own arm around me, planting a small kiss onto the crown of my head. I let out a relieved, almost relaxed breath.

"I missed this... us." I whispered.

"Me too."


	24. Chapter 24

—Draco POV—

"Dada, can we go upstairs so I can find my puzzle book?" I heard Scorpius ask me. I answered, but not before I noticed Harry glare at me. The glare wasn't hateful though- it was concerned, and full of worry. I knew what his glare meant, and with silent resignation, I told Scorpius what I knew needed to be said.

"Sure. But before that, can we have a quick chat?" He looked at me and his eyes showed that he was curious to know what I was going to tell him. I sat down on the couch by the piano, patting the seat beside me. My periphery informed me that Harry had left the immediate area. I mentally thanked him.

"Scorpius, a lot of things happened recently, yeah?" He nodded. "And a lot is different now. We live somewhere new, somewhere with magic. Some people we know are gone... like Maria. And we've seen a lot of things we never thought we'd see in our lives. Yeah?" I made sure that he was following clearly. Meanwhile, my mind was reeling, trying to make sure I did this correctly. I was sure to observe his expressions and his behavior as I spoke.

"We know that what happened wasn't our fault?" He hesitated before nodding. "How have you been feeling, Scor?" He was silent for a moment. I saw him looking around- me, his lap, his hands, the bookshelf on the wall, the piano, the window. I allowed him to gather his thoughts, aware that this would be difficult for him. After all, I had gone through something similar with Astoria.

I say similar, but really, I threw myself into caring for Scorpius, and learning to live in the Muggle world. It wasn't until one night that I'd sent a four-year-old Scorpius to Maria's house, and when Maria brought him back later, I was in the middle of a crying session with myself. That's how Maria learned about Astoria having gotten ill and passing, and how I'd come here to raise Scorpius, among other things. I had of course recomposed myself before she saw me, but she knew. I don't know how, but she did. That was the night that Maria and I became more than well-acquainted neighbors. More than the woman who watched Scorpius when I needed, who refused pay. I snapped out of my daze when I realized Scorpius had still not answered me, instead staring down at his hands, which were resting on his lap.

"Scorpius?"

"I miss her. She was fun, and she taught me new things, and she knew kids as old as me." I stayed silent, making sure that he was done speaking before I continued.

"Okay. How does that make you feel?"

"Sad. Mad. Why did we have to leave? Why couldn't we tell her to keep it a secret?" He looked up at me, and his expression told me I couldn't keep it to myself anymore.

"It was more than just Maria. Somebody wrote books about us and our magic. It's too dangerous for us to live with Muggles anymore. We can't tell _everybody_ to keep it a secret, Scor." We held eye contact until he broke it, looking back down.

"I feel sad too. Maria was a great person." I said, hoping to show that he wasn't entirely alone in this. "I would have told her to keep it a secret if it was only her." His eyes quickly came to mine before going back down, then back up.

"Who did that to us?" He said, looking upset. I sighed. "I don't know. Somebody. She knew a lot of things, this person." I wasn't going to indulge in the mystery of Joanne Rowling- according to Hermione, that's her name. I don't know if she's a witch, or if she's a Muggle with way too much information and a tendency to tell everyone in the worst way possible. Having published nine books about the Wizarding World, 3 of which were just Muggle versions of Wizarding books. A Muggle copy of _The Tales of Beedle_ _the_ _Bard_ , a Muggle copy of my first year Care of Magical Creatures textbook, and a Muggle copy of _Quidditch Through the Ages_.

When Hermione told me- shortly before we moved- I went to the bookstore down the street and I spent the rest of that day reading- skimming through everything. Harry and I had argued when I told him I was going to look through all of these books, though the argument really branched into an overall complaining about everything, and he just went to his house. I didn't think much of it until he wasn't back the next day. I went and got him after that, and we calmly discussed everything. 

"You seem upset, Scor."

"Because it's not fair!" He complained.

"I know it isn't... it's good to recognize and understand your feelings, and it's perfectly fine to be upset. You have good reason, and I'm here for you and I'll help you work through it." I reasoned. "Now, another thing I wanted to ask you about, was that day when you thought I had gone." His expression darkened deeply.

"Do you know why you saw that?" He shook his head, avoiding eye contact- still with a glum expression.

"There's a type of magical creature called a Boggart. They change shapes so they can try to look like your biggest fear. What you saw that day was a Boggart. And I think we need to discuss why it turned into what it did." I said simply.

"Is there a way to get rid of it?" He asked, avoiding what I said.

"Yes, there is- with magic. You will learn about it in school. But can I ask you why your biggest fear right now... is me dying? Do you think about that a lot?" He nodded somberly.

"Can I ask you why?" There was a lump in my throat. I enjoyed this conversation as much as a cat enjoys bathing, but I couldn't put it off anymore. I reached out to Scorpius, putting a comforting hand on his upper arm.

"What does a Boggart turn into for you?" He asked. I brought my hand down, thinking- remembering.

"When I was younger, it would turn into this... evil man from the past. You'll learn about him before you get to school. I have books about it that you can read before you start at school. You're just a bit young right now."

"What is it now?" I thought for a moment. "If anything happened to you, or anyone we care about... I'm not scared of that man anymore- his name was Voldemort, but nobody liked to say his name. Now you: Why do you think about me dying so often? Why are you afraid for that to happen?" I know it felt like a stupid question, but no eight-year old child should be so genuinely worried that they will lose their father like that.

"Because... everyone is gone. Mummy died, and now Maria is gone and I can't talk to them and they can't talk to me... and-and... I don't want you to leave too. I don't want you to get sick like mummy did. I don't want someone to make you forget me." He sniffled, face going a tint of pink, like his eyes.

"Come here, Scor." I opened my arms, allowing him to put me in a tight squeeze.

"I'm never leaving. My memory isn't going away, and I'm not going to get the same sickness mummy had. Do you understand?" I felt him nod into my shoulder, and I held him just a little bit more tightly.

After a few moments, we let go of each other, and I wiped his tears.

"You will never need to worry about me leaving, okay? I'm here to stay, always." he nodded again.

"Hey, what have your dreams been about?" I asked, realizing how much more there was to discuss.

"Everyone dying or disappearing or..."

"Yes, Scorpius?"

"Mummy coming back and spending the day with me..." He whispered, keeping his head down. "Then she leaves and says she can't come back." I stayed silent, allowing his words to sink in. Soon, he continued to speak. "One time I went to her and we played in the clouds. But you weren't there. You stayed down on the ground, and I never saw you again." He was softly crying again.

"Do those dreams make you feel sad?" I asked, trying to keep my expression calm and gentle while my head was spinning. He's practically had dreams where everybody dies, including himself. _That,_ I thought. _That made fear shake me to my core._

"I don't know... yeah. I want mummy back but I know she can't come back. You told me that a lot already... but, I don't want mummy back if it means I can't see you." He sniffled again. We sat still for a while.

"Do you maybe want to say hello to her?" He looked up at me questioningly.

"But she's gone forever..." He said in disbelief, chest slightly heaving from his crying, throat sourcing scratchy.

"She is gone physically, but, and I've told you this before, she's still in our hearts, and in our minds. Her and Maria."

"But we can't say hi to Maria-"

"We can't, but we can say hi to mum." I told him, wondering if this was the right approach, even if it's too late to retract my words.

"How?"

"We can go see where she's buried. We can sit down next to the stone with her name on it, and just talk." I explained.

"Will she talk back?" He queried. I swallowed thickly- knowing the answer all too well.

"No. But," I thought for a second. "I believe she can hear us... Do you maybe want to go do that?" He hesitated for a second, looking at me, unsure. Then, he nodded.

"Okay. When do you want to do that?" He stayed quiet, tilting his head up and to the side in consideration.

"Tomorrow?" After a second, I nodded.

"Okay. We'll go say hi to her tomorrow. You like that idea?" I asked in confirmation.

"Yes." He said, nodding simultaneously.

"Okay, good. Now, I've been working on something for you to try," He looked at me, by now, the only tears on his face were dried. "It's something to help you sleep without waking up." I clarified. Do you want to try that?" He nodded.

"I'm going to tuck you into your own bed tonight. Okay? And you're going to try it. And if you wake up, I'll be just down the hall. Does that work for you?" I wanted to be sure he understood that if he still wanted to sleep with me, he could. "Okay."

"Now, I think a hug is in order- don't you?" He collided with me instantly, and I held him tightly. "I love you Scorpius, and I'm always going to be here... Now let's get you some water to drink."


	25. Chapter 25

—Draco POV—

"I missed this... us." I heard Harry whisper.

"Me too." I told him. I took to playing with his hair. I don't know why I do it, really. His hair is just so soft. Especially on the days when he washes it, which was today. After a few quite comfortable minutes, relishing in the idea of just being able to hold Harry again, he moved up, so we could see eye to eye. I let him bring his hand to my hair, brushing it back, before letting his hand simply rest by my face. I closed my eyes, bringing our foreheads together. I didn't realize he had moved to kiss me until I felt the familiar tingle spread across my cheeks and throughout my body. I immediately kissed back.

Things may have gotten a bit... urgent. We really hadn't done a single thing in an entire month. Every single second of it was pure bliss, and for a while, I had entirely forgotten about Scorpius and our conversation. I had entirely forgotten about Harry's health; I had completely forgotten about Daily Prophet. It was just us, and it was perfect.

Thankfully, the next morning, Harry did not protest the idea of visiting Godric's Hollow Cemetery. Scorpius slept soundly last night, and although he wet himself again, it was no setback. Though I must admit, it's worrying me slightly. I need to find books and do research on that. Hopefully, he doesn't need a healer.

We got there, noticing the area was quiet as usual. The Seven Swans was not very busy, and most people were not home. This didn't pose as surprising; after all, it's a Thursday. I asked Harry to give me and Scorpius a few moments, and he obliged, deciding to go visit his own parents' graves on the other side of the cemetery.

"Go on, you can sit right by her." I told Scorpius, gesturing towards her gravestone. This is the first time I visit her since she's passed, and I'm glad to be able to do it with Scorpius. I sat down next to him, in front of her. With a swift movement of my wand I cleaned it up, and then I conjured her some flowers, placing them next to some others she had there- probably from her sister, but I wouldn't know.

I lost contact with Astoria's parents because they, like my parents, did not approve of our changing views on blood supremacy. Her sister supported us through our marriage, but when Astoria left, Daphne stopped speaking to everybody. We never spoke to or saw each other again.

"Would you like to go first?" I asked Scorpius, He looked up at me before redirecting his attention to Astoria's name, engraved on the headstone.

"Can you start? I don't know what to say." He said honestly.

"Okay." I responded. "Hello..." I paused for a second. Maybe I needed this as much as Scorpius. There are too many things I haven't told her. "It's me, and Scorpius... our son. We just decided we should pay you a visit. We hope everything is going well up there..." I stole a glance towards the sky.

"Go ahead and say something, Scor." I said, looking at Scorpius.

"Hi mummy. It's me, Scorpius." I put my hand on his shoulder. "When dada told me I could talk to you I thought it was a joke... but he doesn't make jokes. How are you?" There was a brief silence. "Dada used to show me pictures of you and me and him. But I was tiny like a little bean. You were real pretty though. What's it like where you are? Do you have friends?" More silence.

"Dada is really good at teaching me stuff. We read and write and do maths almost every day. I'm also learning about The Tales of Beedle and Bard. Dada let me read the same one that he read when he was my age. It's old and it has his name on it in big letters." I smiled at my son's words, taking in his innocent and childlike expression as he spoke to his mother's headstone.

"Did you know that Dada says I'm smarter than he was when he was my age? He says that he was one of the best students at his school. He says that when I turn eleven, I'm going to go to the same school as him and you. Dada, what else do I tell her?"

"Anything you'd like to say, or, you can also say things in your head, and she'll hear it." I replied to him.

"Can I tell her about Teddy?" He asked.

"Of course." I told him simply.

"I have a friend. His name is Teddy. He can make himself look like anyone or anything. We have a lot of fun together. We also talk a lot. We're a lot the same. He's a lot older than me. He's already eleven years old."

—Harry POV—

When I reached my parents, I noticed they had fresh flowers, and my first thought was that it may have been Ginny, or Ron and Hermione. A soft smile came across my face.

"Hi mum, dad. I'm visiting today. Things are absolutely mad out here. I wonder what you would think of it all, really. I bet things are nice and simple where you are now. Everything is warm, the sun is shining, and somehow I still manage to feel cold most nights. My mind brings up so many questions that it gives me headaches." I brushed my hand over their names. "I'm visiting you while Draco and his son talk to Astoria Greengrass. I bet you've met her by now up there..." I looked around to see Scorpius in the distance, sitting next to Draco and talking. "Sometimes, I wonder if Draco doesn't love me because his heart will always belong to her... We never talk about it, and I haven't the slightest idea if they even cared about each other that deeply... but sometimes I wonder. Then I force myself to remember that she's passed away, and that she was important to him, no matter if it was an inseparable love or not. Death hurts. Especially when you care about the person that's gone. I think that's why I don't mention it." I took a breath.

"I don't think I mention it because I understand death. And I know that whether what I think is true or not, it's probably the most insensitive thing I could ever dare to ask him. And I care about him, and I value our relationship too much to cross that boundary. She's gone, and he's moved on. He's told me that much." I took a moment to admire the purple flowers.

"You would love his son. He's really quite the happy boy. He's also bloody brilliant. I... I hate knowing that I affected that. He hasn't been himself lately... neither of them, really. I still can't believe how much Draco has changed, mum. He really isn't the bloody sodding git from our childhood- really. I... I think I love him. I can't say that though. Not yet... I hope all is well for you up there. I hope that you all are having fun, laughing and smiling. All of you. Everyone." I head a swirl and a pop, and swiftly turned my head. _Somebody is here._

I looked around, seeing no one I didn't recognize. Draco and Scorpius were still sat by Astoria's grave, and they were the only people I could find at all. I heard what sounded like a rapid chirping, and a tick. I looked around, spotting a swish of blueish-black. My eyes widened in realization as I sprung to my feet, pointing my wand out, watching as a blue and white light blasted from the tip, causing the small creature to grow. I came face-to-face with white curly hair, a green coat, and pointed glasses.


	26. Chapter 26

—Harry POV—

"Colloshoo! What did you hear?" My vision was a blur as I approached the figure who was now unable to move those horribly long legs from their spot against a picket fence thanks to my Stickfast hex. I brought my wand to the woman's throat.

"What did you hear?!" I spat. I didn't care that half of Godric's Hollow is Muggle. I didn't care if people saw me pointing my wand threateningly at Rita Skeeter's throat. She began wriggling around, trying to get out of the way, but she barely got a centimeter past before I gripped her blazer, forcing her to stay in front of me.

"Oh, nothing- only your heartfelt conversation with dear old mum!" She smiled a nasty smile, feigning innocence. I had to resist the urge to punch it clean off her face. A sideways glance told me she now had out her enchanted notepad and quill- writing. I swallowed the unease growing in my stomach. I should have been more careful. We shouldn't have left the house.

Movement off to the side, and I noticed Draco out of Skeeter's sight, trying to usher his son behind him.

"What did you hear?" I asked for a final time through gritted teeth. "What did you see?"

"Well I'm sure the world would be delighted to know that The Boy Who Lived is back! I'm not so sure about the Death Eater caring for the son of-" She looked side to side, then leaned in, her sickly stale, warm, dry breath tickling my ear. I wanted to throw up. "He Who Must Not Be Named." She gave a look of fake intrigue, before she turned herself back into a beetle, flying away with an irritating buzz.

Draco stayed staring straight into my soul from his distance before approaching me in distress.

"What did she say?" He asked. I swallowed thickly, her presence still felt, sending shivers throughout my person, making everything just so uncomfortable and itchy.

"Not here." I whispered, suddenly paranoid. I grabbed onto his forearm and he, quickly realizing what I was about to do, held onto Scorpius, and with a twist and a whir, we were in 12, Grimmauld Place.

"Harry-"

"Homenum Revelio!" I said, pointing my wand upwards throughout the house. Nothing happened. After that, I began to put up an intruder charm, walking around the edges of the house, muttering the words at nauseum. I had to keep the ever-growing pit in my stomach down though. I ignored Draco and Scorpius, making sure I covered the perimeter of the house up and down. My mind was spinning to the point of numbness, and I was shaking. I went to the next floor up, finding the nearest outer wall and continuing my rushed, alarmed chants. I was swiftly yanked by the shoulder from this inner world I felt myself falling into, and was faced with Draco. My breathing was ragged- I just noticed.

"Harry. Stop, breathe, listen to me. What is going on? What did the nosy, insolent bitch say?! You not answering me makes me more worried, please!" I slightly, subconsciously drew back when he raised his voice, remaining in my place overall.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"Just help me finish putting up the wards." I said, giving a cold, hard stare. 

"Harry, you're not the only person she affects!"

"Then bloody help me finish or leave me alone!" I turned back around, trembling. _Just say the words._ They wouldn't allow themselves to pass my lips. When I heard Draco's footsteps receding- angrily muttering "I'll start the upper floors"- was when I broke down, heart battering against my heaving chest.

_What is she going to write? What have I unknowingly admitted to her? Who have I put in danger? How long do I have until I can't walk down the street without being swarmed by reporters and journalists?_

I put myself in the nearest bedroom. Everything is swaying, my clothes are itchy, everything is itchy. My nausea had risen from my stomach to my chest, keeping me with an overwhelming lack of oxygen, or so I felt. My thighs began to ache. I brought myself to the floor. My vision was now spotty, all I could hear was static, and the nausea was not leaving me. I forced an enormous breath into myself. It helped, but not enough. I felt faint. I'm struggling to keep myself conscious. I heard a thump, followed by an acute rush of air, and something on my arms, something warm, but I couldn't tell what it was.

I turned my head over, making me more dizzy. Tears were pricking at my eyes, worsening my already impaired vision. _Don't cry. Hold it back._ I could just barely make out pale features. Purple cloth, and denim. I swallowed. I can't speak- If I do, I'll only throw up. I brought myself forward, trying to stand. I felt something stabilize me and more muffled sounds. I opened my mouth to say 'bathroom', but it resulted in a gag. My eyes were streaming slightly, and I'm still shaking. Everything surrounding me is fuzzy. I knew I was moving because with each vague outline of a scenery change, my head pounded once more. When my vision ceased to hold varying arrays of browns and I was met with plain white, I couldn't hold it anymore, and with a heave, what I'd eaten for lunch was gone. Another heave, and I felt my breakfast leave me.

As soon as I was done, the brick in my chest was slightly less heavy, and my throat was hollow and burning. My eyes felt wet still, but I was keeping it at bay. I could feel my heartbeat again. It was rumbling to the beat of a bird's fluttering wings, and I could feel less blood rushing past my ears, unclogging my hearing. The static I had heard was replaced with silence; with exception of my open mouthed breathing and my heartbeat. Though it's possible I was the only one who could hear that.

I felt something warm going up and down my back in miniature circles, stopping every few seconds, and then starting again. I leaned backwards, feeling absolutely disgusting. _I've gone and done it again. I'm letting my body get the best of me. I'm letting my mind leave me. I'm letting myself wander._

When I felt the cool concrete of a wall against my back, I closed my eyes, letting out a large sigh. I heard the toilet flush, but I knew I hadn't flushed it. I heard a soft rhythmic thud going away, then coming back, and a piece of thin, smooth glass was pressed against my lips. I drank grateful amounts of the water, but It only took my dirty feeling and washed it down to my gut. I was still itchy- Incredibly. I felt goosebumps come across me, and I twitched. _Don't do it. Don't scratch. You went by one day, you can survive one more._ My hearing became clogged again as I felt a heat and a blood-rush to my face, surely making me go red. I held my breath. _Don't cry._ I twitched again. Before hugging myself, my watered eyes still shut. I heard a muffled voice come through to me, but I couldn't make it out. My head hurt.

 _Every time that things seem to finally calm down, I'm thrown another circumstance. I make something else happens. I hurt more people._ My sleeves were now rolled up.

 _I'm finally recovering from my suicide attempt, then I get a letter from Dudley about Christmas._ My arms suddenly felt warm.

 _Draco and I are happy, then I obliviate Maria._ There's a warm, thick wetness under my fingernails.

 _We're living a quiet life in Grimmauld Place-the reporters haven't discovered and pestered us yet- and Then Rita Bloody Skeeter finds me while I'm just peacefully trying to pay respects to my parents._ There were harsh hands pulling my arms away from something, and I let out a strangled cry, clenching my fists.

"Stop! _Stop_... How are you so bloody strong?" I looked next to me towards the voice I'd heard, and for the first time, I noticed Draco was there. _How long has he been there?_ I let out another cry. I simply can't hold it in anymore. "When I tell you to _stop scratching yourself_ and I try to physically pull you away, you need to _listen!_ "


	27. Chapter 27

—Harry POV—

"Stop! _Stop_... How are you so bloody strong?" I looked next to me, and for the first time, I noticed Draco was there. How long has he been there?

I let out another cry. I simply can't hold it in anymore. "When I tell you to _stop scratching yourself_ and I try to physically pull you away, you need to _listen_!"

I looked down at my arms to find I'd re-opened all of my most recent wounds. I looked at Draco, and I noticed he was crying as well. He brought his knees to his chest, and his hands were pressed against his face in what looked like pain. I noticed a small stain on the sleeve of his deep purple shirt.

I closed my eyes. I just want to get lost and forget about everything. I folded my arms and rested them on my knees, bringing my head down. I felt my tears drip and fall. There's no point in fighting it anymore. I felt my shoulders move up and down with my sorrows. _I'm sorry._ I thought to myself. _I'm sorry I have to be such a disaster._ I sucked in a breath, and soon I felt Draco lean into me, sniffling.

"Please, please... just talk to me. Don't do this to yourself." I heard him whisper. "Don't do this to me." I cried harder. I swear I don't mean to hurt anyone but myself. I don't mean to hurt Draco... But here he is, crying because of me- again.

————

Hours had passed. I didn't eat dinner because I still felt sick. Draco had already tucked Scorpius into bed and had given him another dreamless sleep potion. Now, I was sitting on the bed fiddling with my sleeves, which were falling over my hands. I felt the bed shift as Draco sat down in the bed with me. I didn't dare speak- I couldn't. I haven't really spoken at all since what happened. I just didn't want to say the wrong thing at the wrong time.

"The Prophet was Owled to us by Hermione. She's furious... I am too. She said that Skeeter was supposed to be banished from the Wizarding World after fifth year. There are Aurors trying to find her under the charge of being an unregistered animagus." Said Draco. My jaw tensed.

"I... I think you should... read the article. I know it's difficult, I... I don't know what to do. She's making old rumors about Scorpius re-surface, and she's tying it to new ones... about- about you." He said. My throat was still a sort of irritated, so I stayed still, acknowledging his presence and words without any sort of visual proof.

"Would you like me to... bring it up? We could..." Before I realized what I was doing, I was shaking my head minimally.

"No?" He asked. I shook my head again. "Okay... just know... I don't think it's going away soon. Uhm... just, she's targeting us, and I think it's best we leave the house as little as possible. She doesn't know where we're staying. We should be safe here." I nodded numbly.

"Are you going to say anything? Agree? Disagree?" I didn't give any indication of an answer. "Can I ask you something?" He asked. I nodded.

"What's been triggering your self harm?"

After what felt like an eternity, I looked up for the first time since he'd come into the room. All I could do was look him in the eyes with a vacant expression.

"It's just... everything... I guess." I told him in a soft, hoarse, defeated voice.

"Why haven't you been talking to me about your thoughts?" He asked.

I shrugged. I don't think I want to tell him yet. It seems we both decided to reside into a laying position at the same time. Now we were both just, looking at each other. I wasn't sure what to call the silence- concerned, stunned, confused, deflated.

"I'm here when you're ready to talk. But promise me-" he closed his eyes tight. " _Promise me,_ you will tell me the next time you get the urge." He opened his eyes again. "You don't need to explain anything. Just say 'I want to hurt myself.' And I will help you. Okay?"

Slowly, I nodded.

"No. Say it. I need to hear you say it out loud." He said with a wavering voice. My throat closed up and for a second, I didn't do anything to help it. I didn't want to respond, to give him false hope. It was more than a moment before I responded, and I was surprised that he didn't urge me to answer, just staying by me quietly, looking intently, patiently waiting for me to answer him.

"I promise."

As Draco pulled me into a hug, I couldn't help but feel bad. _How many times have I promised the same thing, only to let him down again? Why does he still have faith that I'll be able to tell him?_ I felt his warmth leave me.

"Hey... don't cry. Look at me. What's wrong?" He asked.

"Why do you have so much faith in me?" I felt his hand come to my face, wiping the tears I didn't realize I had allowed to fall.

"Because I know you can do it. If anyone can, it's you. You're strong, you've made it this far, I know that you can keep going. When you feel the urge, I need you to stop, think about it, and come to me." He paused for a moment, seemingly calculating his next words. "I want you to get better, and I know you want to get better too. Let's work towards that- together." I sniffled, bringing our foreheads to touch. I've found it can bring me at least a slight comfort. Really any time we're close I feel more comfortable. After a span of slightly relaxed, and incredibly welcome silence, I was poked in my side, where I am incredibly ticklish. My lips curved into the slightest of smiles as my reflexes pushed me away- I closed my eyes.

"There's that smile of yours." I head him say. Soon, I was met with the soft warmth of his lips on mine, and I the only thing I could think to do is bring our hands together and squeeze three times while kissing back. He squeezed my hand back.

"We'll do it together." I nodded.

"Together."


	28. Chapter 28

—Teddy POV—

"No. I want Uncle Harry." I heard a sigh, and I stubbornly kept my head facing my shoes, indignantly tapping in a rapid fashion. My eye, swollen enough to impair my vision, was throbbing to a numbing beat.

"Edward Lupin, you need to tell me why you let that happen!" I suddenly stood up, face to face with Andromeda.

"I told you no!" I froze, realizing I'd just snapped at her, and retreated, sitting back down on the chair I was previously sitting in.

"I didn't mean to snap." I mumbled, fiddling with my sleeves. A strand of sandy blond hair fell in front of my face as I bowed my head down in shame. "Sorry..." I heard her huff before the receding click of her thick heels engulfed the echoing tiles of the house. After a few moments I heard her clear her throat and I looked up at her. She was holding a long expression with stubbornly unshed tears and a bowl of floo powder.

"Go on, if you won't speak to me you need to speak with someone. And if that someone is your godfather, then so be it." I stood timidly, taking the bowl from her hands, which retreated to cross her chest and stay there.

After a second of thought, I put the bowl down, giving her a chaste hug. One that she returned before we both parted just as soon.

"I promise... I'm alright... thank you." I quickly got the floo powder and made my way over to the fireplace. Before stepping in, I heard the echo of her worn voice bouncing off the pearl-white walls.

"I love you, Teddy. Your parents would be proud." I gave her a curt nod, grabbing a fistful of powder and stepping in.

"12, Grimmauld Place." I threw it towards my feet, and felt as the warm familiar rush of green flames engulfed me, whisking me away. When the flames died down, I was met face to face with Draco and Scorpius.

"Teddy!" Scorpius shouted with glee. He leapt from the table, bounding towards me as I left the premises of the fireplace, his 50-piece puzzle long forgotten. I was smashed into a hug that I returned with a smile.

"What's up, Scor?" I said, ruffling his white-blond hair.

"I was making a puzzle- what happened to your eye?" He asked curiously. I subconsciously raised my hand to touch the tender skin below my eye, flinching slightly.

"Don't touch it- Hi Teddy. What are you doing here?" I heard Draco speak, coming close as he towered over me, taking my face in his hands and inspecting the injury. After a few seconds I heard him mumble "I should have a salve for that." He cleared his throat, stepping back.

"How are you? What happened? Do you want me to get Harry?" He said. Through my half-closed, throbbing eye, I could make out that he was looking at me confused- of course, they weren't expecting visitors.

"I-" I shifted nervously in my spot. "Can you get Uncle Harry?" He nodded.

"Stay with Scorpius, I'll be back."

"So?" Asked Scorpius expectantly.

"It was nothing, I just got hurt." I said with a chuckle. "How has everything been? We haven't really spoken since a few days after your dad's birthday." I remembered that day clearly. We'd played Gobstones all day, which I'd brought from my house. I remember when Draco saw me pull the game out of my bag.

 _"Please do play that outside so the smell can't settle into the house."_ He'd said, which made me laugh. Scorpius didn't though, because he didn't know how Gobstones worked. I taught him how to play, and soon enough, I was being squirted in the face with putrid smelling liquid more often than him. I smiled at the memory.

"You need to come over more often so we can play games!" He said, I nodded in agreement.

"You mean so I can destroy you at Gobstones?" We both began laughing at that.

"But I'm better than you!" He exclaimed.

"You just had a lucky day." I retorted. "What have you all been up to?" I inquired. "A bit has happened since then, hasn't it?" By then we had both completely settled down.

"Yeah... is that why you never came over?" He asked, looking at me with those big eyes he gets whenever he's curious. I tried for my expression to not falter.

"Uncle Harry had Owled us saying that things were a bit busy, and that you all would be moving here." I didn't mention the newspapers because I don't think he knows... of course I've been keeping up to date. I hate to say it, but the rumors about Scorpius, Draco, and Uncle Harry were taking priority in Rita Skeeter's mind, making my name stay out of her papers for a while, and for that I was glad. Just because I wasn't in the paper so much anymore, didn't mean the kids wouldn't still make fun of me, hence my eye, but seeing Scorpius bounding with energy and the same childlike innocence that I had before moving here, told me he didn't know what they were saying: That Draco isn't really his dad.

"Yeah. Two weeks ago I saw my mum though!" I gave him a look of confusion. "I saw where they're keeping her. I gave her flowers." He continued. It took a second for me to realize he visited the cemetery. I nodded in understanding.

"That's nice."

I know that the rumors are rubbish, especially because I've had my fair share of codswallop articles about me and who my father was. But I hear the kids my age whispering. They're scared, and they don't want to meet him. I got tired of it after a week of nonstop papers being published theorizing that Uncle Harry had turned evil and was aiding Draco in raising Scor to be the next Voldemort. I showed up to the park and confronted them. It didn't help though when the next day had a headline _'MALFOY RAISING VOLDEMORT'S SON WITH WEREWOLVES FOR FRIENDS'_

That was the first time my name reappeared in the Daily Prophet since his rumors started. I was snapped out of my daze by the sound of descending footsteps, and looked over to see Draco coming down the stairs, followed by Uncle Harry.

"Good Merlin what happened to your eye?" Uncle Harry said, coming towards me. He did the same thing as Draco- taking my face in his hands and inspecting the grey-purple bump throbbing under my eye.

There is one thing that Rita Skeeter has published that wasn't a lie. It's that Uncle Harry and Draco are together. Except she made it seem a lot... worse. She says that it's because they are united by the shared interest of having an uprising of Voldemort. Every article ends with the same question in different words. _'What has happened to the Golden Boy?'_

I've been reading a lot about the battle and my parents and Uncle Harry and the Malfoy family and what happened the year I was born. I keep thinking how so many years later nobody stops talking about it. I give it to the fact that nothing ever happens here. This makes people like Rita Skeeter stir the pot.

"Teddy, are you alright?" I blinked a few times.

"What?"

"You were in a bit of a daze." I heard Uncle Harry say. "Well... Draco said you wanted to talk? Do you want to possibly go upstairs?" I nodded, remembering why I was here. Andromeda kept insisting that I tell her why I would allow those boys to give me a black eye. I only want to talk to Uncle Harry though.


	29. Chapter 29

—Teddy POV—

"So? How are you? And how on earth did you get that black eye?" I sat down on Uncle Harry's newly made bed next to him and gave a sigh.

"It's not important really. Andromeda said I had to talk about it and I wouldn't tell her, so she let me go to you." I explained simply.

"So, you did not want to tell Andromeda?" I shook my head.

"She wouldn't get it. You get it."

"Okay... and how exactly did you get a black eye?" I took to looking at the curtains on the window, that were a lot cooler than the conversation I'm having right now.

"We went to get my school books for Hogwarts- I'm leaving in a week- and after I'd gotten my Potions textbook, I was walking to find Andromeda who was getting me my owl, and the same kids, they just, cornered me and they..." I gestured towards my eye. I looked at Harry who just nodded, looking like he was thinking about it.

"So... is this the first time that kids have beat you up?" I shrugged. No, but what does it matter?

"Teddy?"

"I mean, not really, but so what?"

"What do you mean 'so what'? You have to fight back- why didn't you fight back?"

"Because-" I gave another shrug.

"You let them do this to you?" He tilted his head, looking straight at me. It made me uncomfortable. I mumbled something- I didn't even know what I was saying.

"What?"

"Because then they get scared I'll kill them!" I blurted out, covering my mouth afterwards.

"Why on earth- is this all because of the rumors?"

I raised my shoulders. "I don't know, probably."

"Teddy... you need to defend yourself-"

"What did you do?" I asked, wanting to know.

"What?"

"What did you do when everyone believed that you were crazy because of her?" It seems he wasn't ready to answer that because he didn't say anything at first.

"I didn't really have any friends at the time. Even Ron was mad at me."

"But what did you do?"

"I ignored them... it hurt, it sucked, but I ignored them... you know... I have more experience with this when you think." I was confused. I know he gets the rumors and stuff. But that's it, right?

"When I was at Muggle school, at your age, I was constantly tormented by my cousin and his friends. I'm no stranger to bruises and shiners." He offered a meek smile, which made me laugh a little.

"What did you do?" I asked, eager to see a solution to what was happening.

"I ran, I got in trouble, I never stopped them... you have a chance now to stand up to them. Show them that you won't take what they're doing. Tell them to leave you alone with a brave face. If you want, even fight back. And if they try to get you in trouble at school, you Owl me and I'll show up to defend you." I kind of sat there, hoping that 'stand up for yourself and tell them to go away' wasn't his only answer.

"Are you alright Teddy?" After a bit of us staring at each other, I stood up to leave. He doesn't get it.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Th-this was a mistake, you didn't-" I sighed. "Just, whatever. It's not- that's not what I meant." I turned around to leave, head towards the floor, but was stopped by a firm, yet gentle hand on my shoulder.

"Ted, I know that it's not what you want to hear, and that it can be tough standing up to bullies. But I know from experience that if you don't do that, you're going to feel worse than you already do." I looked up at Harry, seeing a look in his eyes like he was begging.

"What does it matter anyway? I tell them to go away and they do something else and I get hurt again and they keep saying things and you weren't there for me before so how do I know you won't stop taking your stupid brain medicine and get sad and not show up and then you attempt suicide agai-" I shut up, looking at him frozen in fear. He wasn't supposed to know that I knew that.

"H-" I opened the door, going downstairs. I ran straight into Draco who was holding a vial. I tried to continue past him but I was stopped.

"I have the bruise removal paste for your eye- what's wrong?" I avoided his gaze as he looked up. To the top of the stairs.

—Harry POV—

I stood at the top of the stairs, absolutely dumbstruck by Teddy's words. How did he know? Did Ginny tell him? Ron, Hermione, Andromeda?

I looked at Teddy who was centimeters in front of Draco who held a vial of bruise removal paste in his hand. I looked at Draco, then back at Teddy.

"Teddy, please don't run away-" I stumbled over my words, speaking a bit too quickly. Draco arched his brow at me before going down to Teddy.

"We're turning around, and sitting down to have a conversation." He said. I watched as Teddy, speechless and defeated, turned around and was guided back up by Draco, both of them sitting down on the bed in the same place Teddy and I had sat. I closed the door behind us all, standing there. I absentmindedly scratched myself, before realizing it and stopping.

"What happneed, Teddy? Why are you-"

"He knows." I said to Draco. "He knows what I did when...when I tried to..." My arms suddenly felt like needles were pricking at them all over, and the hairs in the back of my neck stood.

I held my arms, trying to resist the oncoming urge to soothe the feeling of tiny invisible ants biting me.

"How-" I stopped, seemingly at a loss for words. Teddy, who had a long face, decided to speak up.

"I didn't mean to say that-"

"What did you say?" Draco asked Teddy.

"I- I told him that when I tell the bullies to go away they won't care and they'll do something-" he paused to take a breath. "And he said he would be there- to defend me- and I said-" he took another breath, as if he was guilty, or trying to stop himself from crying, or both. "I told him he wouldn't be there because he would get sad again and- and he would try to kill himself again."

"You talk to me when you want to hurt yourself."

"Teddy-" I need to talk to him before I check out.

"Draco, I'm sorry I- can you leave?" I said, turning to Draco, he gave me a concerned look before getting up and leaving the room. Not before discreetly giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

As soon as the door closed I began speaking.

"Teddy, listen to me... I'm not going anywhere... but that's beside the point." I said, trying to shake the idea from my mind as well as the itch that just wouldn't subside, making me feel twitchy and irritated.

"The point is, the next time those kids pick on you, you need to defend yourself- beat them up if you have to. Let them be scared of you." He looked at me with red eyes.

"And if you don't want them to be scared of you, let them be scared of me. Understood?" He gave a choppy nod.

"Don't do what I did. You already know how I turned out because of it." The feeling in my arms became more persistent.

"I need you to stand up to them for yourself like you stood up to them for Scorpius." I told him.

"How did you know-"

"I read the Prophet, Draco and I both know." I told him, coming towards him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"You guys aren't mad at me? I made the rumors worse-"

"We aren't mad at all. We know that Skeeter is no good and will spin a story out of anything. Also, Andromeda Owled us giving the full, real story." He looked at me before looking back at his lap, picking at a small bit of lint on his trousers.

"Teddy. I can see your metamorphagus isn't working. I know you're not okay. You need to defend yourself. You need to let us help you... you know the one bully I ever stood up to?" He looked at me in question.

"Draco." I said, gesturing towards the door. "And look how we are now."

"Did he back down?" Asked Teddy.

"Well, in my opinion he was always a bit of a coward. And he was misguided by his family too. He cared a lot about them and I think he might have been willing to do anything for them back then. But the times I stood up to him, he would back down for the time being. You could ask him, too. Though I'm not sure he would admit it." I said with a small laugh. This made Teddy give a small laugh too.

"Let's get the bruise healing paste on your eye and get you back to your grandmother, I'm sure she's worried." I told him, getting up and offering him a hand up as well.

"Are you sure you'll be there if I need you?" He said with a small, mousy voice. I looked him in the eye, nodding.

"I'm done leaving you behind. What I did when you were in my house was wrong. I wasn't paying enough attention to you and I regret that. I'm going to fix it, I promise."


	30. Chapter 30

—Harry POV—

As soon as Teddy left, I made my way upstairs, mumbling Draco's name to gesture for him to follow.

Each step up became louder against the wood floor and soon enough they became numb to my ears.

"I'm so stupid." I muttered, head in my hands.

"No you're not, don't say that." I heard Draco reassure, closing the door of the bedroom and sitting with me on the bed.

"How did he even find out? An eleven year old shouldn't know those kinds of things." I argued, feeling the itch come back.

"Draco..." I gripped my hair with tight fists.

"Yes?" He asked. I hugged my arms, pressing hard to resist the prick at my cuts and scratches.

I sucked in a breath, feeling myself get smaller. "Draco."

"It's your arms isn't it." I felt him grab onto one of them, and I wished the grip to be tight and harsh, as opposed to the gentleness of his touch. Soon enough, he was pressing both of my arms to his chest firmly. I felt as his heartbeat pulsed through me and I brought the top of my head forward to lean in the same place where my arms were, trying to ignore the feeling that told me to _move. Move your arms and feel the burn of the fabric irritating your still healing skin._ I twitched, my breathing becoming heavier.

I felt Draco move slightly and he held my arms still, and soon his breath was tickling the skin behind my ears.

"Don't think about the feeling. Focus on my heartbeat. Try to match it, cool, calm." I pressed my arms into him further. Screwing my eyes shut. I shook lightly.

"Let the pulse fill your mind and relax you."

I'm not entirely sure how long we stayed like that, just trying to get the feeling to go away. But after that, we decided to lay down, and even though the feeling was gone, I still wanted to keep my arms up against his chest, just in case. I felt like it would come back.

Eventually we did end up just laying there hugging, talking about Teddy.

"I just want to know how he found out... what could that have done to him?" I asked no one in particular, but I knew Draco was there listening, and I knew he intended to answer.

"The same thing it could have done to all of us, Harry. You don't quite understand how much your life means to everyone. I can tell from the things you say."

"I- okay, but, he's a kid! A kid with his own worries and issues and I just... He let those kids hurt him. He _let_ them... that's... he said it was because if he fights back they'll say he tried to kill them... a kid shouldn't have to think like that. Someone his age shouldn't even have to deal with that."

I was met with silence.

"I just don't understand, Draco. I mean, yes, you bullied me but I stood up to you no problem and you would back off and you- you just weren't- I- you changed... you changed you aren't the same Draco Malfoy from school. Dudley isn't even the same anymore, and I doubt he still has the same friends." I shuddered remembering Christmas. "I mean, at least he doesn't treat me like a total git every second he gets, but still."

"I really have changed... haven't I." He said with a thoughtful tone.

"Entirely, Draco. You aren't the same person at all. I... whatever you went through in your head during and after the war, it made you who you are now... I think, in a way the war has changed everyone. But no one as much as you." I told him honestly. "At least no one I know." I clarified.

"I think maybe you." Said Draco. "I'm not entirely sure if it was the best change, but it's definitely made you stronger... also more understanding."

I reached my hand over to his, removing him from the hug to squeeze his hand one, two, three times. _I love you._ He squeezed it back.

Just as a single tear form in the corner of my eye, the door swung open, and Draco and I promptly retreated to our own sides of the bed.

"Dada!" Suddenly Draco was clutching his gut where Scorpius had jumped and landed on him.

"Scor, please be careful."

"Sorry Dada." He said, moving to hug him. "Why were you gone for so long?" He asked. I heard Draco sigh deeply.

"Harry needed my help." He stated simply, laying down on his back while Scorpius sat on his stomach, leaning back on Draco's legs which were propped up to act as a chair. I watched as Scorpius began to play with his dad's hands, and I noticed how his small, smooth hands contrasted largely with Draco's slightly calloused, almost skeletal hands. Hands that have been through things, have been worn by life; versus hands that have yet to see what the world can do to you.

Funnily enough, both of their hands are long and skinny. But they still look entirely different.

"You just look like you were laying down though. Were you talking?" He asked with his characteristic light and bubbly voice full of curiosity.

"Yes. We were talking." After a while of Scorpius taking special interest in the pad of Draco's pointer finger, and the difference between each other's- having their fingertips connect, and holding them up to his face, examining their details.

"I want to do something." He said, suddenly sounding like the most bored child on earth.

"Like what?" Asked Draco.

"I don't know. Why did Teddy leave?"

"To be with his grandmother, why? Do you want to do something with him?" After looking off to the side, Scorpius's eyes trailed back to his father.

"Yeah." He said with a defeated voice.

"Harry?" I was brought into focus of the conversation when Draco called my name.

"Hm?"

"Do you think you can floo Teddy, and see if he's up for a bit of a last minute play date?"

"Uhm, sure. I'll go do that now." I told them, getting up and leaving the two alone.


	31. Chapter 31

—Teddy POV—

"I think it might cheer you up. The two of you have a bit of a bond." He said, bringing an arm around me. I couldn't help the smile creeping onto my face.

"He's my only friend. I don't talk to Rose anyway, even though she's cool too." He smiled at me.

"Let's go, you can spend the night if you want, too." I thought about it for a second. I would get to stay over with Scorpius and Uncle Harry, and I would have fun and I could get my mind off of school- which is in 7 days.

"Can I?" I asked, just to make sure.

"Yeah, of course!" I trusted what he was saying, so with a smile, I went over to my room for a bag, some clothes, and Gobstones.

Soon enough, I was stepping out of Uncle Harry's fireplace again, feeling happier than I had in a a bit. Scorpius came back to me with another tight hug.

"Hey, you want to play in my room?" He asked excitedly.

"Sure!" Soon we were racing up the stairs, and all of my worries were long abandoned.

After settling onto the bed we started talking; simple things. It was all going great until Scor asked a certain question that made me almost somber:

"Are you excited to make new friends at Hogwarts?" He asked.

"I don't know if I'm going to be making many friends, Scor." I told him honestly and lightheartedly, as if it were nothing. I saw his face turn in confusion.

"Why not? You're the most cool person ever and everyone will love you." He reasoned. I saw that glint of innocence in his eyes once again and I knew I couldn't lie, but I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth either.

"Yeah, you're right I guess, but kids don't really like me that much."

"Why?" He asked in disbelief. I sighed, knowing I'd have to elaborate at least a little bit.

"They just don't. I don't know why."

"Well they're stupid." I laughed. Scorpius thinks 'stupid' is a curse word, and he only uses it around me because he thinks his dad will go crazy if he hears it. I know that he used it as an insult to those kids, to help me feel better.

"You really are awesome though." He continued. "Don't worry though, I know that, they just won't get to be your friend." I gave another light laugh. If Rita Skeeter hadn't started those rumors, maybe I would have some other friends.

"We'll always have each other, Scor." _Kids he hasn't even met are already scared of him._ "When you get to Hogwarts, we'll stick together." I gave him a playful punch and a crooked smile. He laughed, punching me back.

"Yeah!" He said with oh-so-much enthusiasm and that wide grin he always gives me. "We're best friends, we'll be the best friends at Hogwarts." It made me a bit sad to know he was probably bound to end up in a worse situation than me. But it'll be okay, because we'll have each other.

"Why do I have to wait 3 years to go to school with you?" He asked as soon as his smile subsided.

"Because you have to be eleven to go to Hogwarts." I explained. "Then, an Owl will come in with a letter telling you what you will need for school."

"Man, but can't I just wait two years? Since I turn eleven while you're still twelve?" _How is he able to think so far in advance? He really is smarter than people know._

After a few moments of thought, I answered him. "I don't know. I don't think so though. Because Andromeda said you _have_ to be eleven. Also, Aunt Hermione would have gone a year before Uncle Harry and Uncle Ron because her birthday is a few weeks into the school year." I explained.

"Wanna play Gobstones?" I suggested, pulling the set out of my bag. His eyes lit up, before he gave a smirk.

"I'm gonna win again."

"Yeah right." I said with a chuckle.

————

We just finished dinner, and now I was just laying down on Scorpius's bed, waiting for him to finish in the shower. I was already in my pajamas, and was just playing with some toys he had out. I had noticed a picture of what looked like Scorpius' dad, him, and probably his mom. Scorpius was an infant in the photo though. I couldn't really recognize him. I studied the photo, my hair changing to a white color as my eyes examined the three of them. _He's lost a parent too. But at least it was only one._ My sight trailed over to the woman with brown hair. She looked worn and pale, but she had the widest smile one could see as she stared down at baby Scorpius. _That's who he gets the smile from._

Suddenly the door opened, and I felt my hair stand up and turn a slight orange, before I noticed Scorpius, and my hair fell back down.

"Your hair is changing colors again. Did I surprise you and make your hair turn orange?"

"Yeah, I think so." I said with a small smile. "It comes back when I'm less sad, so yeah." I told him.

"Why have you been sad?" He skipped over to the bed, plopping down in front of me and crossing his legs. "Was it because of your eye?"

I was taken aback by the question, and decided to answer with a not-quite-lie. "Kind of. It's ok though. Besides, we had a lot of fun today. I'm happy." I said with a genuine smile.

"Do you think you can do the thing where you make yourself look like me?" I laughed.

"I can try."

"Yeah!" I studied him, before closing my eyes tight and concentrating. _Make myself shorter. White hair, also shorter. Make myself more pale. A lot more pale. Grey eyes._ I opened my eyes, and he looked at me strangely.

"You just look like yourself, but with my hair, and my size." I quickly let it fall, feeling myself stretch and readjust to my normal appearance.

"I guess I can't do it all the way today. But I haven't really been using it. This is the most I've done in a while."

"Oh. Well, then good job! You were almost there." I gave him a smile.

"Thanks."

As time passed and we continued to just play with random toys, and at one point even with his Muggle gaming device, I noticed that he became more uncomfortable. Every time he would glance at the clock and see that it was a little bit later, his expression would falter, and he would ignore any question I asked.

Soon enough, there was a soft knock on the door, followed by Draco opening the door.

"I hope you buggers are getting ready for bed." He said, playfully serious. I was about to say yes, but Scorpius, who I noticed was now looking really shaken up- to my confusion-, turned to his dad.

"Dada can I... go talk to you?" He gave a suspicious glance.

"Of course. Come, we'll go to my room. Teddy, you're good here?" I nodded in confusion, and soon, the two of them disappeared behind the door.

—Scorpius POV—

"Dada I- bed and pee and- and I can't- and sleep- and-"

"Hey, relax, breathe, in... out... Think about what you're saying, then tell me." I stopped and looked at him, feeling scared. I took a quick breath, then tried to talk again.

"What if I get a nightmare or what if I pee myself-" I turned when I heard the door open, seeing Harry wrapped in a towel, with a lot of lines on his chest. He stopped, looked at us, then he put his hand out to the side, making a pile of folded clothes fly into his hands before he turned away and left, closing the door behind him. I felt my cheeks go red with embarrassment.

"Dada I'm scared. I don't want him to make fun of me. I don't want him to know that I pee in bed at night, I'm not supposed to do that and I don't know why or how to stop it-"

"Scorpius, you're rambling a bit, please, calm down, we can figure this out." I looked up at dada. He always knows what to do, but what if something happens? My face twisted as I tried not to cry.

"Hey, listen, this is no big deal, okay? You know I always figure something out." He said. I jumped up giving him a hug around the neck.

I felt him pat me on the back. "We'll make him a bed, and I'll give you a dreamless sleep potion like I have been. Okay? And if anything, you know where I am. Okay?" He pulled me away and looked at me. I nodded, wiping my nose with my arm. I felt his hand go up to wipe my tears.

"If you really don't want to sleep in the same room as Teddy, you can stay here. Do you want that?" I thought for a second before I shook my head.

"I miss him though." I saw dada nod.

"Okay. So I'll give you the dreamless sleep, and the two of you will sleep in the same room, in different beds. I'll wake you up early in case you did wet the bed. Okay?" I nodded again.

"Now, how about you go right before I tuck you in, that way it might not happen. Do you like that idea?"

"Okay." I told dada, moving to get up and go to the bathroom. I stopped for a second though.

"Can you give me the potion not with Teddy?" I asked him, worried that Teddy would know what it is, or that he would ask me why I need it. Dada nodded.

"Of course, Scor."

"Thank you dada-" I went back and gave him another hug, since I'm so tiny it was only up to his waist. He hugged me back with only his hands because his hands were what reached me. I felt him pat me lightly to tell me to let go.

"Come on, let's not keep him waiting." He said. I nodded and left the room, going past Harry who was now wearing his pajamas, and going to the bathroom.

After I flushed the toilet and washed my hands, dada came in with the small bottle holding the purple drink. He opened it, and I tilted my head back to swallow the sweet-tasting, grainy potion.

After that, I went to my room and I saw Harry sitting by a transfigured bed. I looked at dada, who simply said "I told Harry to transfigure a bed for Teddy while you were in the loo." I kind of felt like Teddy was giving me this weird look, like he was sad at me. Dada seemed to notice though, because he said "It seems you're getting sleepy, eh?" Teddy said yes, with a nod, then Dada said:

"I think Scorpius here is getting a bit tired too." He tucked me in while Harry tucked Teddy in, who said "Andromeda doesn't tuck me in"

"Yeah, but I do." Said Harry. As I felt myself getting sleepier, and my eyes wanting to close more, Dada and Harry left the room. I was trying to stay awake just a little bit, but Teddy said goodnight to me, then I said goodnight to him, and we both fell asleep.


	32. Chapter 32

—Teddy POV—

I gripped Uncle Harry's hand, leaning into him. I felt the sweat gathering on my clammy hands, one of which was holding the trolley with my clothes trunk, my school robes, which were draped over my trunk, and my owl. I was looking around nervously as we made our way to a space between platforms nine and ten. Soon, I felt him let go of my hand, letting a rush of air make the sweat on my palms more present.

"You have to run straight through that wall. No hesitation. Draco and Scorpius will go first- to show you." I looked at Scorpius, who gave me an excited nod. I watched as Draco bent down to Scorpius' eye level pointing at the column and explaining to him the concept of the magical barrier. They clutched each other's hands, and broke off into a quick run, before disappearing into the wall.

"I'll be right behind you, Ted." I looked up at him, swallowing my nerves, then I looked at Andromeda, standing right behind him. I gave a timid nod, adjusting my grip on my trolley. I took a deep breath, staring at the barrier with determination. I can do this. I broke off into a run. The arrier getting closer, closer, closer. I closed my eyes upon what would have been impact, but instead I felt a sort of suction throughout my body, and came out of the other side.

A brilliant red steam engine labeled as HOGWARTS EXPRESS was in view- standing idle, the smoke stack piping out white clouds. There were people everywhere, and I was overwhelmed. I just barely felt two hands on either of my shoulders, pulling me aside. It was Andromeda. She pulled me closer to her, Uncle Harry, Draco, and Scorpius.

"Listen," said Uncle Harry. "You are going to board the train, and you'll get in a compartment that isn't empty. You'll make some friends. Okay?" I nodded, swallowing the persisting lump in my throat.

"I love you, Ted. You'll do smashingly at Hogwarts." He looked up, seeing something behind me, then looking at Draco and Scorpius. "Andromeda will guide you aboard. Okay?"

"Okay." I told him. I felt something press up against me, and saw Scorpius hugging me from the side.

"Good luck! I'll see you during the Holidays!" He said, with a smile stretching from ear to ear. I gave him a small smile in return.

"Thanks, Scor. I'll be looking forward to it." I told him.

Before I knew it, I was being turned around by Andromeda, her hands staying on my shoulders.

I tried to look back, but there were swarms of people already filling the gap between us.

"I'll care for the trolley, Teddy. Go on, grab your trunk and owl. They'll sit in the compartment with you. Remember I put a sandwich in the pocket of your robes. That'll be your lunch, dear. There's money in your trunk if you need it, but I doubt you will. It's enough for you to get something if the opportunity arises." I heard her say. It seems my feet had carried me to the front of the train along with loads of other children. Many in regular clothing and holding their robes in their hands, like me. Some, however, were already in their school robes. Andromeda had assured me last night though: "The ride is long enough for you to put on and take off your robes 50 times."

I gave her one last hug, lasting a bit longer than usual, before she helped me hoist the trunk and owl from the trolley. Apparently, taking your time doesn't work here, because every second of hesitation caused a push or a shove to come my way. I didn't bother to find an occupied compartment- just falling into the first available one. If anyone else wanted to enter, they could. With a heave and some struggle, I was just barely able to lift my trunk onto the overhead compartment. I sat down, placing the cage containing my brown and white spotted owl next to me, catching my breath. I draped my robes over my lap, closing my eyes. This is going to be quite the year.

I opened my eyes at the sound of a small bang, and looked out the compartment to see students piling into the train, pushing and shoving down the corridor. I stiffened at the sight of her.

Tall, silver hair styled to perfection, olive skin that was just flawless. She's the girl who gave me the black eye. I shuffled further into my seat. Change your face. Hopefully she won't recognize you. I closed my eyes, concentrating. Make my face smaller, more round. Green eyes, not brown. Change my hair. Make it shorter, make it Weasley-red.

When I opened my eyes she was long gone. I realized that Aminata probably never even realized I was in this compartment. Not with the rush of kids racing to sit with their friends. I decided to keep myself the way I was- red hair and all. Maybe if her posse doesn't recognize me, they won't pick on me.

Just then, I heard my compartment door slide open, and was met with a short kid with curly, dark brown hair, a little bit like Uncle Harry's. The kid was also pale, skinny, and already wearing their Hogwarts robes. I got a good look at them, just trying to figure out: are they a boy, or a girl? I couldn't quite seem pinpoint it off appearance alone, so I stayed silent as to not embarrass myself.

"Can I sit here? Everywhere else is full." I looked up at him... him, and nodded.

"Y-yeah." I thought twice before stating my name. I'm transformed for a reason.

"I'm Luca. What about you?" He asked. I swallowed.

"Teddy." Not Edward. Edward is a werewolf to everyone else.

"Nice to meet you Teddy." He said with a shy, sideways smile. He put his trunk in the overhead compartment before sitting down beside me.

"Do you know a lot about Hogwarts?" I blinked a few times. He's trying to make small talk. He's just looking for a friend. He's not scared of you.

But he doesn't know who you really are.  
"Yeah. Both my parents, and my grandparents, and really my whole family went to Hogwarts."

"So you must know loads of stuff already..."

"I mean... I guess? I don't know how to use magic. I only got my wand last week-" I paused and pulled it out of my pocket, the intricately crafted stick resting in my hands.

"Your wand looks nice." He said with a shy smile, and a small laugh.

"Look, here's mine." He pulled his own out of his pocket, more simply crafted, and closer to black than brown. It was also smooth and straight. For a bit we just sat there, examining each other's wands before the compartment door opened again.

"Hi. I couldn't find a seat anywhere else." I looked up towards the light and feathery voice to find a girl with strawberry blonde hair into a style that reminded me of a girl whose picture I'd seen among the many on Draco's shelves. One where he was a young kid, at the Yule Ball. She was standing with him.

"I'm Bonnie. And you?" I snapped out of my daze.

"T-Teddy. And this is Luca." I said, gesturing to him, I noticed that he's a bit shy- so am I.

We got to talking for a bit, and getting to know each other. Soon though, it was time for us to change into our robes. Bonnie changed in the loo, and I changed in the compartment, drawing the shades. Luca just sat, waiting patiently.


	33. Chapter 33

—Teddy POV—

After the train ride, We were all ushered towards a large, tall man whose face was covered mostly by dark, curly hair, announcing: "Firs' years! Firs' years over 'ere!" I looked around for the now familiar faces of Luca and Bonnie, and stayed with them as long as I could.

"Firs' years follow me!" We began our trek from the station, away from everyone else. When we finally separated from the rest of the crowd, I noticed how small our year is. After scanning once or twice, I counted 32 students. _If all of the years were this size, then how were there such crowds at the station and down the corridors of the train?_

We stumbled down a dark, narrow pathway, which, after a few turns, opened into a clearing. Soon, we were gathered at the edge of a vast lake. With the evening among us, the water looked like thick, black velvet. A mountain resided on the other side- a mountain with a castle.

"That must be Hogwats." I heard Bonnie whisper to me. I took a quick glance to either side of me. Luca, on my left, and Bonnie, on my right, were both looking at our school in awe of the magnificent structure whose carvings and details were surely hidden away by the shadows of the cloudy night.

"No more'n four to a boat." The large man, who I could swear was just a giant mane of hair, pointed to a fleet of eight boats sitting at the edge of the black, velvety lake. I allowed Bonnie and Luca to go ahead of me, hoping that we would end up in the same boat, especially now that in this small group of students, Aminata and her friends were more likely to identify me.

When we were all in our boats, The man started to move them with magic. I watched the water as the boats glided across the perfectly still lake, and I could have sworn I saw something enormous moving, lurking in the depths of the body of water. I looked up, ready to make a remark about the mysterious movement, but was stopped by the look on my new friends faces. _No, not friends. They're kind because they don't know who you are._ Bonnie and Luca both seemed absolutely starstruck by the concept of magic, and by the beautiful structure ahead of us. Bonnie more-so. _I guess having a magic family and being metamorphagus helps me in that sense._ Soon, we were residing still on the edge of the lakes opposite side, and we were led into the large, magnificent castle.

The grand, wooden double doors swung open all at once, and we were met with a tall woman who looked a bit older than Andromeda, wearing emerald robes and a black witches hat like Andromeda's. I recognized her from the card on a chocolate frog I'd eaten a while back. _Minerva McGonagall: CURRENT HEADMISTRESS OF HOGWARTS. Strict and Clever transfiguration teacher and head of Gryffindor house. Recipient of the Order of Merlin award for her allegiance to the Order of The Phoenix._

The large hairy man said "Firs' years, Headmistress McGonagall." And she responded with "Thank you, Hagrid." That was when it dawned on me who he was. _Uncle_ _Harry had told me stories about him- keeping dragons, rescuing a Hippogriff, An acromantula named Aragog and his funeral-_

"Follow me." Headmistress McGonagal said, turning and leading us down a magnificent corridor and up a wide set of marble stairs. I heard muffled bustling voices from a door to our right, and figured the rest of the school's students must already be here. I thought we were going to go in there, but I was wrong, as she led us to a small empty room with benches lining the walls.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," said Headmistress McGonagall. "The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your Houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your House will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your House, sleep in your House dormitory, and spend free time in your House common room.

The four Houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each House has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your House points, while any rule-breaking will lose House points. At the end of the year, the House with the most points is awarded the House Cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever House becomes yours.

The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting."

She turned around and left after telling us she would return when the rest of the school was ready for us. As soon as she was gone, the commotion began.

"Is it like a test? She made it sound like a test. They didn't tell us about a test-" Began Luca.

"I haven't read any of my books yet! I didn't have time to-" Continued Bonnie. There were words similar to these bouncing off the walls and around the small chamber. I tuned them out because I knew what the sorting ceremony was- It was only explained to me by almost every adult I know, along with their boasting of what house was theirs. Uncle Harry, Aunt Ginny, Ron and Hermione, along with all of the Weasleys, have been in Gryffindor house. Andromeda was in Slytherin, and she told me my dad was a Gryffindor, and my mum was a Hufflepuff.

I was relatively relaxed until I remembered a specific bit of information about the sorting ceremony. _"They call out your name, and you walk to the front of the hall. They sit you on a stool and place the sorting hat on_ _your_ _head-"_ It's no use hiding by changing my appearance anymore. They will all know I am Edward Lupin, werewolf, and son of a werewolf. I should probably remove my disguise while I still can. _I'll go up as just plain me, and then I can hide myself at times when my name isn't being announced to the world._ I was snapped out of my thoughts by Luca, who seems to have been really thinking about how to get through this.

"I can answer questions with the most common sense answer. I'll use the process of elimination to rule out the ones that are obviously not it-"

"Luca, it's not a test." I explained to him.

"How do you know?" He asked, halting his thoughts, and sounding rather curious.

"I know because my entire family has told me about it at least a dozen times. My uncle, his friends, my grandmother,"

"Are you a pure blood then? It seems like everyone in your family are Wizards." He asked.

"According to my grandmother I'm a half-blood, but that's on my dad's side of the family. I don't really know them. I'm always around people who were related to my mum; that, and my Uncle Harry, well, he's my Godfather, but I call him Uncle." I explained, carefully going around anything that could indicate who I truly am.

"I'm a half-blood too. My dad was a Wizard, but my mum's a Muggle. She's tried to tell me what she knows from what dad used to tell her, but it's been a bit difficult... since they separated." He said timidly.

"My uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny got separated too. That's why I live with my grandmother now-" I covered my mouth, eyes wide. _That may have been too much._

"Harry and Ginny? Like Harry and Ginny Potter? They're famous- my dad told me about them before he and mum... you're related to them?" he asked. I nodded shyly. _He doesn't know what the Prophet has been saying about Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny's separation. He lives in the Muggle world._

"Hey, what happened to Bonnie-?"

The doors opened and Headmistress McGonagall told us to form a line before she led us into an enormous hall with four tables and loads of students at each table. _The Great Hall, where we eat, according to Draco._

All of the students that were sitting looked at us, and I noticed everyone had empty golden plates in front of them. There was no food in sight. We all watched in silence as Headmistress McGonagall brought a four legged stool in front of the line of us first years. On top of the stool she placed a brown pointed Wizard's hat. _That must be the_ _sorting hat Andromeda and Uncle Harry and everyone else has told me about. It looks like it has a face._ I noted, peering over Lucas's shoulder to see clearly. I didn't realize how tall he was.

After the Sorting Hat seemingly came to life, it sang a song that explained the sorting ceremony, and that all you need to do is put the hat on.

"When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted." Said Headmistress McGonagall. Listened intently for my name.

I heard as 'Fernsby, Bonnie' got sorted into Hufflepuff. 'Loughty Aminata'- the girl who punched me last week- got sorted into Ravenclaw. A boy I don't know, named 'Lundy, Wendell' got sorted into Hufflepuff; then,

"Lupin, Edward," I quickly dropped my metamorphagus before walking up for everyone to see me. I heard Luca slightly gasp. Last he knew, Teddy- a short kid with fiery red hair, a small round face, and green eyes was standing behind him- not Edward, a tall, lanky kid with sandy blonde hair, brown eyes, and a face 'exactly like his father's'.

My heart was pounding. I glanced over to the table Aminata was sitting at and I saw her intensely staring into my soul. I sat down on the stool, and felt the hat be placed onto my head. Just then, a voice appeared in my mind.

"Ah, Lupin's child. Hmm. I see- a practical thinker; you know more than you let on. Hardworking too, fair-minded. You defend those that are dear to you. You are understanding, and a fierce friend."

"HUFFLEPUFF"

The hat was removed from my head and I hopped off the stool, walking over to the table that was cheering the loudest, and I sat down next to Bonnie.

Next, 'Makara, Luca' was sorted into Slytherin, 'Meuric, Jill'- another friend of Aminata's- was sorted into Ravenclaw. I noticed that she avoided looking at the Hufflepuff table entirely. She avoided looking at me. I wasn't sure whether to be grateful, or confused. The last name that was called was 'Olivemore, Gabriel.'- who was sorted into Hufflepuff, like me.

"Attention, Attention!" Everyone's focus was directed towards Headmistress McGonagall.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! Congratulations to all of our first years, who have now been sorted into their houses-" a cheer erupted throughout the hall.

"Thank you, thank you. Now, I would like to make a few announcements. Firstly, let us welcome our brand-new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Dedalus Diggle." A short, plump man with a top-hat stood from a table that held what seemed to be all adults, probably professors. Everybody applauded him, including me.

"I would also like to introduce our new Herbology teacher, and former Auror, Professor Neville Longbottom!" At this, there was not only applause, but also some cheering. I applauded a little more enthusiastically- I know Neville. He's friends with Uncle Harry, Aunt Ginny, and Ron and Hermione.

"Lastly, before we begin our Welcome Feast, I would like to announce, after many, _many_ requests over the past two years, Hogwarts now has a Wizarding Bowling Club- Open to all students." Another cheer came up, mostly from the Gryffindors, before she brought up her hand, silencing us again.

"Although Madame Hooch is a remarkable Quidditch coach, who has taught, and continues to teach flying, the Bowling Club will be coached by a very good friend of hers, Professor Jason Belmonte." She brought her hand out to the side, and a skinny man about Uncle Harry's height, with black hair and a short, black beard, stood up from that same table where Nev- Professor Longbottom, and the others were sat. The Gryffindor table cheered even more loudly than previously, along with a few other cheers across the hall.

"Thank you. Now, let the feast begin!"


	34. Chapter 34

—Harry POV—

"I love you, Ted. You'll do smashingly at Hogwarts." I told him as one final reassurance. I noticed movement in my peripheral vision and looked up, seeing a blonde girl in Gryffindor robes, probably a seventh-year, pointing at me and Draco, then whispering to another girl in Ravenclaw robes. I glanced towards Draco, who seemed to notice this as well. He nudged Scorpius, telling him to say goodbye to Teddy. I looked down at him. "Andromeda will guide you aboard. Okay?"

"Okay." He answered. Scorpius hugged him, saying his goodbyes. Behind me I heard whispers.

"It's Harry Potter-"

"And Draco Malfoy. Look. It's the kid too-"

"-Looks an awful lot like Malfoy"

"Transfiguration, it has to be. The Prophet has reason to believe that Harry Potter has turned. They say the kid is a sign that You-Know-Who might come back-"

A gasp "-no!"

"Yes! Have you not been reading?" Draco's jaw clenched and He gripped Scorpius's upper arm, holding him closely.

"The savior of the Wizarding World!"

"But they say he's turned-"

"But how can that be?" I felt Draco's hand harshly hold me back. My fist clenched and unclenched, and soon, the whispers weren't whispers anymore.

"Look, everyone! Look! Harry Potter! He hasn't been seen since his marriage!" Swarms of people came towards us.

"Let's go." Whispered Draco. He grabbed my arm and with a swirl and a pop, we were in Grimmauld Place.

"What was that dada?" Asked Scorpius. Draco responded with "did you hear anything?" Scorpius shook his head.

"Only that man who said Harry's name." Draco looked at me, face flooded with worry, then back at his son.

"Good, good. Go to your room, please?"

"What were they talking about? What didn't I hear?"

"Nothing, Scorpius, not now. Go to your room." He said sternly. I walked upstairs and he followed, keeping my thoughts to myself until we could speak. Scorpius went to his own room, and Draco and I went to ours. I opened my mouth to speak and he held his hand up, taking his wand out, and casting a silencing charm. I then heard the rapid pitter-patter of Scorpius' footsteps, and I could only imagine him clutching his ears and going away to get rid of the ringing.

"You think I don't know my son?"

"They're sure to print an article about this." I told him, sitting down, feeling frustrated.

"You know we didn't _have_ to go to Kings Cross, or at the very least we could have left him on the Muggle Side of the border!" He argued, my anger flared.

"We had to! Besides I told you that you could stay here with Scorpius and let me take the potential fall! This is _not_ my fault!"

"Are you mad?! I wasn't going to leave you like that-"

"Well I couldn't leave Teddy like that! He's scared and nervous, it's his first day at Hogwarts-"

"Oh like you hadn't left him when you were supposed to step in as a father!" I froze, looking at him intensely. He stared back. Neither of us dared speak. At least, not at first. I went past him, being sure to harshly shove his shoulder on the way out of the room.

"Where do you think you're going?!" I heard Draco exclaim from the top of the stairs that I was already halfway down.

"Out."

"Out-fucking-where?! You hate leaving the damn house-"

"Well maybe if you weren't such a fucking prick, I wouldn't have to leave the house!" I roared, making my way down the hall of the first floor, the black front door in the distance.

"You know, I told you it wasn't a good idea, not with how things are: Rita Skeeter is still on the run and the Aurors have found nothing!" He was following me, he was starting to catch up. "The entire Prophet staff is under questioning, and with every release of an article, we find no proof of Rita Skeeter except her name signed at the bottom of each rubbish _bloody_ paper!" I turned around, wand in hand, only to find him centimeters in front of me.

"I may be a shit father but I'm trying to make up for it, and that's more than my aunt and uncle ever did for me. So shut your sodding mouth and let me go-"

"No!" He reached forward and I stepped back. "Harry it's not safe, you cannot leave the house-"

"Why the fuck not, Draco?"

"Because the Muggles know about us, in case you haven't noticed! That's why I had to take the fall for _you_ erasingthe memory of my sons perception of a motherly figure! It's why I had to leave my peaceful American Muggle life not scared to leave the house, to come back to this goddamned place!"

"Oh, I've noticed! Don't worry if I haven't though, because sitting in this house while codswallop articles get sent over every day and Hermione keeps telling us how impossible it is to figure out how Joanne Rowling knows us, reminds me plenty. So piss off." I said, tears rimming my eyes. He didn't stop me from walking out the front door. I distinctly remember hearing a loud bang, followed by Draco frustratedly screaming 'Fuck' as I closed the door.

As angry as I was, I found myself not wanting to go anywhere. Draco was right: it isn't safe. Besides, I can't bring myself to face the potential crowds and questions. With my decision in mind, I slumped down, sitting on the front steps of the house. _Sometimes Draco can really be such a bloody git._ I took a deep breath, trying to keep calm. _I swear he'll be the death of me._

 _—_ Draco POV—

I kicked a column in frustration as Harry walked out the door. _I shouldn't have said that. It wasn't right._

Just then, an Owl flew in with the day's edition of the Prophet. I picked it up.

_ EXCLUSIVE: HARRY POTTER, DRACO MALFOY, AND SCORPIUS RIDDLE SPOTTED AT KING'S CROSS STATION _

I felt all of my pent up anger coursing through my veins, raising the hairs on the nape of my neck.

"His name isn't _fucking_ Riddle." I tore the paper in frustration and defeat, casting it into the fireplace.

 _He's mine- He's my son. Scorpius Malfoy. Not-fucking-Riddle. It's my fault. If I hadn't been such an idiot..._ I sat down on the couch, shoulders slumped and head down.

_Scorpius is my son. He's mine, he's a Malfoy. He's more than a Malfoy; he's kind, intelligent, brave. He doesn't deserve to get roped into my past, my parents' past, my nonsense._

I felt as tears I'd been holding back since this entire disaster with the Daily Prophet began, spring forward, helplessly falling from my closed eyes, welling up as much as they could in an instant. My body shook as I brought my head to my hands.

"Dada, are you okay?"


	35. Chapter 35

—Draco POV—

_Scorpius is my son. He's mine, he's a Malfoy. He's more than a Malfoy; he's kind, intelligent, brave. He doesn't deserve to get roped into my past, my parents' past, my nonsense._

I felt as tears I'd been holding back since this entire disaster with the Daily Prophet began, spring forward, helplessly falling from my closed eyes, welling up as much as they could in an instant. My body shook as I brought my head to my hands.

"Dada, are you okay?" My head snapped into the upright position and I wiped my tears, sniffling and taking a deep breath.

"I'm fine, Scor... come here, please." I opened my arms for him to climb onto my lap.

"You know, when you were a baby, you fit between here-" I pointed to the inside of my elbow- "and here." I pointed to the palm of my hand. "I think you may have grown up a little bit since then."

"Wow. So I was tiny?"

"Very." I let him rest on top of me, his head on my shoulder.

"Why were you screaming and crying?" He asked.

I had to think for a moment before I was able to answer. "...Just because people can be really mean sometimes." _I can't keep him in the dark forever._

"Scor, people are... saying things about us. Bad things, that aren't true." He looked up at me, but didn't say anything. After a few seconds, I closed my eyes and continued speaking. "They believe that we're... friends, with a very, very bad man. One that... that took so much away from me." I felt my hands ball up into fists as my face contorted in anger.

"He hurt a lot of people, Scor..."

"Why do they think that we are friends with him? We aren't bad people."

"He-" _Because he threatened me and my family, because I helped get people killed, because your grandfather believed in the things this man did, and raised me to think the same._

"I... someone keeps writing about us in the newspaper, spouting out theories that..." _That say you aren't my son. That Voldemort left me his child. That you are going to destroy humanity, and that there won't be a 'Chosen One' to stop you, because he's always seen around me now. They think he's turned evil because they think I'm evil. They think I'm evil because I helped this evil man._ I squeezed my eyes tight as tears sprang forward once again. My face twisted in pain and frustration.

"Dada?" I ignored him, but acknowledged his worried, confused voice. After a while, I decided I needed to tell him something.

"Scor, you know that you'll always be mine, right? And that I'll always be there for you?" He nodded.

"Good. As long as you remember that, we'll be okay. They can't hurt us anymore." That last statement felt a lot more like I was trying to convince myself that my past is where it belongs, and that it won't haunt me for the rest of my life. I was trying to convince myself that they wouldn't go after Scorpius. I was trying to convince myself that it would all go away as long as we stayed together.

"But why do they think we're bad?" He asked with an unsteady voice.

"What they think doesn't matter. Between you and me, they're all just a bunch of scared idiots." _Understandably scared idiots._ I laid him back down on my chest, hugging him with one arm as my other fidgeted, playing with the end of my sleeve.

"We aren't bad people, right?" He asked curiously.

"No, we aren't. We aren't like that man, we aren't bad people, Scor. You are not bad, and I am not bad." _Not anymore, but everyone seems to overlook that detail._

I held him closely as he laid on me _. I'm going to keep you safe. Safe from the burden of other people's fear. I know how it feels, but I deserve it. You don't. You're the kindest, sweetest boy in the family. You're the one Malfoy that doesn't deserve this._ Said the voice in my mind.

I didn't realize I was dozing off until I heard the front door open and close. Given that no alarms were set off, I figured it would be Harry. When I opened my eyes to be met with him staring back at me, I was proven correct. I blinked a couple of times before patting Scorpius's back, signaling for him to let me get up. He did so.

"Is it okay if I talk to Harry really quick, Scor?" He nodded.

"And you won't go listening in, right?" I gave him a stern glare, so he knew I was being completely serious.

"No. I promise."

"Good." I watched as he ran up the stairs and out of sight, then my vision went towards Harry, standing still, looking at me still.

The silence was thick as we stared at each other. I was calculating whether I was meant to say something before him, and I could see that behind his tired, sunken appearance, he was trying to find words to say.

"You can be a real git, you know that?" He said, still not moving. I nodded.

"I know."

More silence, in every crevice of the room. I sat up straight, so he could see in my appearance that I cared, that I wasn't this heartless arse who would have an argument like that and then simply let him leave without another thought.

At one point, all I could do was concentrate on our breathing, loud enough to be heard. I observed as Harry clenched and unclenched his jaw, as he looked at me as though he was searching for something. A reason, an explanation, perhaps. At one point, he began to look around, eyes landing on the torn paper in the unlit fireplace.

"What happened?" He looked back at me.

"Another article." I said plainly, yet with a sense of exhaustion. There was a moment's pause before he spoke again.

"What did it say?" He looked like he almost didn't want to know the answer to his question as he stared at the paper with a bursting feeling of betrayal.

"I didn't read it, the headline was enough to drive me mad." More silence ensued as Harry stared at the fireplace, and I stared at Harry. Only a slight mutter of the spell "incendio" could be seen exiting his lips, and the paper lit aflame. I watched as each corner of the parchment retreated helplessly from its burning, ashen fate. It was only when the paper was merely a small pile of burnt, black ashes, that I spoke again.

"I didn't mean what I said... about how you were with Teddy... I understand that you were- and still are- going through some things..." I swallowed before continuing to speak, my eyes trailing along the wood lines of the spotless floor. "I know that what your relatives did to you isn't even comparable to you and Teddy... and I know that he knows that no matter what you did or didn't do, it wasn't because of him... it shows in how he is with you."

There was a moment where I felt his gaze land on me, and I brought my line of sight up to see his cracked, emerald eyes.

"It was the right thing to do" I continued. "Going to platform nine and three-quarters was good... you put his needs first- and I knew you would." We remained unmoved. I continued to speak.

"I put your needs before mine... I went with you, I wasn't going to let you go alone." He hadn't replied to a word I said, and I wasn't sure if it was good or bad as I saw him tense to suppress the quiver beneath his bottom lip.

"I spoke to Scorpius- he knows that the rumors exist now... he knows why we stay home." I saw him give a slight nod.

"I'm sorry." Our identical words collided with one another's as we spoke them at the same time. I hesitantly stepped forward, he didn't move.

"I shouldn't have said what I did. I struck a cord, and what I said was inaccurate and out of context." I admitted.

"I shouldn't have yelled. You had good reason to not want to go out. You have a son to worry about..." he swallowed. "I think we just need to... take it slow, I guess. Go out if we need to... but we can't let this stop us from getting fresh air either. We're people who should be able to go out without worrying about crowds or harsh rumors and whispers." He concluded. His vision strayed to the side. I took another step forward.

"Are we okay?" I asked tentatively. He nodded.

"Yeah. I think we are." I saw the ghost of a smile creep up on him. I found a smile on myself as well.

"Good. We need to stick together, so we can get through this." I reached out, taking his hand. I felt as he squeezed it three times. It's something he's been doing for a while now. I guessed it was to show that he's here, with me. I squeezed back as I always do, to show I'm here with him as well.

He took a small step towards me, letting go of my hand and bringing his arms around my waist. I found myself doing the same to him.

 _I love you._ We rested our foreheads on each other's. I closed my eyes.

"We'll get through this together." I whispered.

"Together."


	36. Chapter 36

—Draco POV—

"It's not going to get better." He whispered.

It was well past the middle of the night and Harry and I had just been laying in each other's arms unmoving, silent. It was as if we were trying to comfort each other to sleep while knowing ourselves that we wouldn't succumb to it's peaceful darkness. But still, neither of us spoke, because what if the other was finally sleeping?

At least, neither of us had spoken until Harry said what he'd just said.

"I think it will get better... with time." I whispered in reply. "You're doing loads better than you were a year ago." I added, suppressing a yawn.

"No... not that. That's something else. I meant everything... that's happened- happening." He clarified.

 _Oh._ I thought as I repositioned myself so I could look into his eyes.

"It will... you'll see; people will forget after a while, or they'll see Skeeter and her papers for the rubbish they are." I reasoned.

"You don't believe that." He replied, leaving me in a sort of silence as we laid staring at each other.

I mean, he's not wrong... it's been worrying me a lot- to a point of almost exhaustion. Scorpius doesn't even understand the extent of the rumors and what impact they can have on him. Teddy sent a letter after his first week of Hogwarts saying that he was trying to avoid involving McGonagall, but that he also didn't feel safe walking the halls alone. Harry replied to that owl telling him to talk to McGonagall, and to keep his friends close. It's not safe for me or Harry to leave the house. The rumors have gotten stronger and a lot of people have been quick to turn on Harry; we've gotten Owls... it's gotten to the point where if it's not an Owl from Ron, Hermione, Teddy, or someone we're expecting it from, I won't let him open it. I've burned about fifty letters in this week alone.

"It doesn't matter if I believe it... we can't think like that, or it will only feel worse." I reasoned. "If you start talking and thinking like that, then it will only make everything worse."

He blinked a couple of times, moving to hug me again, as we were before he'd begun talking. I allowed him to nuzzle into the crook of my neck, bringing my own arms around him as well. He sighed.

"It's just... difficult." I sighed in response to his statement.

"I know. But we have to focus on the positives. We can't constantly dwell on this situation we're in. It's really not healthy." _Especially not for you._ But I kept that portion of my statement out, knowing it wouldn't help in any way.

I brought my hand to his head, combing my fingers through his hair, feeling as he relaxed into my touch. It always seems to calm him down, and I don't complain- I love playing with his ever-so-messy black hair.

"I guess you're right, it's just... I don't know, I'm used to shitty situations, I guess." I gave him a peck on his hairline.

"Well, I'm here to turn your perspective... I know it's difficult, but you're strong. You've made it through hell and back and you're still breathing, you're still here." I said, continuing to pass my hand through his hair. There was a soft bit of silence where all that was heard was our breathing, or the occasional sound of the house creaking. Things were calm, and I was sure that Harry would fall asleep soon, that was, until a few simple words snapped me into full alertness:

"Is that necessarily a good thing though?"

I stopped hugging him, separating us so I could see him clearly.

"Harry...?" I was searching his eyes frantically for something, anything that would indicate whether his words were real cause for concern; his eyes were closed though, as if it were so simple and plain to question ones own living.

"Harry, it is always a good thing that you're here... How long have you been having these thoughts?" I asked, in disbelief that he would so casually think in such a way- concerned for what could be hiding beneath his words.

"It's nothing," he kept his eyes closed, trying to get closer to me. I backed away slightly.

"Harry please look at me." I waited in silence for him to open his eyes, and when he did, they were clouded over, hazy.

"It's nothing," he repeated. "It's not serious or anything. I haven't thought about it like that." He said, keeping his gaze down and away from me.

"Harry, you're sure?" I didn't know what to think. I felt my heart skip a beat waiting for his response. My throat was closing in anxiety.

"It's nothing." He repeated. I took a nervous breath.

"You know, Harry, people really love and care about you..." I started, reaching out to lift his head so we could look at each other. "Teddy, Ron, Hermione," I swallowed thickly. "All of the Weasley's, really. Me, Scorpius even... we'd be crushed if you weren't here anymore." _I'd be absolutely destroyed._

"They've all turned on me, Draco. I used to be suffocated by praise and now I'm being suffocated by looks and sneers. They're hurt. They think I killed Voldemort for my own personal gain now- not to save them. They feel betrayed and they're mad and they're turning on me-" he paused, taking in a breath. It was a moment before he decided he wasn't going to say anything else, staying quiet.

"They're idiots who can think what they want, Harry."

"It's almost like I died and came back for nothing. Maybe they just want me to stay dead next time-"

"Harry, stop. You're scaring me."

"Stop what-"

"You know what." I said, now angry and desperate to know- to be sure, and have secure knowledge that he's okay. I took a deep breath to calm down at least a bit, knowing that anger wouldn't help at all. "Don't say that, it's not true." I told him, growing upset at his ability to think of himself so harshly, growing sick at the thought of losing somebody else that I love. I felt my lip quiver. _I can't lose somebody else that I love- not again._

"Harry, you being alive is... the best thing." There was a silence. He was avoiding my eyes again. "Harry, please," I stroked his cheek, slowly lifting his chin. _If he isn't looking at me when I tell him, maybe he won't take it in fully. I need to see him- to see my words process in his mind. I need to know that he's listening._

"I don't know what I would do if you were gone... I need you to tell me, now: are you seriously thinking about it? About... offing yourself?" But I felt the blood leave my face as I asked him that, I felt a pang in my chest.

"I haven't thought about actually doing it... not since the last time." He said. Everything was in slow motion. I felt my chest being weighed down by an invisible anxious dread.

"...You're sure?" I asked, taking in every movement, every micro-expression, everything that could give me a glimpse into his mind, such as his lips: pressed into a thin line.

"I'm positive." I nodded- one nod- expecting more information, yet knowing he may not be willing to give more.

"And you'll talk to me if you do think that way? You'll tell me and you'll let us work through it?" He nodded.

At that moment I felt the sudden urge to hold him close and not let go, so that was precisely what I did. _I love you. Please don't leave me._

"Things will lull over. We just have to keep the best case scenario in mind- and we can't stir the pot more." I resorted to rubbing comfortingly up and down his spine as I spoke simple things such as 'it will be okay' and 'we all care about you so much.' Among other things. Time passed and soon I noticed his breathing evened out- he'd fallen asleep. I gave him a kiss on the forehead when I'd realized it, pushing his hair out of the way first. It was calm and quiet, when suddenly, I was racing out of the bedroom at the sound of my name as a scream- a cry- a wail. One that came from none other than Scorpius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers! How are you enjoying the story so far? Is there anything in particular that you like or dislike? Anything you think I can improve upon, put more or less of? Let me know in the comments! I am absolutely thrilled that you all have made it this far, and seem invested in the story. : )


	37. Chapter 37

—Draco POV—

Time passed and soon I noticed Harry's breathing evened out- he'd fallen asleep. I gave him a kiss on the forehead when I'd realized it, pushing his hair out of the way first. It was calm and quiet, when suddenly, I was racing out of the bedroom at the sound of my name as a scream- a cry- a wail. One that came from none other than Scorpius.

I opened the door, wand in hand, ready to assess what had made him call out for me with utter distress laced through his voice. With a flick of my wand, I lit the room, eyes landing on Scorpius, his eyes were watered- face screwed in hurt- and he was looking up at me with a painful sort of lost and confused expression, and was sat up in his bed with the covers removed. I noticed a stain on his pants and on his bed. He had gone in the sheets again.

"Oh, Scor..." I aimed at the wetness, removing any trace of the accident, before I sat down on the bed.

"I don't know why I keep going pee in the bed. I'm supposed to be a big kid!" He exclaimed, holding back tears. "I'm sorry- I don't know why- it's like I can't feel it anymore- I don't wake up and then everything is wet and warm and-" he began rambling breathlessly.

"Hey, hey," I said with a calm whisper. "It's alright. Remember, it's just your body reacting to the change. It's alright, it's no big deal. See? The stain is gone." I said, gesturing towards his red pajama pants with green dragons on them.

"But I'm a big kid and I keep going and I shouldn't- I can't feel it anymore at night I'm sorry I-"

"Shh, Scor, listen: it's alright, come here." I opened my arms to allow him a hug. "You're alright. Everything is okay." I felt as his tears seeped into the shoulder of my shirt. I rubbed up and down my sons back soothingly.

"What's wrong with me Dada?"

"Don't worry. You're alright, wetting the bed is just your body reacting to everything. It happens to people sometimes. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you." I reassured. After a second, I rocked us dramatically from side to side, earning a weak chuckle from Scorpius, which made me smile slightly.

"Let's try something," I told him. "What if we use the bathroom every night right before bed, and I'll set up night lights so it's easy for you to go to the bathroom at night if you need to. You like that idea?" After a bit of hesitation, he nodded against my shoulder.

"So, your first night alone without the dreamless sleep potion was not perfect, but I'm glad you got through most of the night. You did good." I explained. "Do you want to try to go back to bed on your own, or do you want me to stay here with you?" I asked, making it clear that he had the choice available to him.

"Can I go sleep with you and Harry in your room?" He asked with a shy voice. I paused briefly.

"Yeah, of course." I answered.

"Dada?"

"Yeah, Scor?"

"Why can't I control my pee-pee?" He asked, sniffling in- I was sure there was a bit of bogeys on the shoulder of my shirt where his head was resting. I felt as his small finger traced the small square-pattern weave of my sleeping shirt.

"I think you're stressed from us moving- and from not having Maria anymore, and the Boggart, too... everything is just different, and you're adjusting. It's really nothing bad, and it's not your fault." I explained honestly.

"What if I can never control it again?" He asked, sounding slightly scared.

"Oh it will go away- you will be able to control it again one day- I promise. It will just take A little bit of time." I let go of the hug, letting him sit in front of me. I wiped the tears from his pink face.

"Now dry those tears. I promise everything will be okay- there's nothing wrong with you- and it will all get better soon. And you know that I don't lie to you." I said, finishing with a playful smirk. He cracked a smile, clearly entertained by my facial expression.

"Do you trust me?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yeah." He said. I nodded, getting up from his bed.

"Good. Now, let's get you to bed okay? And remember, Harry is sleeping, so we have to be quiet." I clarified. His small hand gripped my large, skinny one, and he hopped off of his bed.

I used my wand to make his room go dark, and we left his room, hand-in-hand, to go to where Harry and I had previously been.

—Harry POV—

_ "Harry please don't- don't do this." I was shaking, my pants were soaked, and all I could think was  _ _do it, do it, do it._ _ But the knife clutched in my fist simply couldn't be brought up to my opposite arm, slashing through my skin like paper, creating an endless river of crimson. _

_"Please..." I heard- Draco's voice in a small, broken whisper. "let go." I looked into his eyes, breathing shallow. Everything hurt. I still couldn't seem to bring myself to do it._ _Why can't I bring myself to do it?_

_ After a moment, I let go of the knife, allowing Draco's hand to take it from mine. I closed my eyes, curling up to hug my knees. I heard the clatter of the knife the getting thrown down into the hallway through the open bathroom door, and Then I heard the water in the tub stop running. The scene shifted and changed rapidly into another familiar one, when Draco and I were sitting on the bed at my house back in America. _

_ "Make sure you never try to hurt yourself without talking to me about it first. And if you even think to kill yourself..." He squeezed my hand tightly. "If you ever even think about that, you get to me immediately. I don't care what it takes." Everything blurred again, distorting, morphing. I didn't recognize the next scene. _

_ There's a wand pointed at my throat- no- violently pushing onto my neck- pressing into my windpipe. It's my wand, and I am holding it. _

_ "Draco I need to do it- don't worry- you'll turn out better because of it. Don't worry, doing this is what we need. I've been hit with the curse twice. I'm in debt with the universe anyway." _

_ "Harry no-" _

My eyes shot open. I was sweating, panting. My heart felt like it was stuck in my throat, beating rapidly to un-lodge itself. I brought up a wobbly hand, clenching it and unclenching it. I could feel the weapon as if it was still in my hand. I sat up, struggling to steady myself. I feel weak. I'm wobbly and shaky and my throat is dry as parchment.

I turned my disorganized vision to my right, and I saw Draco sleeping on his back, breathing open mouthed, with Scorpius sleeping on top of him, rested on his chest.

I took in a chaste breath- _had I not been breathing properly before?_ I blinked a few times, swallowing a bit of saliva in a failed attempt to soothe my throat. I got my hands to somehow remove the covers from myself. My legs swung over the side of the bed and my feet somehow found their way to the cool floor beneath me. Everything felt like static muffled by layers and layers of foam. _I need water._ I licked my lips. My tongue running over the chapped and cracked peaks of broken skin.

I took each disoriented step out to the door of the room, my hand fumbling over the doorknob. When I got a hold of it, I found myself struggling to open the door. _Maybe it's because my other hand is pushing it closed._

I finally opened the door, walking out of the room and closing the door behind me. _Sleep. Water._ I found myself getting closer to the floor. _I feel too hot. Why is everything spinning?_ My chest is still pounding.

With my eyes already closed, I sat down on the cold floor of the corridor, taking my shirt off with arms that felt unsteady through to the bone. I laid down, letting the feeling of my sweat hit the icy tile- letting me feel the old lone scar across my lower back- the one from my final battle with Voldemort. I took a deep breath and draped my shirt over my eyes, letting my arms fall to either side of me, reaching the walls of the corridor. Before I knew it, I was asleep again.

I woke up again, light coming through the windows and hitting my chest, making it feel warm. After blinking a few times, I saw a blurry, pale-blond figure peering over me. I blinked again. _Where are my glasses?_ I used my arms to sit myself up. _Why am I on the floor? Where is my shirt?_

"Care to tell me why you're sleeping on the floor? And without a shirt?" It's Draco. He's holding my shirt too.

I stood up with a slight groan. Everything feels heavy and sluggish. I toppled forward into him, heaving with a sigh.

"Are you alright?" He said. He's really just standing there letting me collapse on him like it's nothing, and I couldn't be more grateful. Everything just feels... off. I answered his question with a shrug.

"Do you want to go to our bed?" He asked, I just stayed leaning into him. _If he moves, I'm going to land face-first onto the floor._

"What time is it?" I asked, my voice groggy and scratchy all at the same time.

"It's around 11:00AM. After all, we went to sleep late last night." He answered. "You sound like you need water." He commented. I nodded into his shirt.

"Let's go, I have a glass in the room." He put his hands on my shoulders, pushing me off of him steadily, guiding us the the bedroom.

"Where's Scorpius?" I asked, curiosity lacing my tired tone.

"He's downstairs. I told him we ought to make breakfast soon." He said, closing the door behind us. I took a sip of water from the glass on his nightstand, then crawled into the bed, curling up under the covers, and Draco followed after me.

"I don't want breakfast." I mumbled to him, still feeling slightly disoriented and weak. He gave me a raised eyebrow.

"You eat just barely enough at every meal, I'm not going to let you miss any; you know this." I closed my eyes, getting close enough to feel his warmth against me. There was this feeling that knotted in my chest, spreading throughout the rest of my body, making my heartbeat feel stronger and more distant at the same time, like it was being tied up by ropes. It made me feel like I couldn't- shouldn't stand, shouldn't function.

"I don't feel well." I simply responded, curling up and as close to him as I could possibly be. I was searching for the familiar comfort I always felt with him, but it seemed that every passing second had me shrinking more and more into myself, making me less aware of my surroundings, making me feel like I was floating over a black pool that's trying to suck me through to a vast, empty universe. I had to keep reminding myself that I'm in my bed even though I can barely feel it. I had to keep reminding myself that Draco is right next to me, practically up against me, but all I could feel was the warmth, nothing else.

"Harry?" I heard, clear as day yet, again, far off into an unforeseeable, unrecognizable distance. I shook off an imaginary shiver that somehow made its way to me- this uncomfortable numbing feeling of floating away was bothering me.

"Harry." I opened my eyes, slightly surprised by the sheer closeness between me and Draco. He's laying right in front of me and our faces are only centimeters apart. I hate this distant feeling. I hate that he's right here and I can't feel it.

"Are you okay?"

I closed my eyes, shaking my head. "I'm fine." _Way to contradict yourself, idiot._ I brought a shaking hand up to Draco's upper arm, at least, I'm 99% sure it was his upper arm. No, it _is_ his upper arm. _Why am I shaking so much?_ This wasn't like my usual anxious trembling; this made me feel physically weak, weak to my bones. It made me feel weary, and almost sick.

"Eating will help you." I heard. I shook my head. _I don't like to eat when I don't feel well, doesn't he know that?_ I thought, irritated.

The weak, pulsing feeling that was in my bones, that I'd been feeling since I woke up last night, had spread to the veins in my neck, making static ring through my ears and making my brain feel fuzzy.

I just faintly, barely felt a kiss on my hairline. _I hate this._

"Eating might be part of the reason you feel this way. You ate less than usual yesterday, and we both know: you eat just enough, not as much as you should." I heard him explain. _What does he think, I'm an idiot? I eat enough to function and not pass out or always feel the way I do right now. I eat enough to live half-normal. I enjoy every meal, I know what food is like. Why can't that be enough? So-what it's less than everyone else? He hadn't bothered me about it then, why does he have to bring it up now?_ I thought, growing angry at my inability to feel his now multiple attempts at comforting me over the past half-hour or so. I'm not sure. It was long enough for Scorpius to eventually call for us, to which Draco gave a response, I don't remember what.

He's rubbed up and down my back, he's brushed through my hair, hugged me, kissed me, even tried to continue the conversation more quietly- whispering to me. It all made me more irritated and angry. I pushed away, standing by the bed. My head was spinning and it only made me feel more distant. _I need to feel something, anything._ I dragged myself to a sitting position on the floor, knees to my chest, hands pulling at my hair. I felt something tug me away, I heard a voice. I began to panic. _Why can't I feel? Why can't I recognize my surroundings?_

Everything is blurry and I can no longer do anything to suppress the shaking, which was now the most painfully familiar feeling in the world. _I have felt this before, just never for such a consistently long time._ I brought my arms closer together, scratching. _Why can't I feel it?_

My breath caught in my throat. Now my lungs feel clogged, like they've hardened into a ceramic piece. _I can't breathe._ There's something by me, a feeling somewhere between my chest and my arms. I shut my eyes tight, scrunching up my face. I'm light headed. _Breathe._ I scratched myself harder, something pulled me away, I clasped my hands around my opposite arms. It burns. _I felt something._

I finally felt something. I felt as my nails dug deeper into my arms, leaving raw marks around my old scars. I felt as a scream of frustration ripped through my throat, making it feel dry as sandpaper. I felt the heat rushing through my face. I felt the numb lack of blood where I had previously held myself. I felt the pain in my head as I hit it against a wall.

I felt the salty wetness of my tears as they began to flow. I felt the rush of air to my lungs, pushing them to work again as I gasped for the air I lacked. I felt a hand on my arm, softly holding it as another hand guided me into a sideways laying position on someone's lap. I felt Draco shush me softly as I gripped whatever part of his pajama pants I could in overwhelming guilt, frustration, and sadness. I felt him comb his fingers through my hair as he told me 'I'm here, don't worry, you're okay now.' I felt the fire in my throat residing from my dehydration and my screaming. I felt the dizziness come from my head that was still spinning wildly. I felt my breathing get quieter, still pushing through my lungs with the utmost force. 

"The nightmares are getting bad again, aren't they..." he said, still caressing my hair. I nodded slightly, feeling drained.

"I'm going to make breakfast, and you are going to eat some- it helps, I promise."


	38. Chapter 38

—Teddy POV—

"I'm so glad class is over." I heard Luca say as he sprinted to catch up to me. "Hey, are we still going to study together in the library tonight?"

I gave a shrug, continuing to walk beside him. "I don't know. Maybe not today." I told him, keeping my head down.

"You can't really be scared that they're going to do something to you." He said dramatically, rolling his eyes. The corner of my lips quirked up at his expressiveness. I don't really see it around anyone else- he gets too shy around them.

"Well, I've already gone to Pomfrey three times since school started last month. You can't entirely blame me." I said, fixing my bag which was sliding off my shoulder. "I might as well make friends with the Quidditch teams since they're probably the only kids in school who've gone more than me already." I said, slightly joking. This earned me a snicker from Luca.

"Well, I'll be there waiting for you anyway. And try not to let those kids control your life. Try to get out more. You don't even talk to your roommates for crying out loud! Stop being so scared." He told me. I would roll my eyes, but I heard the genuine concern in his voice. Soon, the Great Hall was in our sight.

"I promise I'll try to talk to people more." I told him, seeing a smile come across his features. His smile always seemed to trigger one for myself as well.

"Good. Well, see you at Herbology after lunch." He told me as we approached the entryway. I waved goodbye as we went out separate ways. He plopped down at the Slytherin table, beginning to serve himself the usual small amounts of food he eats. I sat in my usual seat alone, and I was preparing to have a lunch like any other, until Professor McGonagall- she told us to just call her Professor- stood at the podium at the front of the hall, silencing us to make an announcement.

"Attention, students: Professor Belmonte will be holding tryouts after today's classes for all students interested in Muggle Bowling. You must report to the Quidditch Locker rooms as soon as you are dismissed for the day. They will last no later than four o'clock. Quidditch captains, you will be having a team collaboration at five o'clock today."

I glanced around the hall as soon as the familiar buzz of chatting students came about, and spotted Luca, who gave me a simple nod. I nodded in return. We had previously discussed the possibility of bowling together. Suddenly, I was met face-to-face with Bonnie, who plopped down into the seat in front of me.

"Hi Teddy, I wanted to let you know that I'm going to try bowling, and I wanted to know if you wanted to do so as well. I think it will be fun, especially since we never see each other in classes." She said animatedly, serving herself a spoonful of mashed potatoes.

"Sure. I think Luca is going to try as well." I replied.

"Well tons of first years are trying. Especially since we can't play quidditch. I don't think there will be a lot of higher years on the team." She commented.

"I guess you're right." I told her, putting a spoonful of soup into my mouth. _Maybe bowling won't be so bad if I have both of my friends with me._

————

It's currently 3:30, and classes ended a half hour ago. _I'm surely late to bowling._  
 _Luca must be thinking I've left him- Bonnie too._ I was quickly making my way down the corridors, fixing my robes in the process, and combing through my hair. _What did I do to make people start stupid rumors that other people believed?_ I thought sourly, remembering my most recent encounter with Animata and her best friend Jill. They didn't do anything bad, just a simple shove and some words along the lines of 'Heard there's a full moon coming. Where do you go to transform?'

I ignored them as I got up, telling them to shove off under my breath. And soon I was making large strides across the courtyard, seeing the locker rooms in the distance. As soon as I got to the doors, I opened them up, causing all eyes to be on me.

"Ah, Mr Lupin, so glad you could join us. Why don't you find an empty seat?" He told me, gesturing towards the benches lined with students. Bonnie gave me a smile and a small wave when I saw her. Among other students were Jill, two of my roommates- Gabriel, and Wendy- and Luca, sitting at the far end of the benches, and with an empty spot where he had draped his robes to prevent others from sitting down. I felt a shy smile come across me as I sat down beside him, whispering a thanks.

Apparently, we were going to be learning to bowl the Muggle way, before learning to use Magic to manipulate the ball, and make the game more interesting. We would create our own in-school friendly Wizarding Competitions, and, with permission, maybe even enter in a few Muggle ones. Professor Belmonte was animated and lively as he introduced this club to us, as well as walking us through a brief history of the Muggle Sport, as well as his own experience competing and learning to use magic to his advantage.

After everything, we left with the promise that we would be beginning the basics of bowling next Wednesday, borrowing the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom that Professor Diggle had supposedly already agreed to giving to us for our practices.

"You know, for a second I thought you wouldn't show." Said Luca with a nervous laugh, one hiding a sort of anxious questioning I noticed he seems to do.

"I don't break promises Luca, you know that." I said, trying to keep things lighthearted.

"What happened?" He asked curiously. I shrugged.

"Just Aminata and one of her friends. It was nothing anyway. It's not like I got hurt." I told him honestly.

"Ted, you have to tell someone about this, it's going a bit far, don't you think?"

"I'm fine. Besides, why bother perfectly busy people? I can just focus more of my energy on school work. Let them be arses, so what?" I explained, slightly defensive. I noticed Luca become a bit smaller. His hair also went from his usual brown, to black. He was embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be harsh. I said, stopping abruptly. My hair turned navy blue. As I looked at him with concern. Spending so much time around each other means we know which Metamorphagus changes indicate what the other is feeling. It's actually quite nice knowing another Metamorphagus kid. We play around with it often.

"It's fine, you just caught me a bit off guard... I guess I just wanted to suggest Owling your Godfather. You have said how you trust him." He said, shuffling his feet. I felt my eyes shift colors and I made myself a bit taller, putting my head down in thought.

"I've already told you he has his own things to deal with." I said shortly, remembering the reason he wasn't taking care of me anymore. I could see in his expression that he wanted to say something more, but thankfully, he decided against it. His hair went back to its normal short, curly brown.

"So... library at eight? We can study for potions together." He said awkwardly, hands in his pockets. I didn't realize that we had stopped walking and were standing against the wall of a corridor. The halls were cleared minutes before. _We must have really been caught up in conversation._

"Yeah. I'll be there." I told him. I watched as he walked away with his head down. All I could think was _How can life get so messy in a few short months?_


	39. Chapter 39

—Harry POV—

We were about to eat lunch when I got the call.   
I remember answering the phone only to be met with an absolutely speechless Ron trying and failing to form the words he needed to tell me.

_"Harry..."_ sniffling and crying. Ron doesn't usually do that. The look of alarm on my face was what told Draco that whatever this phone call was, it wasn't good, it wasn't recreational.

It was Hermione who took the phone and told me we had to come immediately. She seemed to also be struggling to say words, ultimately not telling me, just saying _"You need to come to St Mungo's right now."_

And so that's what we did.

"Can we bring Scorpius?" I asked for Draco, who I already know was thinking it.

_"I'd rather you not... take him to my house- Luna and Neville are there."_ She said with a cracked voice, barely managing.

_"Harry it was just awful-"_ I heard her sob from the other line. My mind started racing, thinking of who could have been sent to the hospital. _It obviously wasn't Ron or Hermione, thankfully, but who was it? What had happened? Who made Ron so absolutely speechless?_

I watched as Draco, masking his own alarmed expression, went to Scorpius, who was patiently solving a one hundred-piece puzzle.

"Scor, something has happened. You're going to be staying with some friends of ours with Rose." I watched as Scorpius's innocent face looked up at Draco, looking into his dads eyes. Draco just stared with an urgency that burned. Hesitating for a second, he slowly got up, holding Draco's hand.

"I promise we won't be long. We'll be able to have dinner tonight and sleep together too. Don't worry." He told Scorpius, seemingly reading him like a book.

Arriving at Ron and Hermione's house, I was met with Rose, who was being kept from her parents by Luna, who was holding a crying brunet baby- James- and kept saying.

"It's okay Rose, they just need a bit of space." She said in her ever-calm voice. But in her eyes I can see that even she was shaken by the news. It was frustrating not knowing what was happening, who was hurt- or dead. _Is it Ginny? Is she hurt? What happened to her?_

A seven-year old Victorie Weasley, along with Molly II, and her younger sister Lucy were all sitting off in the corner, looking down at their laps, not speaking. Neville was in a chair in the dining room, consoling a nine-year old Fred II, who was crying just as hard as Hermione.

Hermione was on the couch, sobbing into Ron's shoulder. Ron was frozen in shock, tears falling uninterrupted, eyes glazed over in an unfixed distance.

When Hermione was able to compose herself, she lead Ron to stand, going towards the fireplace without a 'hello' to me or Draco. The only recognition she gave to our presence was motioning for us to go first. So, after Draco gave a few last words to Scorpius, who was intelligent enough to know something was deeply wrong, I grabbed his hand with a death grip, scared of what I was going to be met with on the other side. We stepped into the fireplace, a knot forming within my stomach, and, threw a fistful of floo powder to our feet, I yelled:

"Saint Mungo's Hospital."

Green flames erupted, swallowing us in a warmth as we were sucked and pulled through to the Saint Mungo's floo system, where many visitors come visit through. Stepping out of the fireplace and brushing myself off, I scanned the area, noticing a large bunch of read-headed people- the Weasley's.

Percy was at the front desk, arguing with the lady working there, and ignoring his wife, who was telling him: "Calm down, they're working as quickly as they can, it's okay."

Percy kept yelling at the lady: "We have been waiting for fifteen minutes! Surely it doesn't take that long to pump somebody's stomach and give them a simple antidote!" My mind twisted. _Was someone poisoned? Did somebody overdose?_

Molly was crying into Aurthur's shoulder, and Ginny was off to the side with Charlie. Her face pale, and visibly holding back tears, with the same shock-ridden expression she had the day she found me in the bathtub with a knife. So _Ginny is okay- but then, what's happened?_

I saw Bill leaning into Fleurs shoulder as she rubbed up and down in a soothing manner. Ron and Hermione came out of the floo, and Ron ran ahead of everybody to his mum, them giving each other a bone crushing hug. I felt Draco squeeze my hand tightly. I returned it, walking up to the distressed family. I was immediately given a squeeze by Molly.

"Oh, dear, how are you? Are you alright? Thank you for coming on such short notice." She wiped her eyes with a handkerchief.

"I'm alright Molly, what's happened here?"

"Oh, dear..." she looked at me with a motherly expression- one that was broken, no, shattered. I hadn't seen her that way since Fred...

"Where's George?" I asked, suddenly realizing I didn't see him in the giant bundle of red-headed family members.

"Mate," I turned to Ron, who seemed to be slightly better, still pale-faced though. I'll never forget the next words he uttered to me, how they made both me and Draco stiffen, how it ran a chill throughout my body, making the hairs on the back of my neck raise, and my head grow dizzy and light. Never in a million years would I have expected it to happen, let alone to any of the Weasley's, ever. Especially not George- at least, not the George I grew up knowing- Fred's twin brother.

"Mate, today, I was supposed to help George do inventory at the shop- he was going to keep it closed so we could do that... He said to be there at noon, I guess he got there a lot earlier.

I... I showed up, to help him, and I found him just, lying there... there was a note... he just, he missed Fred a bit much, I guess." I removed my hand from Draco's, bringing my hands up to Ron's shoulders. We stayed quiet for a second, before I brought him into a hug. As soon as I did, he broke down sobbing.


	40. Chapter 40

—Draco POV—

There are some days where Harry and I can't get enough of each other, days where we lock ourselves in the room and kiss like we never will again, days where our hands roam freely about each other's bodies- feeling the affect we have on each other. It's days like these that I feel most guilty for not yet having told Harry I love him. After all, how could we so freely give up our bodies, succumbing to each other's will, and still not have told each other that it was so much more than that?

After all, to me, it is so, _so_ much more than that. I do love Harry; I have for quite a bit of time. But, I can't bring myself to say it. The last time I told somebody how I felt, she felt the same way. We got married and we had a child, only for her to be ripped from my grasp- taken by a cruel, invisible, merciless monster: death.

Ever since George was brought to the hospital last week, everyone has been walking on a tightrope around not only him, but Harry too. It seems they still haven't forgotten that he tried to do the same thing just a year earlier. George was indeed released the next morning. It was much to everyone's shock when he would only speak to Harry, or his wife and son. 

He had apologized profusely to Ron, saying it was just an accident, and that he hadn't planned to be found by his youngest brother. Ron was in some sort of confused state- a sort of foggy area where he just couldn't listen to anything until he finally processed that he'd almost lost another brother, again.

Harry has been a lot more silent lately. He's been eating less, and I've had to argue with him more than once about not missing meals. It's draining, and I dread whenever I can sense our raising tempers colliding, because we don't hold back around each other, and we act like we used to when we were younger.

He's also been more worried about Ginny, who keeps insisting that she doesn't need help with the baby. She'd been really quite polite about it too, until one day she'd just had it, and she yelled at him, telling him she can't breathe when he's around her, and that she doesn't want to look at him, because "some unreasonable part of my brain keeps telling me that George got the idea from you."

Harry really got bad after that. It was a struggle for me- I'd never _really_ dealt with him when he consistently refuses to take his medicine and just stays in bed unmoving, day after day. I had almost forgotten what it was like to wake up every night to calm him down after a particularly frightening nightmare, or one he thought was real. He still kept his wand on him- really next to him, always in his line of sight. "Just in case," he always says. It breaks my heart, seeing the star he's in, feeling like I can't help him.

He's been more timid around me, and it was reminding me a lot more of how he was when I met him at the supermarket more than a year ago. Most nights, he would sleep away from me- as far to the edge of the bed as he could- and he wouldn't even say goodnight. Other nights, he would wait until he thought I was asleep, then wordlessly curl into me- hugging me as if he was never going to be able to do it again- and after a long while, I would feel him tremble as he held me tight, and I would hear him sniffle, and stifle painfully audible cries.

He's also been trying to hurt himself more; I know because he's told me when he gets the urge. I don't know whether to be happy that he's letting me help with that, or sad that it's been happening to him so much more lately.

I've also found that he hurts himself more in the midst of panic than he does just because he wants to. This is why he still, despite my many attempts to help him, has new marks along his chest and arms. He tries to get through his panic attacks alone; he'll just say he needs the bathroom, and then it happens.

We got into one of many arguments when I told him that he wasn't going to be using the restroom alone anymore because of this. We've also gotten into arguments over his distance, him thinking that I'm worrying too much, and the prophets bullshite article about _The Weasley Tragedy_ , among other things.

I don't say it out loud, and I wouldn't dare tell Harry, but I'm worried that I'll wake up any day now and he'll be lying on the bathroom floor in a pool of blood, or hanging from the ceiling of Sirius's old bedroom, maybe just in my potions room, seizing and foaming at the mouth because he's shoved as many different poisonous ingredients as he could fit down his throat. Because of this, I feel like I need to tell him I love him, just so that he doesn't leave me wondering if this was real. At the same time though, I don't want to tell him, because it will make this all more real for me, and doubly painful if something happens and I can't save him.

Scorpius has noticed something isn't right. When you think about it, the unnerving silence and the arguments spurting randomly throughout the week make it quite obvious. The struggle to get Harry to join us at meals, or at all, is obvious to him. Anyone with a brain would know something is wrong. This is precisely why he's tried to start hiding the stains he makes in the bed, and has been waking up and staying up in the middle of the night after another nightmare about somebody dying or leaving him.

This is why I start most nights with Harry, and end most nights with Scorpius. This is also why I've been spending every spare minute lately to brew, bottle, and store dreamless sleep potions and calming draughts. They work for Scorpius, but I don't want him to become dependent on them, which is why he doesn't take it every night. He also doesn't truly need it every night, just the nights when I'm not with him- the nights when I can just tell, with one look at Harry, that he needs me, even if he won't utter a single word about it.

One night I tried to get Harry to take a dreamless sleep potion, much to his protest. I've discovered that while it helps him fall asleep- something he's always struggled with- it does nothing to remedy his dreams, or stop him from waking up in a panicked frenzy. It simply isn't strong enough for him.

The calming draughts work, but they also seem to make Harry mad and rigid. I'd never seen anything like it, and it's not a known side effect of the potion. When he's mad, we argue, then we're both on the wrong side of the day. This is why he doesn't take the calming draughts. It makes him unreasonably upset and explosive.

I've been drained- physically and emotionally. I need time alone, not standing in the corner of the bathroom while Harry uses the loo and not talking to Scorpius about his mum and about how, for the upteenth time, I am not going anywhere.

I feel bad for thinking that. The two people I care about most need my help, and it's overwhelming. I don't have time for myself anymore. I'm always with Scorpius, or with Harry. _I just need a break._


	41. Chapter 41

—Harry POV—

"I still wake up sometimes thinking he's here. I end up having to feel the pain of his death all over again, like it's brand new." I tore my eyes from the sleeve I was fiddling with, up to George, who was sitting next to me, cross-legged, and staring at the quilted pattern of his bedsheets, just like I had been only seconds ago. I couldn't help but feel guilty about Fred, after all, he'd died protecting me, fighting for me, fighting because of me.

Hermione had called me earlier, saying that George needed me. After a bout of internal debate, I got out of bed for the first time in what felt like an eternity, and flooed to George's house. Now, we're sitting next to each other in a bit of a tense silence, talking about stuff that apparently only the two of us understand.

"I know you think a lot of these deaths are your fault, Harry... I know that's part of the reason why you tried to off yourself." He said, turning to face me. "I understand that. Sometimes I wonder if I could have stopped Fred from dying." He said, sounding slightly nervous.

"It wasn't your fault, if that's what you're thinking..." I said, at a slight loss for words.

"I could say the same to you." He replied, leaving me silenced yet again. We stayed staring at each other for a moment, before George hastily pulled up his sleeve, adjusting it to stay above his elbow.

"Show me yours if I show you mine?" I swallowed, trying and failing to avoid seeing the lines neatly drawn onto his wrist. I glanced up at him, before looking back down at his arm. Snapping out of my daze, I pulled up my own sleeve, feeling my heart skip a beat. _He doesn't need to see both of my arms._

Mine were obviously performed with much more haste than his, erratic, overlapping, and varying greatly in depth and length. There  
was nothing neat about the marks on my arm; they just looked like the embodiment of an internal fight.

"They don't understand- the others. You do, you know what it's like to have your mind tell you to leave everything behind because you feel there's nothing left." He said, looking at me and letting his sleeve drop. I gratefully did the same, still feeling speechless.

"Ever since Fred left, I've been missing entire portions of myself. I guess twins really are connected. I'd never imagined us being apart until the battle. Watching him die felt like having my heart get squeezed and ripped out.

I thought I was over it. I tried reopening our shop, I named my own son after him. I- I don't know what happened. Two weeks ago, I walked in and I just remembered everything all over again. I remembered that he's supposed to be here with me. Or maybe I'm supposed to be there with him."

By now George was in tears as he spoke. I could only ask myself why he trusted me of all people. After all, what if Ginny was right? What if he got the idea to leave because of me? _He probably trusts me because I won't pity him. Maybe Ginny is right and he doesn't care because being driven to that mentality does things only few understand._ I thought.

"It doesn't really matter though, as long as we're together, right?" He said, letting out a sort of helpless laugh. "Sometimes, I can hear him talking to me, telling me about how he misses me, and everyone else too.

You seem to have been more silent lately; have you found you prefer it that way?" I didn't answer him. It just seems that words haven't been my strong suit lately. He looked down, pursing his lips and taking my silence as an answer. I looked back down as well. This conversation was probably a lot more one sided than he thought it would be. I was searching my brain for the will to speak, silence is only rude. Well, I've been quite rude to Draco, and everyone else recently too.

"I know that it hurts, being apart... but it will hurt more having you both gone." I said with a dry throat.

"So, it turns out he does speak." Said George, commenting on my response.

"I'm serious." I told him, voice hoarse and quiet.

"No, you're Harry." I looked at him intently, and he glanced back at me, then back down to his lap.

"I know, now's not the time for jokes, I guess. Sorry." He said shortly.

"It's okay. That's actually the first joke I've heard you make in a while." I replied after a moment. I saw the ghost of a smile come, bringing a small chuckle with it, before both left his face just as quickly, without a trace.

"I called you over because I know what happened with Ginny last week. I just wanted to let you know I didn't get the idea from you. I've thought it over plenty of times over the last decade." I felt my chest tighten, and my jaw tense. I suddenly felt a pressure on my heart that I hadn't felt before. It's never pleasant to entertain the idea of your own absence, not ever, especially not for a whole ten years- I should know, I've contemplated it for far longer without telling a soul.

"You really do prefer silence nowadays, don't you." I swallowed, trying to ignore the rapid pitter-patter of my chest, and my sudden sweating.

"You know, I was a mess the day I heard what you tried to do." He started. "I think of you as a brother. It hurts to know that you saw no other way out of the thoughts that plagued your mind. I was scared to talk to you because I was thinking the same way. At least now you know that I understand it too, you know?" He said, letting the quiet consume us again.

"I'm glad you let Draco talk you out of it. He's changed, really, he has. You can see it in everything he does. I don't know whether to say that life treated him right, or that life treated him so horribly that he changed for the better... He's treating you right, no?" I nodded quickly. Draco is really not like he used to be, and I've fallen completely in love with the man he's become.

"I'm glad that he's there to help you. Try not to push him away too much on your bad days. He's probably the most willing to put up with it." Said George, quite candid in his speech. I licked my lips, furrowing my brows in thought. _I really have been pushing away the one person that has helped me the most, the one person who cares enough to go as far as brewing potions and making sure I don't hide in the bathroom to panic alone. The one person who lets me be a complete arse, and is right there the next day when I'm breaking down in his arms._

"He cares a lot." I said shortly, suddenly feeling bad that I've been so ignorant to him lately.

"I know he does; we spoke in the hospital. He apologized too- for Fred. I didn't think I'd ever hear those words leave his mouth." Said George. After some more quiet, he spoke again.

"You know, even though I'm only three years older than you, I still look at you and think you're that little eleven year old that became my little brother's best friend on the train. I almost don't believe you're a complete adult who's been married and divorced and has taken care of children and is an entire Godfather- you're still just a kid to me. You're like another little brother. It feels like it's impossible for you to feel the things you do. I feel like you shouldn't have to get hurt by such dark feelings so young. But then again, I guess I'm a bit young too."

"We were all a bit young George- War isn't something that reserves itself for older people. It affects everyone, no matter what."

"But the war isn't the only thing that happened to you- it may have dictated your life, but don't think I haven't done my reading. Those Muggle books, they go into a bit of detail with your relatives. Of course, I remember my own things as well. I remember when Ron told us we were going to fly the Ford Anglia to the Muggle World to rescue you. I didn't think that what was happening went as far as the books described, though."

"Who else knows? About the Dursley's?" I asked, feeling my throat close up.

"Anyone who's read those books knows. And they're spreading like a wildfire- especially among Muggle-Borns, and Half-Bloods who have a Muggle parent. They don't know about what's going on now though- that last book is how you know that what she wrote isn't entirely true. It almost reminds me of how Rita Skeeter writes. It describes you married to Ginny, with three children." He chuckled. "It clearly couldn't be further from the truth." He said, holding his arms out and gesturing towards me. "I mean, you're into blokes now. And James isn't your child." I froze.

"James is described as... mine?" I asked cautiously.

"Oh, yes! He's also older-"

"But George, James isn't even a year old. How would anyone be able to write a book with him in it so long ago?" We looked at each other, eyes widening in realization.

"Joanne Rowling can't be a Muggle if she knows about him- there's no way- she must be a Witch- someone who knows divination." He told me.

"Someone who could have predicted my future." I said breathlessly.

"Trelawney." We said in unison.

"She writes too, doesn't she?" I asked.

"But I've only ever seen works under her own name-"

"That doesn't mean she hasn't disguised herself." I interrupted. I was becoming angry. Professor Trelawney was so... kind. The accusation felt wrong.

"Are you absolutely sure it's her?"

"Do you know any other seers?"

"Well you don't have to be a seer to learn divination." I was silenced yet again, deep in thought. _Was it her? I don't want to believe that it was. She enjoyed predicting my death every year, not the birth of my future spouse's child._

"I should talk to Hermione about this..." I said cautiously, standing from the bed, head spinning.

"Understandable. But hey, before you leave," I looked up at him.

"It wasn't your fault... and if it helps, I'm going to see a professional about it soon. A Muggle professional."

"Isn't that a bit dangerous at the moment?" I asked curiously.

"Maybe, but I can't keep going the way I have. I can't just stay here and pretend I've gotten over it." He answered. I looked at him thoughtfully, then he spoke again:

"Be careful? Please? And, if you need anything, just give me a call. I can see you haven't been so spectacular lately." I gave him a stiff nod, walking out his bedroom door. Closing the door behind me, I took a deep breath, then apparated home.


	42. Chapter 42

—Harry POV—

As soon as the flames subsided and I stepped out of the fireplace, I saw Draco motion for Scorpius to go upstairs, then, he stood up, going towards me.

"Hello." I told him, brushing myself off.

"Hey. How was it? What did he need?"

"We just talked about stuff; I guess he wasn't willing to talk about it with anyone else." I said with a shrug.

"I see." He said, looking me up and down with a careful eye. "And you're alright?" I nodded, keeping my head down. _I've been insufferable to him and he just shrugs it off like nothing._

I didn't even acknowledge the tears on my cheek until Draco gently lifted my chin, wiping them with his thumb. The second we made eye contact, I knew that I just couldn't take it anymore. I closed my eyes, tackling him into an embrace, holding on tight, _tight_. If I let go, I might shatter.

He returned the hug the second I'd started it; I relished in his warmth and comfort as I cried quietly into his shoulder. _Having him here makes things better. Even my worst moments are better with him. Even when I actively push him away, it feels nice to know he's pushing right back._

"I'm sorry." I mumbled in a sort of lost whisper. "I'm sorry that I'm just... such a git. I'm sorry you have to put up with me and my bullshit."

I felt his hand go to my hair, caressing it softly. I leaned into him, wanting nothing but his comfort at the moment. "Harry, you don't need to apologize for a single thing. You're struggling, you're pushing people away because it's what you're used to; you still aren't used to talking. That's okay. I know how it feels. I also know that it doesn't help- I know because that's what I've always done. I've always kept everybody at a distance." He paused for a second before speaking again. "I'm here for you. I won't let you isolate yourself no matter how hard you try." At this I let out a trembling sob.

"I'm not okay- I'm not okay and I don't know what to do. My mind just doesn't stop- It's swallowing me up, Dra-" I stopped myself, needing to catch my breath. I decided not to even continue speaking. I just don't have the will to do it. He hugged me tighter, and I, in turn, pressed us even closer together- as if that were possible.

After a moment, Draco shifted in our hold, creating a small bit of distance so he could look me in the eyes. He stared as if he were contemplating for a moment, before leaning in and giving me a sweet, gentle kiss.

"Every day, I thank my lucky stars that you're here, Harry. I'm not going to let you go so easily." I closed my eyes again, leaning into him, and weaving our hands together, squeezing once, twice, three times. _I love you._

 _I love you so much that I'm too nervous to say it. I love you so much that all of the obstacles I'm facing can't stop me from wanting you- only you. I love you so much that I can't get enough of the warm, freeing feeling that erupts in my chest when we're together._ I squeezed three more times. _I love you._

All of these words flew through my mind, yet, when I opened my mouth ever so slightly, only a sob would leave me, wracking my body and leaving me utterly speechless. I squeezed three more times. _I love you._

He squeezes back every time- one tight, long, warm, gentle squeeze- and it makes me wonder if he knows what I'm trying to say when I do it. I wonder if he feels the same way- I wonder what all of this means to him. I wonder if we're both just too scared to tell each other, or if one of us just doesn't reciprocate the feeling.

"Do you want to go lay down?" He asked with a voice like silk. I managed to nod, and with a hand on the small of my back, he led us up to the room we've been sleeping in every night.

Laying down, he got close to me, and I didn't hesitate to hug him again and just stay in his warmth and comfort, loving every second of it, feeling closer to him than ever before. I let my tears fall calmly, allowing my thoughts and feelings to leave me freely, without worry or guilt. It was the first time I'd actually genuinely let myself cry without being pressured by the overwhelming urge to stop myself. All Draco did was lay there and let me cry comfortably, without me sobbing or sending tremors through my body, without feeling my chest tighten as I struggled to breathe, without feeling overwhelmed. He just laid there rubbing my back with one arm, while the other pushed a stray hair out of my face, allowing the eternal mystical silver of his eyes to clash with the deep forest green of my own. He leaned in, giving me a quick kiss, then whispering:

"I'm glad you're finally letting it out." Another kiss, this time on my nose. "You can always let it out with me." Another, now on my forehead. "It's okay to be struggling as long as you let yourself get better." Then back to my lips. "I care about you, so _so_ much. You don't know how much. And I'm there for you- for everything." He wiped my eyes. "Don't ever forget that."

————

I stood on the other side of her kitchen. Hermione was staring at me; her shoulders were slumped, the small knife dripping with purple-colored berry juices being numbly held at her side, and her face baring an expression of pure exhaustion, disbelief, and annoyance.

"Professor Trelawney? No." She shook her head, handing Rose the now prepared bowl of berries before walking to the living room. I followed her.

"Well who else do you think it could be? Who could predict that James was going to be born and then write about it in their own skewed way like that?" I asked incredulously. Professor Trelawney is the only answer that makes sense- as incorrect as it feels.

"Listen, Harry. Divination may be a whole bunch of rubbish, but being a seer is still a thing." She began to explain, but I cut her off.

"And we know that Professor Trelawney is a seer-"

"Harry, she's nothing but a fraud teaching dodgy magic as a third-year elective."

"Just because you didn't like her class doesn't mean you can call her a complete fraud, Hermione. She's still made predictions- written prophecies." I argued, becoming increasingly irritated at her pettiness showing now of all times.

"Okay, fine. _Pretend_ that Divination isn't a giant pile of codswallop: according to theory, Crystal gazing, tarot cards, and numerology- which can all be performed by any witch or Wizard that believes- " she rolled her eyes, speaking about the subject in a mocking tone: "all only give you glimpses into the future, not the whole picture. Someone could have just made an inaccurate prediction about you and wanted to add it to an already slightly inaccurate story just to make it sell more. If this person knew you were married to Ginny, then used a Crystal ball and saw a child, they could have guessed the rest of it. Honestly this is why I just don't pay any mind to Divination. Flipping a card that says 'You will have between one and three children'" she rolled her eyes again. "sounds pretty standard- it's all just mindless guessing." She ranted, looking at me like I had interrupted her from the busiest, most important thing ever just to talk to her about what she thought of as stupid.

"But-"

"How about you stop coming over for all of the tragedies and emergencies, and actually start being a friend again. Don't give us a heart attack and then try to move on like it was nothing when we're all scared out of our wits that the slightest word will make you slit your wrists. Then, we can talk. Goodbye, Harry.


	43. Chapter 43

—Draco POV—

Feeling weary and strained, I stumbled down the hallway, through the door, to our bedroom. The early morning sun was shining, pouring its light and warmth through the house, but all I could think of was how my feet became heavier with each step I took.

I closed the door behind me, heaving a sigh as my eyes trailed to Harry- pale, skinny, and worn looking Harry. Yesterday, he'd had another breakdown. This time, because of the Weasley family. Harry spoke of Fred and the war, and how it was his fault that the twins are where they are now. That it was his fault Ginny is a single mother, and that he was the one who had draped the blanket of grief that the Weasley's always seemed to have over them now.

I spent yesterday trying to calm him down, to have him see the weight of the circumstances, and the fact that No, it wasn't his fault. The fact that the War had just worn them thin, like it did to everyone else. He didn't cry yesterday- he was too mad at himself. As for me, trying to settle and extinguish a blind rage fueled by self hatred that has been bubbling for eleven years isn't a cinch. I had to stop him from scratching the daylights out of himself and hitting himself. It's difficult for me to watch because I care about him so much and I just can't stand the times when I don't succeed in stopping him. He refused to eat lunch and dinner even as I had insisted he eat at least some of it. He decided that he just couldn't stomach it, saying he'd throw up if he tried.

While I've still managed to make sure he doesn't skip the vast majority of meals, his food intake has been decreasing steadily. It's gotten to the point where they were portions fit for Scorpius, sometimes even less. The first few times, I let it slide, thinking it was leftover tiredness because of the turmoil in his head, eyeing him carefully as he ate, and making sure he got something in. But, on the eve of the fourth night, I snapped, asking why he's eating like a bird. The problem was that I didn't say it in any manner that could be considered even remotely friendly. We argued that night, and for a few days after, we were sour towards each other. I would look at him and scowl, masking my overwhelming concern for him. He would look at me in the same way he would back at Hogwarts- with a fuming anger. But this time, I could see the pain swirling through his eyes. I hadn't seen _that_ at Hogwarts. We were acting like children again, if I'm being honest.

Things have calmed down significantly since then, and he slept through this past night, which was surprising to me- he hasn't been sleeping much lately, but then again, neither have I.

I snapped out of my daydream when I noticed Harry shift in the bed. Yawning and stretching his arms out, he opened his eyes, looking at me with a smile so faint that I wasn't sure if I was imagining it.

"Good morning." I whispered softly, observing as he twisted around stretching his whole body as his smile grew to be just noticeable, and definitely not from my imagination. He seems to be doing better today than yesterday. That made me happy. But, maybe he was just happy to have gotten a good sleep in.

"Good morning," He said, catching another yawn.

"How did you sleep?" I asked, going towards the bed, the soft, warm bed that my body was just aching for.

"I slept well," he moved over so I could sit by him. "You left last night?" He asked curiously. His voice was still groggy from sleep, it was another little quirk I liked about him, how his voice changes when he wakes up. I nodded in response to his question.

"Scorpius had another nightmare. He came in here looking for me. We went back to his room so we wouldn't wake you." I explained simply, yawning myself.

"I need to get back there before he wakes and realizes I'm gone. That way, he doesn't freak out." I continued.

"Why would he freak out? You go back to our room in the middle of the night all the time." Asked Harry, looking at me through a half-asleep look of puzzlement.

"Because he had another one of those dreams where I died, or vanished- something to that extent." I explained, realizing that I was, and am, so tired that I don't quite remember comforting Scorpius last night. I only remember that I wasn't asleep, that I was with him.

"Oh." He said simply. My gaze was cast towards the sheets, soft, inviting. I sighed, feeling the weight of the past month bear down on me. _I need a moment alone._ I can't stop trying to figure out how to get Harry to start eating more, to stop blaming himself for the aftereffects of the war. I can't quite understand the best way to help Scorpius understand that though life hasn't been the nicest to him, I wouldn't let it take me away. _I need rest._

"Hey," I turned my head towards the voice that called me, smooth and relaxing. Harry leant up, a trembling hand to my cheek, steadying his hand, and gave me a kiss. I closed my eyes, feeling myself melt into it as my brain swirled and stretched my reality. It was a quick kiss, but my perception of time, being slowed down by the weight of my exhaustion, made everything feel like it lasted an eternity. I put a hand to rest behind his head, taking us into another one. This time, it really was slow and long. It was sweet, and my mind- swimming in a pool of stress and sleep deprivation- greatly enjoyed it.

"Go and be the father you are." He said with a smile. I smiled back, before the low rumble of his stomach broke our peaceful silence.

"How are you after yesterday? Do you think you could make an attempt at breakfast?" I asked, concerned. His eyes darkened and his smile disappeared. He now looked nothing like when he'd awoken; he looked the same way he was when he was asleep, and every day before that.

After a few seconds of silence, and another protest from his stomach, he shrugged.

"I'll eat something, sure." I looked at him intently, making sure he was genuine about his words.

"Alright, I'll wake Scorpius and get started on that." I told him, standing to leave the room. When I closed the door, starting down the hallway, my mind attacked me with questions: _Is he going to eat a sufficient meal? Is he really doing alright after yesterday?_ I tried to push my nagging thoughts aside as I entered Scorpius' room to see him sound asleep, hugging a pillow. I felt a pang of jealousy rise in my chest regarding his ability to sleep soundly before I buried it stubbornly, scolding myself for it. _Scorpius doesn't sleep soundly all of the time._ I reminded myself. _It's my job to help him_. I leaned over the side of the bed, shaking him awake.

"Scor, wake up, it's time for us to make breakfast."

He yawned and stretched and opened his vivid grey eyes, looking back at me.

"Good morning Scor, come on, let's make breakfast." I told him. He got up from the bed, putting on his slippers and giving me a great hug around the waist- where he reaches. Nearly stumbling backwards from his force, I steadied myself, hugging him back.

"Do you want eggs?" He nodded. "And pancakes?" Another nod. "Strawberries?" Another.

"Can I cut the strawberries?" He asked sleepily, not letting me go.

"Maybe when you're older." I told him, not wanting an accident to occur in the kitchen. "Let's go."

————

Harry did eat a small bit of breakfast- two bites of everything, and about three strawberries. I was happy about the fact that he had even attempted to eat without protest. He kept saying throughout breakfast that he felt like he'd been forgetting something. I saw the wheels in his head turning as he struggled to pinpoint what it was. We knew it wasn't his medication, because I kept him on top of that. I can't have been clothing, or brushing his hair. After a moment I brought up birthdays. He stayed staring at me, before his eyes widened.

"So that's what it is, then? Whose birthday is it?" I asked, stifling another yawn. _I really need rest._ I wasn't going to lie, I was now intrigued by the mystery of the forgotten birthday. But, Harry shook his head.

"It's nothing," he said, putting his fork down. "I think I'm done with breakfast. Thank you though." He said, standing from the table. I sighed. He's definitely forgotten something important if he stopped eating after realizing and not telling me.

"Dada, do you want to play with me on the Wii?" Scorpius piped up. I looked towards his hopeful face, then back to my mostly-eaten pancake. _I need a moment alone._

"I think I'm going to uh, take a shower, Scor. It'll be quick, though. Don't worry." I said, knowing he'd protest to the idea of being apart from me. "It's not like I'm going to vanish from the bathroom, Scorpius." I reassured, holding back another sigh. My movements were sluggish. I'm losing strength. _I need a moment alone to rest._ Putting his and my plate in the sink, I then started up the stairs, to my and Harry's shared room to get a fresh set of clothes. I was met with him lying face-down on the bed, not even under the covers. My brows knitted together in concern as I heaved another sigh. He really must've forgotten something _really_ important.

I tried to speak to him, to call out for him and ask him what it was, what got him to turn his mood so suddenly, but the words couldn't seem to make it out of my mouth. I was just too tired to do so. I guess weeks without really sleeping at night, and doing so much in the days between, does that to you.

When I stepped into the shower, I was greeted by the inviting warmth and comfort of the hot water as it hit my skin, seemingly washing away the thick, gooey layer of stress I had on me. I closed my eyes, feeling as the darkness in my mind swayed to the comforting, numbing rhythm of each drop hitting me, the faint sense of steam filling the small room.

Slowly, the floor of the tub got closer, until I felt the rubber of the bathroom mat up against my side, and I took a deep breath, allowing the warmth and moisture to fill me. My head and heart were beating to the same slow, prominent rhythm, dulling my mind as the sound of the running water faded. Soon, I was gone, lost in a vast, seemingly endless oasis of warmth and numbness.

At one point, my heart gave a terrible jolt, and I was roughly pulled from my temporary solace at the sound of knuckles rapping at the door, and two panicked voices.


	44. Chapter 44

—Draco POV—

When I stepped into the shower, I was greeted by the inviting warmth and comfort of the hot water as it hit my skin, seemingly washing away the thick, gooey layer of stress I had on me. I closed my eyes, feeling as the darkness in my mind swayed to the comforting, numbing rhythm of each drop hitting me, the faint feeling of steam filling the small room.

Slowly, the floor of the tub got closer, until I felt the rubber of the bathroom mat up against my side, and I took a deep breath, allowing the warmth and moisture to fill me. my head and heart were beating to the same slow, prominent rhythm, dulling my mind as the sound of the running water faded. Soon, I was gone, lost in a vast, seemingly endless oasis of warmth and numbness.

Soon, though, my heart gave a terrible jolt, and I was roughly pulled from my temporary solace at the sound of knuckles rapping at the door, and two panicked voices.

I opened my eyes, or at least I thought I had. My vision was incomplete, the picture being blocked off by various black-green dots swimming around my eyes. My joints felt stiff, I noted as I got up from the floor of my bathtub. The knocking at the door became louder, more fierce, but it just felt like a dull thumping beneath my feet, which were incredibly unsteady.

I stumbled backwards, landing on the wall with a loud thud, followed by the dropping of several bottles of soaps and shampoos.

I turned off the water with wobbly hands, and picked up the bottles, my mind became more disorganized as I did so, and my vision was becoming more and more obscured. Everything was spinning wildly and I was having a hard time doing anything. _I'm going to pass out. Don't pass out, don't pass out, don't pass out._ I kept telling myself. _My blood pressure is too low, I need cold._ I felt a shocking rush of cold air as Harry opened the shower curtain, at least, I thought it was Harry. Who else would walk into the bathroom knowing I'm fully naked?

I brought a hand out to him with a forceful grip on his shoulder, trying to steady myself as I took deep breaths, letting the cold air seeping into the bathroom fill my lungs. His mouth was moving but I could only make out a muffled hum.

I felt as my vision went back to normal and my hearing seemingly came back. Harry's glasses were deeply fogged, and I couldn't see his eyes because of it.

"Draco? Can you hear me?" I nodded faintly. "You were in there for two hours!" My heart began to beat more prominently, getting me to fully regain my bearings.

"I fell asleep." I told him simply. I let go of him, now able to stand on my own. He reached to the side, grabbing a towel. I took it gratefully, beginning to dry myself.

"Scorpius came into my room telling me he couldn't find you. I got worried." He said simply. I looked over his shoulder to find Scorpius standing at the door with flushed cheeks, and watery eyes.

"Scor, I'm fine. I was just showering." I told him. "Please go, I'll be there, just, wait a second." Scorpius stated looking at me, then left without another word. I continued drying myself.

"Are you alright?" Asked Harry softly, with a caring hand on my shoulder. I nodded.

"I just, needed a moment." I told him, beginning to get dressed.

"You're exhausted... let's go, you need a nap. I'll take care of Scorpius." He told me. I didn't want to agree, I'd left Scorpius by falling asleep in the shower and he looked a mess because of it. But, I was far too tired to protest, and Harry, being hard-headed as he is, took my lack of an answer as a yes.

After being completely dried and dressed, Harry led me to our room, and brought me into the bed, under the covers. I closed my eyes immediately, letting my head fall sideways onto the pillow.

"You need to relax for a moment. Let me help you relax." Whispered Harry, with a voice as soft and light as a feather. I felt a kiss land on my temple, then he laid down beside me.

"Focus on my voice. Let me help you relax." In my head, I nodded. But my body didn't move at all. He brought his hand up and down my arm in a comforting manner, which I loved.

His hand ended at my shoulder, which he slightly pushed down on. "Relax your shoulders. Feel the tension melt away."

I did as he said, feeling myself fall deeper into calmness than ever before.

"Unclench your jaw, let your tongue down from the roof of your mouth, take deep breaths, and let all of the stress vanish, leaving you calm, relaxed."

Soon, his voice melted away from awareness, and I fell asleep with his warmth against me, leaving me to float comfortably in the oasis of my sleeping mind.

—Harry POV—

A few minutes after Draco fell asleep, I gave him another kiss on the temple, before leaving the room, being sure to close the door softly so as to not disturb him. Now, I need to deal with Scorpius- Draco's most recent hip attachment.

Walking into his room, I realized that I hadn't the slightest clue how to tell Scorpius to give his dad space without sounding like the worlds most selfish arsehole. Furthermore, how could I sit there and tell him that he's being irrational? After all, when he's already lost two entire parental figures, one of which was his mother, how far fetched is it to think that he can lose his dad as well? But, I can't turn back now. Not only did I tell Draco I would deal with Scorpius, but I'm also already standing at the doorway of his room, and he's looking at me, because all I've done for the three minutes standing here is stare into space.

"Your dad's taking a nap. He's a bit tired today." I said, stepping further into the room. Scorpius eyed me carefully, not speaking.

"You know, I understand what you're thinking." He looked at me unbelieving, with an eyebrow arched, the way Draco does when he doesn't believe what I'm saying.

"I never knew my parents... they died when I was one year old." I sucked in a quick breath, sitting tentatively on the edge of the bed. He didn't stop me, or start screaming, so I think I'm doing alright so far. "The people I lived with weren't very nice, so I really didn't have anyone- well, at least not until I made friends at Hogwarts, but that's a different story." I said, shaking my head to stay on topic. "My best friend- you've met him- Rose's dad, Ron. His mother was quick to take me in and treat me as her own. And she already had seven other children to watch over." I said with wide eyes and a fond chuckle.

"Anyway, I'm straying from the topic." I said, settling down. "When I was thirteen, I met my Godfather. He actually used to own this house, and is actually your..." I paused, thinking about it in my head. "Your... first cousin....twice removed?" I shook my head quickly. "He's related to you on your grandmum's side of the family, he was your grandmum's cousin." I said quickly. If I think too much about about the logistics of the Black family tree, I'll probably get a headache.

"Anyway, I loved him. He was like a godsend to me, he even offered to let me live with him and away from my aunt and uncle, which I was very happy about because, well I already told you, they weren't very nice. Uhm, then, when I was fifteen, he died right in front of me- got killed, by your, dad's aunt- Anyway," _Maybe this wasn't as helpful as I thought it would be._ I looked up to meet his incredibly confused expression. "No matter how many people I lost, and I lost a lot of people-" _Maybe I shouldn't have said that._

"I never lost Ron's family, and we became like a real family, even when everything was crazy and people were dying everywhere and Ron and I would listen to the news to make sure the Weasley's wouldn't be one of them- I'm rambling. The point is, Your dad," I took a breath. "He's made it through a lot, and I don't think he's going any time soon. He's too strong for that. Also, I get it, you're scared he's going to... die... and, I went through something similar, but I turned out alright." I said, offering a meek smile. "And, I didn't lose everyone, and neither will you." I finally finished, unable to even remember half of the words that spilled out of my mouth just seconds before.

"So, anyway, maybe just, give dad just a little bit of, space? I mean, just a little bit, you know, let him use the bathroom alone and, sleep in his own bed most nights... you know? Just like, just a little bit just, some space to breathe." I immediately became frantic. "A-and don't think it's just you!" I calmed down. "I need to do that too. You know, maybe we could, do more things together, while Draco does a little bit of his own thing... maybe." _What am I even saying?_ Scorpius just stayed staring at me, utterly baffled. I fiddled with the edge of my sleeves, slightly nervous. _I really need to learn to talk to kids._

"You're weird." He finally said. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Okay, I'll take that, but you understand what  
I'm saying? He's just, a little bit overwhelmed, especially because of everything that's going on with the newspapers- he's told you about that, right?" He nodded his head, looking at me skeptically.

"Okay, so, yeah, okay... What do you say I whip you up some lunch. Sound nice?"

"Dada isn't going to eat with us?" He asked slowly.

"I mean, if he wakes up, then sure. But I think he just needs a little rest right now. I'll make you a sandwich. How about that?"

"...Okay."


	45. Chapter 45

—Harry POV—

I was sitting on the sofa of the drawing room, finally getting around to continuing the book Draco had asked me to read back in March. It's really not a challenging read, but entertaining nonetheless. I was just getting especially intrigued when I heard a groan from upstairs.

"Harry." Draco called out for me.

I guess that's my queue to know that he's woken up. It's about time too, he's been asleep for at least three hours. I folded the corner of the page I'd left off on, closing the book and setting it down, before making my way up the winding steps of Grimmauld Place, and entered the room to see Draco mid-stretch. I closed the door and he looked over to me.

"Hey," he said with a slept-in voice.

"Hi, how was your nap?" I asked, not hesitating to crawl into the bed with him.

"I don't think I've ever had such a nice nap." He said, releasing a great yawn. He promptly brought his arms around my mid section, pulling me into him and resting his head on my chest wordlessly. I gave him a quick peck on the head.

"How's Scorpius?" He said after a brief silence.

"He's perfectly fine. I made him a sandwich for lunch, and we played together for a bit too." I responded, feeling proud that I was able to help Draco by watching over Scorpius.

"That's good." He answered. "By the way, thank you." I looked down at him and smiled,

"Anytime." I replied. He shifted, turning and letting go of the hug so he could be at eye-level with me.

"I took a nap and the house wasn't set on fire." He said with a small chuckle. I playfully slapped him.

"Oh come off it, I'm more than capable of watching over him."

"I know, I'm just used to doing things around here." He responded simply.

"Well I'm trying to help around more." I reasoned.

"I know you are, and I know it's been a struggle for you. So thank you." My lips curled into a smirk, and I guess that made Draco laugh. After settling down from the small fit of giggles, I looked at him fondly, realizing just how astonishing it is that we were here now, together, after such an antagonistic childhood, we managed to find something in each other.

I leaned in and he did too, meeting my lips with his halfway. It was gentle, soft, and slow- meant for us to just take in the moment. We kissed again, slow, sweet, and gentle again. I don't know which one of us deepened it, or when such a still and peaceful moment morphed into something more. After a moment, Draco let the kissing go, speaking.

"We haven't done anything in a while. What do you think?" He said, voice low as he stared intently into my eyes.

"I think yes," I said, trying to hide the smile from my excitement. "Scorpius is playing on his gaming console, and I checked up on him just ten minutes ago." He smirked, bringing me into another, deeper kiss, that was sadly much quicker as well.

"Then go lock the door, I'll put up the silencing charm." He said, getting off of me. I got up from the bed, a bit too quickly, as it sent me into a small dizzy spell. I quickly recovered though, going to do as he asked.

"If I knew you were like this when you woke up from naps, maybe I'd have you take more of them." I remarked, laughing slightly. I ignored the slight pain that shot across my stomach, having gotten used to it by now.

"Oh, shut it. It's your fault for making me want to do this anyway. I just can't resist around you."

"Oh, and that's completely my fault." I said in a low chuckle, walking back towards him. His thumb brushed against my cheek as we gazed into each other's eyes. I quickly took his face into my hands, bringing us together, allowing the sensation of pure love to send chills throughout my body.

————

We were lying in each other's arms, just relaxing and settling down. All we managed to do was clean up. Neither of us bothered to get our shirts back on, just simple boxer shorts. Every time we do this, I feel closer to him as a human. I get a glimpse into what he's like without any walls or blocks or extra layers to peel back. We never really do manage to do things quickly when we do. We take our time, almost as if we still can't wrap our heads around the fact that it's us- him and me- Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter- the world's most unlikely pair, in the worlds most unlikely situation, under the worlds most unlikely circumstances.

Soon, our blissful peace was rudely interrupted by the gargle of my stomach. I groaned, shifting out of Draco's hold as he shifted to look at me. _I know what's coming now._

"Have you eaten lunch?"

"No" I said with an annoyed roll of my eyes.

"Harry..." I turned to look at him- no longer annoyed, but rather surprised. His tone of voice had changed suddenly from curious, to concerned, quiet, and hurt. I searched his eyes for some hint as to how I should react or answer. My stomach erupted in its low tickling sound again, making me look down at myself in annoyance. Draco was quicker than me in finding words, apparently, getting close to me. And with a slow, gentle whisper, he spoke.

"Why are you neglecting your body?"

My mouth was agape and I was stammering. I quickly put up my shields though, shrugging off his jarring change of tone.

"It's nothing." I mumbled. He leaned back, showing annoyance at me; I don't blame him.

"Nothing, Harry? _Nothing?"_ His look was incredulous.

"Yes! It's nothing! So just... come off it, will you?" I said, getting up from my side of the bed. He got off on his side.

"Come off it, yes? So what am I supposed to do? Stand there and watch while you starve yourself to death? Make yourself disintegrate into nothing?!"

"Oh please, I'm not even that skinny!" I argued, raising my voice to match his.

"You will be if you don't stop this stupid, _fucking_ trend of yours!" He shouted, giving me a disbelieving expression. I stood still, unable to form words. He spoke again:

"You- what is even going through your head when you refuse to fucking eat when _I know_ you're feeling hungry?! 'I know exactly what will help me in life as I recover from depression, how about trying to starve myself?' Is that what's going though your head?! Hm?!"

"No! Now if you'll just shut up and leave it-" I roared, getting cut off by him.

"Well if that's not what you're thinking then what is it?! Why, _why_ are you doing this to yourself-"

"Because I'm not worth it!" I yelled, fuming. "Is that what you want me to fucking say?! I don't, _deserve_ it." I said, my voice quickly falling from its thunderous boom. Draco looked at me like I'd just hurt him.

"what-"

"How do you expect me to sit at a table and make myself believe that I deserve to give myself sustenance, when I can't even hold up my end of the bargain in life?!

All my life it was 'you don't deserve meals when you've been bad.' Then, at Hogwarts, it was 'you need to stay alive so you can save the world!' And now?!"

The room was pin-drop silent.

"Now I can't even remember Ron and Hermione's birthdays, let alone bother to attend."

The deafening silence was interrupted by a small knock on the door. "Dada?"

Draco only glanced at the door, otherwise not moving from his stone-hard stance in front of me.

"Harry, you realize that your thinking is disordered, right-"

"Disordered?" I hissed, ignoring the oncoming pain in my head and the absolutely aggravating rumble of my stomach. "What's so disordered about it? Am I wrong? What's wrong with what I'm saying because, to me it makes perfect sense-"

Suddenly, his determined expression was centimeters from me and both of his hands were gripping my shoulders harshly.

"You are though- you _are_ wrong. Everything about your reasoning is wrong, Harry! You cannot deny yourself the necessities to live just because you feel you aren't worthy!" His expression, as well as his grip, softened greatly. "Nobody is so awful that they don't deserve to live- especially not you."

I scoffed. "I could name a few people-"

"But none of them are you!" He interrupted, unreceptive to my poorly timed joke. I swallowed thickly, feeling a shiver go down my spine. Another knock came at the door.

"Dada?"

"Why don't you get a shirt on and actually eat dinner with us." He said, a strange mixture of soft yet stern coating his voice. He stared at me for another moment before turning around, grabbing his shirt from the floor- where it had resided for the better part of the last hour- and swiftly put it on, opening the door for Scorpius.

"Hey Scor, let's start on dinner, yeah?"


	46. Chapter 46

—Draco POV—

_"I made sure it was specifically on medium."_

_"That's too high."_

I hummed thoughtfully as I stirred the pot, remembering Maria's instructions. Scorpius requested that we make black bean soup with rice and chicken- a dish Maria had taught me about. Well, she taught me about the black bean soup and rice, then she showed me how she typically matches the soup- _soup alone, topping with anything else-_ with different proteins to switch up her meals. Apparently her entire culture just does that- they eat the same thing but with slight changes every now and then.

I was brought out of my concentrated daze by the soft feeling of Harry wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my left shoulder.

"Where did you get the bay leaves from?"

"I apparated to Muggle Spain while you were in the shower and found them at the grocery store." I answered nonchalantly. Harry Scoffed.

"Sometimes your determination really shows."

"What do you expect from me?" I said with a smile, concentrating on the chicken beside me. "My son wanted black bean soup, and I needed an ingredient."

"Funny how different it all is, hm?" He asked, his voice airy with a hint of heaviness.

"What do you mean?" I asked, suddenly curious.

"I don't really know." He answered, sounding thoughtful. "Everything, I guess."

"Well I can't argue with that." I said with a slight chuckle. "You seem particularly clingy today, enlighten me."

"I don't know. Today's been rather relaxing, and I find it quite nice to hug you." He said as I once again covered the pot of beans.

"I find it quite nice as well- but please, do mind Scorpius." I sucked in a breath. Bringing my voice down to a whisper. "You know I haven't told him yet."

At this he let go of me with a small groan. I rolled my eyes, ignoring the fact that I'd much rather have him resume hugging me. I flipped the chicken breasts with tongs, rolling my eyes playfully. "You'll live." I commented. "Scor! Help me toss the salad, will you?" I called out. This was followed soon by the thumping of tiny footsteps from the dining room. I reached down into a cabinet, grabbing a large plastic bowl.

"Is the table all set?" I asked, feeling around for the blasted container.

"Yes." He said. Can I cut the tomatoes?" He asked. He always wants to do the 'adults job'.

"We're using baby tomatoes today- they don't need cutting." I finally felt the thin plastic of the salad bowl and grabbed it, handing it over to Scorpius.

"Harry, get three plates for the chicken-actually no- stir the rice, in the pot. I almost forgot about that." I heard the small soft sound of his footsteps traveling to the stove, and I turned to help Scorpius with the salad.

When we finished putting it together, I sent him off to set the salad bowl on the table, emphasizing the need to go slow as to not spill anything. Harry and I hung behind in the kitchen, serving plates for us three. I removed the chicken from the heat of the pan, onto each plate, then turned to Harry, who I had noticed was watching what I was doing with a vacant expression- seemingly lost in the vastness of his mind. I got close to him, turning his attention towards me by moving his head so our eyes could meet. I gave him a kiss- to ensure he was paying attention to my next words.

"Listen to me, okay?" Our eyes settled into one another's, fixing onto them like a sort of anchor. "You're going to eat, and I promise nothing will happen to you when you do. Besides, I know you're feeling hungry. Believe me when I say you deserve so much more than merely a full stomach-" I paused, taking in a breath. "Don't let guilt make you do these things to yourself. If anything, I'm here. And I understand if you're not quite up to eating a full plate- I'm not asking you to push yourself. Okay?" He nodded softly, burying his face into my neck. I brought my arms around him into an embrace, then clapped his shoulder in almost a brotherly manner. "Let's go have dinner."

—Harry POV—

Sitting at the table was odd and silent as I looked almost quizzically at my food. The small mound of white rice drowning in a ladle-full of absolutely aromatic black beans, accompanied by a small chicken breast that was obviously cooked and seasoned to perfection. Small- almost like he knew I couldn't handle seeing more on my plate. I glanced up at Draco, looking at me mid-chew, with an eyebrow raised, then I stole a look at Scorpius, happily eating his pint-sized portion with a smile, taking a sip of the water in his bright green plastic cup. Scorpius isn't a stranger to spills- so he uses plastic cups.

I looked back to Draco, who was now fully staring at me, seeming to catch my procrastination in taking even a single bite from my untouched plate. Well, it wasn't untouched, just uneaten- but I had definitely been mixing and pushing the food around into a big lump, making it look less appetizing. Somehow though, it made my stomach clench as I was greeted with the familiar feeling of hunger that no longer only made me hurt, but made me tremble from lack of nutrients.

Draco cleared his throat, catching my attention, and motioned down towards my plate and my fork that was somehow full with a bite of the stuff. _When had I served myself a forkful of food?_ I locked eyes with him briefly before looking down at the contents of my utensil, all too aware of my rumbling stomach and my struggle to keep the fork steady in my hand. Scorpius casting a quick curious glance towards me was what made my nerves jump as I shoved the fork into my mouth, chewing slowly once I'd realized it, cautiously swallowing. That's how every meal I'd attended lately has been going. _When did I become such a slow eater? Was I always like this and nobody told me? I knew I'd always eaten light, possibly a little too light, but this slow?_ What made today's dinner different was when Draco tried staring a conversation to ease the tension.

"So, who's birthday was it that you'd forgotten? It was that, right?" I looked at him wordlessly. _That's why I shouldn't eat. On top of the complete and utter fool I am, and the horrible things I've done in life, now I've managed to become the worlds worst, most undeserving friend. I forgot Hermione's birthday and stumbled through her fireplace the next day asking her about the possibility that Professor Trelawney could have written books about my life._ I clasped my dramatically shaking hands on to the tables edge to steady myself, standing as quickly as I could and ignoring my bout of dizziness as I muttered an apology and made my way to the stairs. I was held back by Draco just as quickly, who grabbed my by the shoulders with a stubbornly determined outward demeanor.

"No, no. Sit down, here." He used my shoulder to move me and sit me right back down at the table. I didn't protest to it, suddenly feeling drained. The singular bite of food I'd taken somehow made me more hungry, and I hated it because that nagging feeling only became more difficult to ignore.

"What is it? Something I said?" He asked. I defiantly looked away from both him and the table.

"Scorpius, I'll go read with you in a bit, I need to talk to Harry." I felt his prying hand on my shoulder with a gaze so intense it burnt through his grey eyes into what should be my own eyes.

"Is that why you aren't eating? Because of what you'd forgotten?" I shook my head.

"Then what is it?" The shaking got so bad that it was now a constant tremor coursing through my entire body. I knew Draco could feel it, but I couldn't stop it for my own good. I almost wanted to double over from the hunger pains that had become more apparent as the days had passed- that I had been ignoring for forever now.

"Answer me, please." His voice was a mixture of stern refusal to get a lack of an answer, and a soft concern as he coaxed me into talking.

"Just everything." I mumbled. "I can't- just-" I took a slow breath as Draco pulled up the closest chair and sat in it, completely letting me go. I nervously played with my sleeves. "It's just-" my leg bounced up and down feverishly. "It's difficult. A-and my brain keeps nagging at me every time, I-" I took another breath to control myself. "I don't know how you can sit there and tell me it's alright when it's obviously not-" my breath hitched, and I brushed my visibly shaking hand through my hair, only to be gently stopped by Draco as he took my hand softly. I clasped his tightly, taking an exasperated breath. "I can't just eat like that, I- I haven't been eating right for a long time and now it's worse and you're trying to stop me but how easy is it to stop something that has been so long in the making and-"

I stopped, cursing my wavering voice and my quivering lip and my leg that never stopped bouncing, and the ever-familiar warmth on my face as I held back tears yet again. I took several breaths to try to control myself. Today has been good for the most part. I can't let it turn sour now- _I just want one good day. Where nothing happens._

I soon decided that today couldn't be that day, and I lifted myself from the table, meal entirely forgotten. I hated that my chair seemed to audibly give away my shaking as I dragged it backwards to give myself space to move. _I'm not as tolerable as I used to. Since when did just one day and a half with only a few bites of food get me this weak? What happened to the me that would survive several days, almost weeks, on minimal food?_

_Well, I have gone the last few weeks with minimal food, haven't I... I have._

"I-I'm sorry I just- go, go read with Scorpius. He needs your time, you're his father after all. I-I'll-" I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself, ignoring the absolutely utterly deafening ringing sound in my ears that seemed to become even more prominent now. I couldn't comprehend anything as much more than a muffled, distant occurrence.

"I-I-I'm going to- to the- room." I stuttered, suddenly unable to properly speak. "I'll see you there later. Please."

Making my way up the stairs proved exceptionally difficult, and I found myself heavily leaning on the rail, keeping my head down, making sure each step was done properly. _I need to lay down._ My vision became blurred, and I was as becoming increasingly confused by my surroundings. It took a mere few seconds to realize I might faint. After all, it was far from the first time it happened. _I need water._ I felt a the dull push of nausea against my chest as I turned to the room, closing the door. _I can lay down now- on the floor. I need to lay down now._ I just barely felt my hands grasping onto the nearby nightstand as well as the door knob so I could just slowly, quietly ease myself down. The problem came when there was an uncharacteristic banging and clattering, followed by a dull ache on the back of my head, and on my bum.

I closed my eyes, and my perception of everything vanished for a few seconds, leaving me in empty darkness before bringing me back to myself. _At least I'm laying down._

I snapped my eyes open at the very distant sound of Draco's voice: "Harry?" I blinked a few times. _He must've heard the commotion- come up with something so he knows I'm alright, that it wasn't me who made that noise._

"I'm fine, I just fell." I called out, closing my eyes. Everything felt far off, and jaded. The only thing I was fully aware of was the ground beneath me.

"Are you sure?"

 _Yes._ I answered, I think. Soon, I felt something on the side of my head. I tilted my head out of the way to prevent it from getting hit. _Why did easing myself onto the ground hurt so much?_ I thought, keeping my eyes closed and my breaths controlled. It seemed as though some unknown force was bringing me upright. I didn't want to open my eyes, _it must be myself. I must be standing up_ , I thought as I reached around to make the process easier on myself. I was slightly startled to fall forward onto something. I opened my eyes and realized Draco was right in front of me, hugging me.

"Let's get you in bed." _Good idea._ I felt my weak self land on a bed without a pillow, then, my feet were being lifted. _Silly me,_ I thought. _I'm laying down backwards. Oh well._ I heard Draco's muffled voice:

"Don't move, I'll be right back." _I don't plan on it._ I thought, feeling quite aloft and away from everything. _Just stay, I need to give myself a second to recover. At least I didn't faint- did I? No, good job. Imagine how Draco would have reacted._ I thought as I stared at the ceiling, willing my eyes to stay open, feeling weak and floating in and out of life. The ringing in my ears still had not subsided, and closing my eyes felt a lot better than trying to watch my skewed vision readjust itself. So, I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath. _Everything will be perfectly fine as soon as my ears stop ringing and this all ends. Then I can go to Draco, wherever he is, and be with him._ Then, my thoughts interrupted themselves: _Shhhhh. No thoughts. Just recover quietly._ And just like that, my mind went blank.

I woke up soon and realized I was lying down on the bed with Draco sitting beside me. There was no pillow under my head, but there was one under my feet. I looked around the room, noticing nothing odd, then turned to meet Draco's sympathetic gaze. The first thing I noticed about myself was my lack of glasses and the thumping pain on the back of my head, and on my bum.

"What time is it?"

"Only eight-thirty. How are you feeling? You took a pretty hard fall." I looked at him quizzically, then memories of what happened not even five minutes ago came back to me.

"I fainted?" I asked, but it was certain to me. I've fainted before in the past.

"Seems so." He stared simply, before moving the pillow at my feet and propping it up against the headboard for me to sit up against it. "I had to pick you up from the floor, and I put you in recovery position when I realized what had happened." He explained. Then I saw him reach behind him for a glass and a plate with a slice of toast on it.

"Don't worry," he quipped. "It's perfectly plain. And this is apple juice. Just so you can feel better." I took it with my shaking hands and without hesitation too. The only thing I wondered was how he knew to give me this.

With Draco helping me keep the glass steady, I took a sip of the juice, not too much, then a bite of the crunchy piece of bread, then another small sip of juice to wash it down. I closed my eyes, leaning my head back.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. "Thanks." I added quickly.

"It's fine. Don't worry, that's what  
I'm here for." I handed back the now half empty glass and the toast with its singular missing bite. He seemed to take it without question, setting it back on the table.

"Have you ever fainted before?" He inquired. I nodded softly, trying to settle myself.

"Is it a thing you do often? Or..." I shook my head.

"Back then," I breathed. "It'd happened a few times with the Dursley's," I said. "It's the food." He nodded in understanding.

"I figured. That's why I brought you that small something, just so your stomach isn't entirely empty." I nodded gratefully.

"Can we lay down?"

"Yeah." He shifted, pulling himself into the covers as I adjusted my pillow and laid down beside him, resting my head on his chest in a comforting silence.

"You gave me a bit of a fright there, at first. If I hadn't understood what was happening and known what to do, I'd have probably panicked and called Mungos." He explained. I suddenly couldn't feel more grateful that Draco somehow mysteriously saw me on the floor and known, then helped me afterwards even as I was obviously still out of it after fainting. I leaned into him slightly, ignoring the ever-lingering question of how, making a small noise of annoyance because I was so tired, and I'd have been damned if I didn't have Draco here right now.

"Please don't go so long with minimal food ever again." I nodded numbly, feeling too tired to give a protest of any sort. I leaned into his touch as he played with my hair.

 _I love you,_ I thought, cuddling deeper into him. I closed my eyes, and like that, I welcomed the peaceful darkness of my mind.


	47. Chapter 47

—Scorpius POV—

Leaning toward the table, I focused on the sunny green pasture spanning over the cold, hard wooden surface. I held a piece of a golden flower in my hand and scanned ahead. Dada said they're called gorse flowers. _What a strange name!_ I put the last piece of the puzzle left. The different pieces came together into a painting of green, blue and yellow, and I backed away from the table and reclined into my chair. This place is nearby, according to Dada's books. It's called Scotland. _Has he ever been there?_ I wondered. As I turned my head to ask him, the words stopped themselves from coming out of my mouth. Harry and Dada... they're looking at each other like _that_ again. I closed my mouth and looked away.

 _Why do they look at each other like that?_ Ever since my birthday, I've noticed the two of them looking like they want to say something to each other, but never really end up saying it. They always do that when I'm distracted, or doing something I like, or when I'm far away from them. I let out a small sigh and turned away to look at the pretty picture I just put together, before glancing at Dada one more time. My hands gripped the end of the table, I lifted myself up from my chair and walked to my room.

Once I got to my room, I sat on my carpet and gripped a fistful of woolly fabric in my hand. I felt my eyebrows knit together. _Dada does that a lot_. My train of thought stopped suddenly. _Dada..._

I heard a small sigh leave my lips. I've been thinking about it more and more. Before Harry came around, Dada and I were together all day, every day, and now... now he's always going back and forth between us and he looks at Harry in a weird way, and then sometimes we're doing a puzzle or playing or reading, and then _something_ happens with Harry and he leaves. And sometimes there's screaming, or crying, or arguing, or...

I felt myself breathe out, almost like I had forgotten to breathe. _There are things that he isn't telling me._ Everything that has happened up until now, even the very start, before Harry appeared, I feel like Dada has always left some things out. I don't think he's telling me everything about what happened with Maria, or why we had to move. I don't think he has told me everything about Mum... and I definitely don't think he's being honest about him and Harry. If Dada wasn't telling me all he knew, Harry was even more of a mystery. _What a strange guy..._

 _But he isn't bad or anything!_ I never felt any bad feelings for Harry. But the only time we really talked, or really, when he talked to me, he was talking about stuff I knew nothing about, and he was talking pretty fast. That was the closest I've ever been to him. He feels even more distant when we're eating, and he doesn't even eat a lot, even when we cook Maria's food. _Maria's food is the best food, too._ He's... just a stranger who lives in my house. But Dada is so close to him.

All the time, Dada leans toward Harry, or Harry leans towards Dada. But they always pull away when they remember I'm there with them. They don't know, but I've seen their hands graze every once in a while. I've seen them hugging sometimes. Well, Harry knows, but why does it seem so weird now and not back then?

"Scorpius? Are you all right?" My head twirled in the direction of the door, moments after Dada knocked on it. My hands felt like they were on fire, and I realized that I was gripping the carpet a bit too hard. I turned my hands around towards me and saw the red marks on my palms. I quickly stood up, relaxed my arms, and faced my door. "Come in!" I called Dada to go in.

"Hey!" He kneeled down so we could see eye-to-eye. "Weren't you going to show me when you finished your puzzle? The picture is quite beautiful!" I looked down, and looked up at him again. "I... I forgot." I tried to assure him. He furrowed his eyebrows together, and raised one after a moment, before relaxing his face.

"Are you all right, Scor?" I nodded and smiled. He returned the smile, and offered me his hands. "Let's go see your puzzle. Tell me, how challenging was it? Did you know those yellow flowers are called gorse flowers?" I looked at his hand holding mine for a little, before answering all the questions he had asked me. We arrived at the table together, back to the picture of the grassy field of that place called Scotland. When we sat down, Harry appeared from some unknown corner, and sat down at the table with us. I glanced at him, but I looked away as quick as I turned my eyes to him. Details of solving the puzzle came spilling out, and I couldn't help myself from saying how I went through everything, even with the tricky corner pieces. _They're so tricky!_

_————_

My eyes opened, and I was met with rays of sun trickling through my window. I found feeling in my arms and my legs and the rest of my body as I woke up. My face, I noticed when I softly passed my hand over my eyebrows, nose, and lips, was stuck in a frown. I blinked a few times and tried to sit up in one slow movement, but I felt... a wetness in my pajama shorts. _Oh no..._ After uncovering my quilt as fast as I could, I felt my stomach drop when I saw the giant stain in the bedsheets. _Oh, no... Dada..._ I stayed frozen in place. Something liquid and watery was balancing at the edge of my eye. _Why did I always have to do this? I can't control this, but still. Dada shouldn't have to clean up after me like that. Especially something this gross. Why wouldn't this stop?_

I took a deep breath laced with hiccups, and let out a shaky sigh. My hands are not very steady. I brought my hand that was holding my blanket up to my face to wipe the tears, processing everything in my head.

 _...No._ I wiped my tears more angrily, almost slapping my face. _Dada will_ not _have to deal with this._ It's final. I'm not letting Dada see this mess. I'm not letting Dada feel sad because I'm sad. I'm not letting Harry, a person who Dada cares about a lot but who I don't even know, feel sad because of me.

I whipped my head around to the sounds of steps echoing in the floorboards. I didn't know who it was, but still quickly grabbed the quilt and pulled it over my head, laying down on my bed, and steadying my breathing, trying my best to look asleep. I tried to ignore the icky wetness on my pants and bed as hard as I could, and my fast-beating heart.

I heard the steps get closer, and closer- the soft, hollow sounds getting louder. After a few light thuds, I couldn't control my breathing anymore and my heart was beating in my ears; but the sound grew closer and closer, and closer, until-

Nothing. Dada didn't stop by. _Was it Harry, then? Why is he up this early?_ After a second, I started on my plan to hide my gross accident from Dada. I tiptoed off the bed and walked up to my dresser, making sure not to step on my Wii. _I'd quite like to dance right now._ I defeatedly stood in front of my dresser, and took off my pajama trousers to replace them with a brand new pair. _Plaid pajamas, plaid pajamas... A-ha!_ I got the right pair of pajama trousers- a light grey pair to sort-of match with my dark grey pajama shirt. I was just about to put it on, when I was reminded of the sticky pee in between my legs. _Wipes._ I quickly looked around my room for some wipes in my room and to my luck, I found a pack right in front of me on my dresser! I grabbed the pack so fast that it almost fell and the pack fell with me.

It was when I turned to pick up my trousers that had fallen to the floor when I saw _him_ staring at me.


	48. Chapter 48

—Scorpius POV—

It was when I turned to pick up my trousers that had fallen to the floor when I saw _him_ staring at me, his eyes wide. I couldn't say anything. _What is he doing here? How long has he been there?!_ My thoughts were zipping around in my head, but I couldn't move at all.

"S-Scorpius? What are you doing? Are you alright? Should I get Dra-" He asked as many questions as I held in my brain. But no matter how much Harry cares, or how much he seems to care to make Dada happy... I couldn't let him see this.

"No!" I yelled all of a sudden, putting my balled fists behind me and bringing my chest up. I imagined my words pushing toward Harry, pushing him out of my room. "I don't..."

I couldn't push against him anymore. At this moment, the way he was looking at me... it seemed like he really cared. Not just to make Dada happy, but to make me happy too.

"Scorpius?" Harry moved a little closer. I didn't move. Maybe I don't need to do this. Maybe I don't need to wipe my legs, find new trousers, or hide the covers. I don't think I need to seem strong for Dada. I felt a tear go down my cheek. At this, Harry flinched and backed away a little. _Harry..._ I began sinking down. The air was pushing against me.

"Harry... do you think I'm strong?" Harry quickly tiptoed next to me, and sat down at my side. He looked at me with his head tilted sideways.

"Well... Your dad would certainly have a better idea than I do. He's known you your whole life after all." Harry gave an awkward chuckle. "Um... I think that he would consider you strong." I hiccupped but looked at him while raising an eyebrow. He laughed lightly again, but his expression softened a little. "You two have always been a part of each other's lives. I know he takes care of you; he tucks you in, makes the food, teaches you in not just school, but, really, everything else," Harry continued,

"but I also think you take care of him, in a way. I absolutely know that, ever since you were born, you have given him nothing but happiness. I can tell that every time I look at you smile at each other after you solve a jigsaw puzzle, or when you cry in his arms because you had another nightmare."

I looked down when Harry said this. But I looked up at him, and he wasn't looking back at me. Instead, he had propped himself up with his arms behind his back and was staring at the ceiling with his mouth slightly open. Harry suddenly widened his eyes and looked back at me with a small smile. "I think you're the strongest person your father knows." He paused for a second. "Your mom, who is watching us from the sky, knows that you're strong, too." We looked at my ceiling together. "And... I know that too."

I turned my eyes away from the ceiling to look at him. I didn't ask him anything, but he seemed to know what I wanted to say. "Yeah. It's true. Plus, that bean soup wouldn't have turned out as good as it did if you didn't come to the rescue." Harry looked at me, his smile a little bigger than before, and I couldn't help myself from giving him a small smile in return. He tried and failed to put a hand on my shoulder. _What a weird guy._ But after a moment, he stood up and offered his hand, which I took after looking at it and then at him. I stood up, and Harry asked, "What would you like to do now?" I thought about it for a minute.

"Could you... remove the stain from my bedsheets, please? And then we can go get a glass of water?" He knitted his brows and looked at me.

"Scorpius... still, isn't it better if your dad knows about this?" _I had a feeling he would ask that._

"Please... I don't want him to know about this one. Dada has enough to worry about." I pleaded, keeping my arms close to my body. He closed his eyes and sighed, but eventually nodded, and took out his wand to wipe my sheets clean.

" _Scourgify_!" And, in an instant, the stains were gone. I looked at Harry one more time after going out of my room. I thought of him as a stranger before, but now... he doesn't feel so strange. Well, he is strange, but not as much as he used to be. He was waiting for me to go out. "Let's go get some water."

Me and Harry got to the kitchen, and he silently served me and himself a glass of water. We both sat down in front of the counter and drank. He said nothing to me, and neither did I to him. After a while, I got up from my seat and offered to take his glass to the sink, seeing as we had both finished. He gave a crooked smile and I took both our glasses. I turned around to walk toward the sink and-

"Harry? Scorpius?" I almost dropped the cups. _Dada_. I felt a tumbling feeling from my chest to my legs. But no words tumbled out of my mouth.

"Draco... Good morning," said Harry, trying not to sound perfectly terrified. Dada raised an eyebrow and looked at both of us. He gave a long look at Harry before kneeling in front of me, lowering his eyebrow and looking at me with worry. I breathed out and looked down. "Scorpius... your door was ajar," I tilted my head up at him, never looking away. "and I found the trousers you wore to bed, and a perfectly spotless bed? You don't have a grasp on magic yet, so I assume _someone_ did that for you." We both looked at Harry. His face was a funny pink color, like a spray of carnations I had seen in one of my puzzles. Dada smiled lightly as Harry stayed quiet. Dada sighed. "Scorpius... why did you try to hide this from me? You know I'm here for you. What's going on?"

"Dada..." I tried looking at Dada, but I couldn't. I felt tears slowly building in my eyes, but I swallowed and got them down. "I... I tried to be strong for you, Dada. I tried to hide what I did so you wouldn't have to worry. Harry told me that he thinks you think I'm strong already. But I still wanted to- I still wanted to-" Hiccups are spilling out of my mouth as tears fall from my eyes. "I still wanted to show you that I'm not a little boy anymore and I can take care of myself-" I quickly brought my first up to my face in an effort to wipe my eyes. "But I couldn't even do that, and I tried to change my pants and Harry came in and he helped me-" I couldn't stop myself from crying even if I tried now. "So even though it did happen I still wanted to look like I was clean, and- and strong-" Dada held my arms softly, and I opened my eyes, still sniffling. He brought a hand up to wipe my tears.

"Oh Scor... Harry is absolutely right. I do think you are strong. I _know_ you are strong." He stared at me before talking in a thin and sweet voice like candy floss. "But you don't need to hide anything from me. Much less something that isn't your fault." Dada took my hands. He looked at me with the softest smile. It really made me want to fall asleep in his arms right there. _Wait..._

_Something that isn't my fault? Is he referring to the accidents I have? Or everything else?_

"Dada..." I swallowed and sniffled. "What about Maria?" Dada's face turned white, and I noticed his eyes widened for just a bit.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"We had to leave so suddenly. She had forgotten about us. That... that wasn't my fault, right?"

Dada shook his head side to side quickly. "No, no, my love... how could that have been your fault?" He rubbed my arms. The tears came back full force, and I was hiccupping and sniffling again in a moment.

"W-what about Mum? That wasn't my fault, right?" Dada knitted his brows and kept repeating the word 'No'. I wasn't listening. I felt my thoughts swirl around and turn into a big, wiry, oil-colored ball. Dada kept denying it. _Was this really all my fault?_

"Shh... those things could have never been your fault, Scor... Please listen to me," Dada asked over and over. I couldn't even hear myself think.

"You and Harry disappear into your room and don't- don't come out for a long time... is that my fault too?" All of a sudden, Dada stops trying to shush me and looks at me. I still can't hear anything because of the noise of all the rubbish in my head, but I could see Dada's eyes turn glassy as if I was looking at a mirror. I could see myself hiccupping and blubbering in them. Slowly, the ball of thoughts started to shrink and shrink, and soon, I was able to hear the silence in the kitchen again. Still sniffling, I called out to Dada, who looked so far away even though he was in front of me, never looking away for one second. "D-Dada?" He breathed in, and looked at Harry. I looked at him too, and he had the same shocked face as Dada.

"Draco?" Harry asked, before swallowing hard. He nodded and looked at me for a moment. Dada breathed in.

"Scor... Harry and I are..." Dada looked down. His hold on my arms got tighter. But he relaxed them after a second. "Harry and I are in a relationship with each other." I tilted my head. _But... me and Dada are in a relationship with each other. He's my father. And Harry and I are in a relationship with each other. He's... somebody I... know? I think?_ Dada breathed in again. "Scorpius... Harry and I are..." he took a breath, casting a quick glance towards Harry. "in, love... with each other."


	49. Chapter 49

—Scorpius POV—

"Scorpius... Harry and I are..." he took a breath, casting a quick glance towards Harry. "in, love... with each other."

I stopped. _That didn't make sense._ But it made sense at the same time. How their hands touch but didn't touch, how they would almost say something to each other but didn't. I breathed in a long and trembling breath. _Somehow, that feels... much better than I thought it would feel._ The mass of ugly thoughts slowly got smaller, enough that I could hold it in my hand.

"Why would you try to hide it then? If you and Harry love each other like we love each other, then there's no problem!" I wiped my tears and sniffled, not feeling sad anymore, just confused.

"No, Scor, it's a little different." He looked away, and I swear I could see his thoughts cooking in his head. "Erm... It's when... We... Harry and I kiss, and hold hands." I was even more confused when he said this.

"But we also kiss and hold hands! I give you a kiss goodnight on the cheek, and you give me one too." _What could possibly be different?_

"Actually, um... w-we kiss, here. On the lips." Dada pointed and tapped his finger on his lips. _Oh... like in my storybooks? When the prince kisses the princess to wake her up? Oh..._

"...Oh." Dada stared at me, waiting for a longer response. I don't really get it. I've never really seen it other than in my books or in movies. _But maybe... could it have been how Mummy and Dada loved each other?_ "Is that... Did you and Mummy do that too?" I noticed Harry come over to Dada's side and sit down criss-cross next to him. Me and Dada sat down like that shortly after.

"Yes, we did." Dada stopped for a second. "But... Harry's not my...?" _What?_ I saw the smallest hint of a smile in both Dada and Harry's faces.

"No, Scorpius, I'm not your 'mum'". Harry interrupted. Dada and Harry shared an embarrassed smile. They both looked back at me.

"Scorpius, you're a smart little fellow, and to be completely honest, I think it impossible to say that you haven't noticed us doing _this_ , or at least trying to." Dada took Harry's hand. Their fingers laced together like a boy and a girl I saw on T.V once.

"I... I think I get it now." I relaxed my hands, which had been stiff at my sides for a long while. I put them in my lap.

"And if it's any concern," Harry suddenly said, "I won't love him more than he loves you. Or- rather, he won't love me more than he loves you." _I don't think I ever really thought about that._ I sighed. It's good to hear him say it, though. It's nice to know that, even when Dada is with Harry, he still loves me. Dada let go of Harry's hand and held both of mine in his.

"Harry's right, Scor. You're always my number one." He said, tickling my side for half a second. "Also, Scor, all those things you said, about Maria, and your Mum... what I told you was true. _None_ of that was your fault. It never will be."

I looked at him and breathed out, and smiled for what felt like the first time in a million years. Dada and Harry had a smile from ear to ear, too. He let go of my hands and reached out. In a moment, I jumped on him and gave him the biggest hug. Dada held me very tight, and it felt like I was around a thousand feather-filled pillows at once. I wish we could stay like this forever.

—Draco POV—

I blankly stared at the piano in the distance as I hugged Scorpius, the hug itself keeping him secure, safe, and sure of himself. And while my physical actions were purely for Scorpius, tender and loving as I guaranteed to him that nothing life had thrown at him ever has been, or will be, his fault, my mind was frozen as one question pressed itself to the front of my brain, making me dizzy, and almost completely throwing me for a loop. Big, red, ugly, bold letters against my mind, screaming: _What did I just tell him about me and Harry?_

 _Harry and I are... in love... with each other?_ As much as I knew there was almost no other way to say that, it felt odd, and foreign. It brought a dull thumping to my forehead, it made my stomach do a sort of flip, and it made my heart quicken for only a few beats. Soon, Scorpius let go of our hug, and I saw the widest smile on his face. I couldn't help but reciprocate it, and as much as I willed myself to look at Harry, because I just knew he was smiling too, the thought of looking up at him made me almost... nervous.

The rest of the day was spent in a calm that hadn't been particularly felt in the house before, and I willed myself to not act differently because of what was shared, especially for Scorpius. But for some reason, my conversation with Scorpius opened a floodgate of questions I didn't even know I had stored within me. _Harry and I... love each other... like a man and a woman should, but, we are most definitely_ not _a man and a woman. We... We've never even used those words with each other... love... love?_

I know that I love him. That fact is indisputable and, quite frankly, I would have to be _really_ dense to not see that. But saying it out loud, it made things more real than I ever imagined it, but at the same time, I found myself wanting to stay in this bubble that Harry and I were in. Where we could just... be, without worrying about the gravity behind such a simple word. Without worrying that such a confession would only doubly hurt me if something were to happen to him. That particularly made me feel sick- the idea of something happening to him.

Somehow, as I grappled with this verbal confession of infatuation, I also managed to question what it all means. _Harry and I... we... do like each other, and... that's definitely not what someone would particularly call normal... I mean, aside from us being The Saviour of the Wizarding World and a former Death Eater, we're also both_ men...

My mind stayed in conflict through the rest of the day and into the night, cutting through my concentration as I prepared breakfast, lunch and dinner, as well as when Scorpius and I went over maths, and social studies. It burned at me as I found myself unable to look at Harry, let alone speak to him, without asking myself _What? How?_ And I just could not find myself as bothered at his irregular diet, or how he kept catching my gaze throughout the day, as I was about the question: _What does it mean, that Harry and I are together?_

It seemed my phasing in and out of the days events caught up to me, because when I let myself flop onto the bed with a sigh, letting the view of the dimly moonlit ceiling be the backdrop for my oceans' worth of questions, Harry eased himself down gently, not hesitating to ask me: "What's up with you today?"

For the first time since the mornings conversation, I turned to look at him, and all I could think in the moment was how soft the feathery blue moonlight made his face, and how the light in his eyes made me feel like there was hope in the world... for what, I wasn't sure. I leaned over towards Harry, cupping his face with one hand and going in for a tender kiss.

Harry smiled into it, causing me to smile as well. After a moment, He stopped the soft and gentle dance between our lips, speaking. "Well, if you were all out of sorts just because you wanted a kiss, I could have given that to you so much earlier."

He gave me another, and it sent me into bliss as we moved together, I almost didn't care what it meant as we let us, and only us, exist in that moment. Except... I do care, and it's been gnawing at my conscience all day. I hesitantly pulled away.

"Harry, what does this all mean?" I asked, my voice a tentative whisper hovering at the edge of uncertainty. He furrowed his brows slightly, in confusion.

"I don't understand." He said, a light, airy chuckle escaping him. I laid down again, looking at the ceiling.

"I mean, us... we- I mean, don't get me wrong, _us_." I said, smiling at the concept of us, pretending my words made any sense. "But, I don't think I ever... I mean... I've only ever thought of boys this way maybe... one other time in my life." I finished, my brain scrambling. I've never had such a hard time speaking before, even in the scariest moments of my life. Now though, I don't even know _what_ I'm saying. The concept is some sort of smoke that won't materialize into anything more tangible. Harry burst out in laughter, and I turned over to see him trying desperately to suppress it.

"What?" I asked, baffled by his humorous outburst. I tried to keep my frame of mind within the topic of conversation, but found it incredibly difficult, because seeing Harry smiling and laughing filled me with an indescribable feeling, and I suddenly wished I could make him show his carefree side more often.

"You- Draco-" he kept laughing. I sat up, faking offense, yet still truly confused as to why he was laughing so hard.

"What? What's so funny?" I pried. It was a moment before Harry fixed himself, having calmed down.

"Draco... in the time we were together, you never once questioned your sexuality? Not even back then, before we were together? How did you-" he held back another snicker. "How did you manage that?" He said, now fully sat up. "I'm sorry, You're right; this isn't funny, I just..." he settled down. "You never liked another guy? Ever? Never questioned what it would be like to... kiss one? Be with one?"

"I-"

I wish I had an instant reply: _no._ But the more I thought about it, the more that 'no' turned into a 'maybe', or even a 'yes'.

"Have I?" I asked, looking up at Harry, feeling like I'd missed out on myself as a teenager, having ignored and suppressed almost every thought about romance...

"I can't answer that question for you, Draco... I can tell you though that _I_ was at least vaguely aware of my attraction to men, having had my fair amount of uncalled for thoughts of Cedric Diggory." His expression slightly faltered. "I even had a few fleeting thoughts about you and getting into a fight and it ending in a violent song..." he chuckled lightly. "Of course I pushed that stuff away, at the time I was more concerned over not getting killed." He laughed bitterly. "But that doesn't mean I wasn't aware of it, and besides, I couldn't deny that I had feelings for... Ginny... even Cho Chang... I can't lie and say I never thought Fleur was absolutely beautiful..." his voice trailed to a slow halt and his head tilted to look towards his lap, before he spoke again, softly:

"That doesn't matter though... what about you? I've literally just told you pretty much everyone I've ever thought about. You should at least return the favour." He said with a dry attempt at adding humor to the conversation. He looked up at me shyly. I was at a loss for words, trying to dig through my time at Hogwarts, and everything I thought, of everyone I knew.

"I... may have had a... small crush on you in second and third year." I noticed he raised an eyebrow. "I buried it though. Always talking to my parents about you and them telling me to stop being jealous... I thought maybe that was what it was. And I treated you no differently than I always had, and besides it's not like there's never _was_ any jealousy... uhm." I found that my head and heart were pounding.

The silence was odd, and there was a new type of intimacy found in discussing such an elementary and equally important topic with Harry. I somehow couldn't pull my head up to look at him, yet all I wanted to do was get lost in his eyes, in his hold, his warmth.

"I did fancy... Pansy... Parkinson. For a bit... but in the end we were only ever friends... I think she was my first real friend, and I just... got lost in that, I guess. She was a little bit of an escape. Somebody I could relax around... Of course there was Astoria," I said fondly. "She was... amazing. She helped me with, so much... she changed me. She let me be myself and work through my problems... and I helped her work through hers... until-" I swallowed, feeling the sudden blanket of weight around us, hanging in the air.

After a while, I glanced up at Harry, who stayed silent as he watched me patiently, almost like he knew I was trying to organize myself. I took a breath to continue speaking.

"And... maybe... maybe I had a few moments... with... Blaise." I whispered the last part, causing Harry to lean in, squinting.

"Sorry I- couldn't quite hear you-"

"Zabini. Blaise Zabini... a Slytherin, roommate. We..." I took another breath, determined to make this as quick as possible. "It was one night, and we kissed, and we promised never to talk or think about it again." I said with a small huff.

"Oh, okay... so why are you so... shocked now? I mean, I'm sorry but, you can hardly say it isn't obvious. We've slept together... loads of times. You definitely seem into it." He began, I cut him off.

"I know, I guess you're right I, I just never bothered to think about what it means. I'm attracted to men?" I said, looking up at him and shrugging my shoulders. He smiled goofily.

"You think so? I wouldn't be so sure." He said, beginning to expel another laugh. I found myself allowing a shy smile and a small laugh.

"Maybe." I remarked, joking bashfully. I felt him reach a hand around to the the nape of my neck, gently pulling me into a kiss. I melted into it, a certain type of elation running through my veins as our lips touched, as we equally shared our affections for each other in a slow, meaningful way. I smiled. "You make me happy." I chuckled. "Who would have ever thought?" We exchanged another quick kiss, staying close together.

"Certainly not me, I'm as surprised as you are." He replied, a giddy smile across his face.

_I love you._

_"_ Can we stay like this? Just us?" I whispered, our foreheads resting on one another's.

"I would gladly."


	50. Chapter 50

"Are you ready to do this?" I said, a wonderfully mischievous smirk painted across my face. I looked back at Luca, well, now he looked exactly like me, and I looked like him. We had exchanged robes and now we're going to see how long it takes for professor Belmonte to notice that we've switched places.

"Absolutely." I couldn't hold back the feeling of giddiness as we clasped hands, leaving the bathroom where Bonnie was standing watch.

"Wow! I can't even tell that you switched!" She said, a smile spreading across her cheeks. Oh my god wait, did you change your voices too?"

"Nope!" I said. His smile grew even wider.

"It's so odd hearing Teddy's voice come out of Luca's mouth." She said, with a friendly shake of the head.

"Come on guys, we're going to be late." Remarked Luca. And with that, we made our way to our Defense classroom, where Wednesday bowling always takes place after classes.

"Alright class, let's get in four teams of ten! Today we will not be playing by houses, but rather, your own teams. A through D." He announced. I found it insanely difficult to hold back smiling from cheek to cheek as he saw me and Luca, and commented.

"Mister Makara, you look rather cheerful today, you will be one of the team captains for today's game." I saw as Luca stepped forward, then stepped right back into his spot, remembering that he was me today. I stepped forward proudly, then, he called the other three captains to stand with me.

"Miss Fernsby, Miss Loughty, Mister Olivemore, you will be the other three captains." I tensed slightly as Aminata stood next to me, leaning over and whispering.

"I have the book you wanted from the library in my bag, I'll give it to you later."

"Thanks." I muttered stiffly. My mind was reeling. _Luca is friends with Aminata? But he knows what she does to me..._ I was snapped out of my thoughts when an identical copy of me came up to me.

"Looks like you, me, and Wendy, are in the same team." Luca said lightheartedly while shrugging off his cloak and rolling up his sleeves. I gave a slight nod as I saw eight other students came towards us, preparing for the game that Professor Belmonte had yet to set up.

An hour and a half later, we finished bowling, and I saw Aminata gesture for me to follow her to her bag. I assumed it was for the book she'd mentioned earlier. I had to continuously remind myself that right now, I'm not Teddy, and I'm not Edward. There's no way she would talk to the real me without sneering and throwing backhanded comments or shoving me over.

"It was an interesting read, and if you want it for reference on our Astronomy assignment, you'll find what Professor Sinistra went over in chapter four." She said while rummaging through her bag. She turned around and handed me the large and heavy book.

"I especially like the abundance of diagrams. They're detailed and easy to understand."

"Thanks." I looked over my shoulder to see the real Luca, still looking exactly like me, a few desks over, talking with his Slytherin roommates. I wondered briefly if he was pretending to be me, or explaining what the two of us had planned. I heard Aminata sigh, and I turned back to her.

"I don't know why people talk to him, let alone come near him- especially you." I gave a puzzled look, trying to mask the hurt at her words. She continued speaking:

"I'm telling you, Luca. He's dangerous. He's a werewolf." She drew in a breath, turning to her bag again and pulling out another book. She leaned in, whispering.

"I've been reading up on it," she started looking around to make sure others weren't listening. I wouldn't be lying when I say I felt slightly scared. "Here's the book. You'll find the information on him on page 437. Look, I know you're friends, but I just can't help but think that come next month you'll land yourself in the hospital wing because of him." I shivered.

"But I- he's not a werewolf." I said, trying to keep my voice indistinguishable.

"Look. It runs in families, and everyone knows his father was one," she looked around again. "His dad once attacked the famous Harry Potter and his friends-" She looked around yet again. "And even the old potions master." I tensed, frozen in shock. "And Harry Potter was only thirteen years old." I stared at her wide eyed. "Just be careful... I'd stay away if I were you. He can't be trusted. I don't even know how he got into Hufflepuff." I nodded mutely, turning to leave when her firm hand landed on my shoulder, and she whipped me around to face her, now only centimeters away from me. "When you finish with this book, don't take it to the library, give it back to me. It's from the restri-"

"Luca, come on, let's get ready for dinner." Luca startled me from behind, taking me from Aminata and guiding me out of the classroom. It was only now, while looking around, that I'd realized the majority of students had already left, including Professor Belmonte. On our way to the restroom, we were walking the halls alone.

"What did she say to you? You're looking a little bit flushed."

"Nothing." I said, then I shoved the two books over to Luca. "She gave you this. Says you'd asked her for the bigger one."

"Oh, and this one, _Fifteenth Century Fiends_?" He asked, opening to the first page. "This isn't the book we use in Defense right now. What's this one for?" I suddenly became very annoyed with Luca and I hated how daft he was behaving.

"It seems you should know. After all, you go having conversations with her about me, so isn't it obvious?" I said, grumbling. I felt my metamorphmagus begin to wear off as my mind let thoughts swirl and fester into a self-deprecating storm. We entered the bathroom.

"What on earth are you on about?" He asked. I couldn't hold myself back anymore, turning to him and snapping.

"Are you friends with her? Do you talk bad about me with her? About-" I held my breath. "I trusted you, w-we're best friends, why...?"

"What? I'm not friends with her, she's an arse to you. I could never-"

"Then why does she go talking to you like one?" By this point, both of us had gone back to our original form, and I had resorted to yelling in order to keep my tears at bay.

"Wh- are you joking right now-"

"No! I'm not joking! You're the only person who knows everything she does and- what? Do you not care or something?"

"Of course I care! I'm not her friend!"

"Then wh-"

"We study together!" I suddenly shut up, feeling myself get smaller. Luca skipped a beat, then spoke again.

"She's smart, okay?! And I'm just... My marks aren't that great right now! I went to her for help and she gave it to me. She's not that mean to me either, actually not at all! But we aren't friends! She's always spouting all of this werewolf nonsense saying that you're going to kill us all! I can't be friends with her when she's doing something like that!" He explained breathlessly.

"You could have asked me for help." I whispered. "I-I know I'm not some sort of Ravenclaw or anything, but we could have figured something out together."

"Teddy, you're struggling just as much as I am. Asking Aminata was the best thing to do. You have to see that." He explained desperately. "I don't know why she has it out for you but I haven't turned my back on you like you're thinking." He gestured off to the side at nothing. He uses hand gestures that don't really make sense often.

"I-I'm sorry, I-"

"What did she tell you that made you think that?" He said, getting closer to me.

"It's nothing-" I said, lip quivering as I desperately tried to hide the affect her words had on me- what she said about my father.

"Ted, we may have only known each other for a month, but I know it's not nothing." He said matter-of-factly. I took in a breath, almost like a gasp.

"It's nothing-"

"Stop- saying that... Please?" He put a soft, tentative hand on my shoulder, and I found that my tears had decided to disobey my commands and flow freely as I took several short, troubled breaths.

"She said I'm going to attack you and put you in the hospital wing." I paused, choking on the air as I took it down in rapid gulps.

"She said that since my father was a werewolf, that I am. And she told me, that-" by now I was hyperventilating. "She's heard that my dad once transformed and attacked-" another gasp. "Uncle Harry, a-and he hurt people and ran away-" by now I was a terribly embarrassed, blubbering, emotional mess, and I let Luca bring me into a hug as I slumped into him, feeling defeated.

"They make it sound like he was evil, like he made me evil." I mumbled helplessly as I cried into Luca's shoulder.

"How can he make me evil if I never even got to meet him-" my voice cracked. "How could he make me evil if he wasn't even-" I paused, taking a shaken breath.

"He helped Uncle Harry in the war so much that he and mum died for him," I gasped for air. "But n-no. Just because Rita Skeeter prints a few rubbish articles-" I sniffled "-suddenly parents tell their children to stay away. Suddenly people think I'm a danger- a monster-" I closed my eyes tight, unable to speak anymore.

"A-and- sometimes I wonder if they never knew Uncle Harry then maybe they wouldn't have died- and I know it's wrong to think it's his fault but- maybe if my parents didn't care so much they would have just stayed with me at home and not have gone fighting for him." I sniffled, closing my eyes tight. "And who knows? Maybe thinking like that about Uncle Harry makes me evil- because I know it wasn't his fault, but sometimes I just think about them and I miss them and I-" I swallowed the remainder of my words, mentally criticizing myself. _This is exactly why Uncle Harry gets sad. If I think the same things it only justifies his attempt to stop living. I don't want to lose him too._

My senses and awareness of the fact that I was breaking down on Lucas's shoulders, and crying into his jumper- well, my jumper- came back when he sucked in an analytical breath, speaking: "I don't think you're evil, a monster, or a werewolf. And neither do Bonnie, Wendy, Gabriel, or my roommates... I know it's not much compared to the rest of the school but," he paused. "At least you know that there'll always be people who have your back. At least you know I'll always have your back." I sniffled.

"You're the best, you know that?" I said with a broken chuckle and a worn voice.

"Thanks." He said with a fond smirk. "You're pretty awesome too."


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys so much and I'm also hyped over the WandaVision finale so y'all get another chapter today. Enjoy! : )
> 
> This will not affect the usual update schedule, I will still continue to post as normal

—Draco POV—

The day had really started quiet, and calm. I awoke to the golden sun streaming through the bedroom window, providing me with a blanket of warmth and light as I opened my well-rested eyes. I shifted in bed, noting that Harry was very much awake and laying beside me. I turned over, draping my arm around him and planting a kiss onto his temple, whispering a good morning.

He was indeed exhausted, despite his morning alertness. We took what little time we had left before having to start the day to hold each other, kissing in random places and telling each other little things that really had no substance. He mentioned at one point how everything seemed to be swaying, almost. That he had tried to get an early start before I'd woken, and found that standing was disorienting and dizzying. I told him he needed breakfast, and to not worry, that I would make some, and bring it up, with the promise that he would, at the very least, eat an egg.

Breakfast was also fairly simple and relaxing as Scorpius and I whipped something up and I had to explain to him that no, Harry was not feeling up to sitting at the table with us. I have to admit, as odd and tense as things were in the days after I had explained what was so different between me and Harry, versus just two friends, things were beginning to settle again, and Scorpius and I were falling into our old rhythm as usual. It was contenting in a simple, tension-free sort of way, to acknowledge that living at 12, Grimmauld Place was finally coming to a routine of sorts. Our heads weren't spinning every second and Rita Skeeter had seemingly grown bored of writing new articles and theories about us. The mail from previous admirers-turned-sour-from-betrayal for Harry, had slowly come to a halt, and all was, surprisingly, quite tranquil.

After eating my own breakfast with Scorpius, I did bring a small plate upstairs to Harry, who was sitting up, and who apologized profusely for his 'stupid inability to do the simplest things'. He ate a small portion of food, for which I was grateful, and I told him to take it easy, to rest for a while, and to let me help him get around, since it was painfully obvious that he isn't doing well, and his stubborn lack of eating was one of the main contributing factors.

I made a stop by his Muggle pharmacist to refill his medicine, being careful to not be seen. Then, after about an hour and a half of teaching Scorpius the difference between a synonym, and a definition, as well as showing him how metaphors and similes are similar, and can enhance the experience of a reader in books- showing him an abundance of examples and testing him on knowing the difference between the two nearly identical concepts- I asked Scorpius if he was possibly up to learning how to fly his broom today, to which he responded with "I want to wait and learn with Teddy."

I respected that, and we moved on to learning about adding fractions, when we were interrupted, quite rudely I might add, by a loud banging on the door.

My look of bother, annoyance, and disgust at who could have interrupted such a calm and relaxing day promptly faded to that of fear as the door busted open with a loud protest by the house consisting of creaks, a blast, and a cloud of dust and pollen from the outside. Dread filled me to the brim as I heard the deep, scruffy voice of a man on the other side of the doorway, monotonously and plainly stating, with a boring tone of practiced, refined and unwavering professionalism:

"Aurors Berrycloth, Weasley, and Williamson have full permission by the Ministry of Magic, and the Magical Congress of the United States, on behalf of Minister Kingsley Shaklebolt, and President Samuel Quahog, to place Mister Draco Lucius Malfoy under arrest- for endangerment of the Statue of Secrecy, and suspicion of irresponsible use of the Obliviate charm on a Muggle."

Before I could process any of what was happening, my arms were being forcefully twisted behind me by one of the Aurors I didn't recognize, and he cast a localized Incarcerous spell at my wrists, which were now bound tightly by thick ropes as the man forced me to kneel on the ground. I struggled against him, confused, but most of all, infuriated.

"Get your hands off of me you imbecile, I haven't done anything wrong- Harry!" His name ripped itself from my throat, leaving it irritated and burning. In a blind rush, I whipped my head over to where Scorpius was, seeing him panicked, and on the verge of tears. I jerked around to remove myself from the Aurors' grip, only for my attempts to be proven as futile when he forced me into stillness once again, muttering a "Don't make me use a stunning spell on you."

Suddenly, Ron was walking past me, dressed in his Auror uniform, looking more tidy and professional than I'd seen him in my entire life, sparing me a pitiful glance, before going over to Scorpius. "I swear Weasley if you do anything-"

"If I were you I'd stop struggling." He said solemnly, cutting me off. "They won't hesitate to jinx you if you keep at it." He finished, kneeling towards Scorpius with a tentative hand on his shoulder. I shuddered. _If he thinks he can do something to my son..._

"Harry, Harry!" I screamed, yelled even. I heard a fumble, and a thunk from upstairs, causing my to spiral into my own panicked frenzy as I no longer let my attempts at freedom be known as weak. One of the Aurors gave a nod to another, who had managed to take my wand without me knowing, and started upstairs. I lurched towards him painfully as the Auror holding me down struggled to reach his wand while keeping me in his grip.

"Let me go! Let me go to him! You idiots, his health is fragile." I said, sneering in frustration. I looked back over to Scorpius, who I saw was being calmed by Weasley- _thank Merlin he has half a brain._ I continued my own fight from the mans hold when I felt myself go stiff and rigid, falling to the floor with a numbingly painful thud. My insides were quaking as I came to the realization that I had been hit by a full body bind, and could no longer move or speak. I watched and listened still as Scorpius let out a scream of terror, running towards me, and I could do nothing but stare blankly as Weasley tried to move him away, continuously stating "He's fine, don't worry, he just can't move."

At this moment I could feel nothing but hate for him and his colleagues as they unknowingly released a locked cage of fears within my already struggling son, whose eyes reflected pain, and a terror he should never have had to experience: thinking I was dead for a second time.

Many thundering footsteps later and I heard one Auror talking to another.

"He's dizzy, it seems he fell up there."

I felt my muscles twitch in an effort to get to what was undoubtedly Harry, who must've stood too quickly when I called him, and collapsed before the other Auror could get to him.

"What's going on here?" Harry asked, after giving me, Scorpius, Weasley, and the other Auror an urgent, inquisitive glance.

"Auror Potter-"

"Please, I left the Auror offices years ago."

"Mister Potter, we must take you all to Minister Shacklebolt's office on his request, as you are harboring Mister Draco Lucius Malfoy, who is now under arrest, and awaiting criminal trial."


	52. Chapter 52

—Harry POV—

"You can't be serious." I said through gritted teeth. "What has he done? He has a spotless record-"

"I wouldn't say 'spotless', Harry." I bit back an insult and my skin was crawling. I gave Kingsley a challenging stare, and he looked right back at me almost uncaring.

"Okay, that was eleven years ago, and if I remember clearly, he's been cleared of all Death Eater-related charges, on account of him and his mother saving my life multiple times-"

"This isn't a so much a matter of the Ministry, but rather the MACUSA."

"The- what?" I said in irritated confusion. That was when the man standing beside Kingsley's desk stepped forward, holding his hand out. The man was my height, with straight black hair styled neatly into place, fair skin, and Asiatic eyes. He was wearing a powder-blue shirt with a navy tie, and a black coat.

"Samuel Quahong, president of the Magical Congress of the United States. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mister Potter." I looked him up and down, almost taking offense.

"What could Draco have possibly done in America to warrant his arrest months after leaving?" I asked suspiciously. His perfectly pristine, plaster smile faltered as he put his outstretched arm back to his side, realizing that I had no intention in shaking his hand.

"Yes, well, let's see here," he started with a sigh, pulling out a parchment to read. "Draco Malfoy was hiding in the No-Maj world, and in the process, grew close relations with a Maria Jimenez-" another sigh "-in the height of what is possibly the largest threat to the statue of secrecy in history." He met my fury-laden gaze with a cold, soulless one. "Then, he seemingly obliviated her, and left without reporting the incident to MACUSA."

"That was almost an eternity ago-" I began to retort, before my attention turned to Scorpius, who was distraught and confused.

"Maria? What did she do? What happened to her?" Asked an absolutely frantic Scorpius, who was, quite understandably, scared out of his wits as Ron held him almost protectively by the shoulders, and Draco was, well, still in a full body bind, laying on the floor where Auror Berrycloth had so carelessly put him. If it weren't for the constant spinning of my head and hiding my now more-than-common shaking, I would have started a fight with him on the spot. I looked over at Auror Williamson, who still had both mine, and Draco's wands in his hand, standing proudly in his spot. I wanted to wipe the look on his face clean-off, but I could barely even handle the excruciatingly nauseating Floo trip we took over here.

"He didn't Obliviate her, I did." I started, feeling the anger rise within me. "So if you are going to take anyone away, be it me. Besides, how were we supposed to know that there was a statue threat, when _your_ Wizarding newspapers clearly weren't announcing it? And what about me? And Ginny Weasley? Are you going to arrest us for visiting a Muggle councilor? What makes Draco so different-"

"Harry, please, you're too energetic for us." Said Kingley tiredly. I snapped my head towards him in frustration, instantly regretting the bout of dizziness it gave me.

"We've been hiding in the Muggle world for the better part of ten years. I'm sure you would understand us not getting the memo." I bit towards the President.

"This issue of the woman who wrote all of these books started in 1997, during your war-"

"So then _surely_ you can't have expected us to know, we had much more important things to worry about!" I shouted, swirling with emotions too intense to sit down with.

"When we discovered what Mister Malfoy did to Maria-"

"It was me." I interrupted. He sighed deeply.

"What _you_ did to Maria, a No-Maj, we sent our department to rectify the situation, successfully, I might add, and-"

"So why in Merlin's name did you track us down then?" I screamed, desperately trying to find sense in the situation, Scorpius' silent crying in the corner and Draco's being fully unresponsive being no help whatsoever. I retreated from my offensive stance when Kingsley cleared his throat, standing up with a great sigh.

"Perhaps- Harry is right. You seemed to have rectified the problem with your own Aurors, and no overall damage was done to the Statue of Secrecy. Draco Malfoy obviously was merely being flippant in his attempt to live in the Muggle world, and did nothing illegal here, nor in your country, therefore, has no need to be arrested." He explained, making himself appear incredibly drained, to say the very least. I swallowed my pride, unclenching my jaw, and drawing a breath I had seemingly forgotten to take earlier.

I quickly went to correct his words: "Draco was being as careful as any Wizard or Witch could be. _I_ obliviated Maria. _Me. Harry Potter._ If it's really such a problem, arrest me. There was nothing careless about Draco living in Ame-" I was cut off by Kingsley clearing his throat.

"Auror Williamson, if you will," said Kingsley, ignoring my fit of passion. Auror Williamson stepped towards me begrudgingly, handing me my wand back, as well as Draco's. "Auror Berrycloth, you may remove Mister Malfoy's bind."

In an instant, an incredibly weary, and shaking Draco had moved, and I rushed over to help him stand, grabbing him by the arms and offering stability as he looked around, regaining his bearings, and mumbling "Scorpius, Scorpius," over and over. A quick glance up at Ron, and he let Scorpius come crashing into Draco's arms, sobbing quietly as Draco smoothed his hair with one hand, encasing him in a hug with the other arm.

"Shh, it's okay. Everything is okay, I'm okay, you're okay..." I averted my eyes, allowing them to have their moment, meanwhile I stared back sourly at Kingsley.

"Draco never stepped even a _hair_ out of line." I said, making a face like I'd taste something awful. "And you have the Aurors showing up out of nowhere to arrest him? In front of his son? A child?" The room was deafeningly still aside from Scorpius' sniffles and Sobs, accompanied by Draco's comforting him. "Have you even gotten closer to figuring out who caused this problem in the first place? Who wrote all of these books?" Kingsley and the American President both looked at me, baffled, and at a loss for words. "Yet you find it justified to waste your time, and mine, and frankly everyone else's time, arresting an innocent man. It's shameful." I spat.

"Enjoy your day, and thank you for the oh-so-welcome visit. I do hope _not_ to recreate it anytime soon." I said, voice low.

"I do apologize, Harry." Said Kingsley. "And if you like, take my office's Floo. Your arrival has already stirred rumors, and, well," he looked me up and down, and it was then I realized I was still in my pajamas, crinkled and messy. We caught each other's glance, and I noticed a glint of sympathy in Kingsley's eyes.

"Take care of yourself, Harry. I do hope that next time we see each other will be on friendlier terms."


	53. Chapter 53

—Draco POV—

The smoothly spread navy ink of the night, dappled by the ever-distant, white, shining stars, had me in a sort of trance the evening after everything with the ministry. I couldn't help but lose myself as I watched the sky, thinking about everything, and nothing- trying to work out how I was going to answer Scorpius' latest question of "What happened eleven years ago that Harry mentioned?" without lying, and without tainting his image of me, his last remaining parent, and the only person he has to look up to in his young life. A part of me hoped he would forget, so I could tell him about it when he was older.

I was brought out of my hazy view of the night sky from the window at the feeling of two arms tenderly wrapping themselves around my waist, and Harry's chin resting itself on my shoulder. I leaned into him.

"It's the middle of the night, didn't you go to bed with Scorpius tonight?" He whispered curiously. "Why're you awake?"

"I could ask you the same question." I responded, feeling myself sink into the comfort of his embrace as I continued looking out into the vast, endless outer space.

"I couldn't sleep. I imagine you couldn't either?" I shook my head as if to say 'no, I couldn't sleep either'.

"I think Scorpius will be fine as long as I'm there for him to wake up. Today's events have got him anxious about losing me again." I admitted.

"I'm sorry about that, they're barking if they think they can take you away for no reason."

"Don't apologize, it had nothing to do with you. Plus, you can't blame them for being cautious, after all..." I let my voice trail, not wanting, or needing, to finish that sentence.

"It still gives them no right." He mumbled sleepily into my shoulder. I turned around so that I could hold him for a while, instead of him holding me, and he allowed it, wordlessly falling into the same position I was in only moments earlier while my arms were loosely draped over him as he fell into me. I turned, letting my lips brush up against his neck before he turned and I gave him a small, gentle kiss on the lips.

"What were you thinking about?" He whispered, looking intently into my eyes.

"Everything: Scorpius, the war, us..." I answered vaguely. "It's just one of those nights to think." I said, letting us fall into another slow, gentle kiss. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, I'm still shaking and stuff, but that's expected."

"Usual and expected are two different things." I mumbled through another kiss, letting us part to look at each other.

"What goes through your head that stops you from eating every time?" I asked, letting the conversation fall into more serious territory, while our voices remained a light whisper.

"No, don't do that, I was enjoying our conversation." He complained, pouting.

"Come on, it's important, Harry. Stop avoiding the conversation." I explained, allowing him to leave our backwards hug, taking me in for a proper one and resting his head on my chest.

"It's nothing important, besides, it's you and Scorpius we need to worry about." He mumbled stubbornly. "Besides, you already know. It's just me being stupid and self-critical."

"Well next time tell me, so I can tell you how wrong your thoughts are, because I guarantee you're lying to yourself... Okay?" I whispered it into his ear, like a secret that would shatter if held improperly. He only closed his eyes, releasing a long, slow, soft exhale, and not giving a response otherwise. I didn't mind it though, fully aware that he needs to digest what I'm telling him and come to terms with the reality of his actions. I understood the dangers of listening too much to your mind, of beating yourself senseless as a means of punishment. It's difficult to go against oneself, I know. That's why I let him lean further into me as I held him gently.

It didn't take long at all for me to observe how his eyes were moving around under his lids, how he was making all sorts of micro-expressions, furrowing his brows, and creasing his forehead; he was having a conversation with himself in his mind.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, my voice remaining light and wispy, yet solid and sure.

"Those books." He answered after a moment, opening his eyes and shifting around to look at the sky, so I was hugging him from behind again.

"What about them?" I pressed gently, allowing myself to look back out at the sky as well.

"How have they not traced her to anyone in the Wizarding World? How are they no closer to finding out who she is now than twelve years ago when she started? And how did they let the problem grow so large? I may be over-thinking, but it almost seems like they aren't trying, or just don't care... I know the ministry was in shambles for a while there, but that gives the Americans no excuse. It's not like they were roped up in helping us with the war." he finished with a sigh, before leaving our embrace with a start, turning around to face me with a deeply troubled expression.

"And how... how did she know... almost everything? ...Do you know how much it sucks that my best friends learned of my abuse through quote-on-quote 'fantasy children's books' and- How did the happenings within that house even reach the light of day? How did that blasted, supposed Muggle, know about, well everything? Even- She even knew about my... visions, my nightmares, about Sirius, about the tournament. It's like she was there the whole time hiding-"

"Harry, take a breath, please lower your voice just a tad, you're getting worked up." I said gently, going towards him and taking his hands, which were trembling.

"Am I wrong to be asking these questions though? How- I could have sworn I was alone in that cupboard, in my room, in the room of requirements-" He froze, then spoke again, more softly. "In the chamber of secrets... When Cedric died... With Ron and Hermione, in the forest, all those months... when I dueled you..." His breath hitched, and he moved away from me again. "God, Draco, don't do this to me, not now." He stated firmly, with fear in his eyes.

"Harry, I haven't said anything... Please, your shaking is getting worse... Just follow my voice, breathe, slowly." I began to murmur, recognizing the signs of panic in him. He began to move towards the floor, curling himself into a ball, I eased him back up, into a hug. "Shh, relax...listen to my voice... don't worry about anything else." I whispered into his ear. "There's nothing to worry about. Just focus on this, focus on me. Feel the floor beneath your feet, the fabric of your shirt." He twitched, breathing heavily. I began to pass my hand through his hair. "Don't worry. We'll figure it all out with time, we can't ask ourselves everything at once, we don't want to get overwhelmed."

"I should have paid more attention. How could I have missed somebody watching me, looking inside of me, all my life... all to make a stupid bloody story..."

"It could have happened to anyone," I began, letting his words sink in. "What happened, it's beyond normal. I'm sure that whoever did it has probably done it to other people too, she probably probes people's lives like that for a living. Don't let it destroy you, please. It's not worth breaking down over." I said, attempting to ease his thoughts.

"Why me?" He pleaded with a cracked voice, holding back tears. I was rendered silent for a moment, his heart-wrenching tone making my own chest twist and ache. After regaining myself, I leaned further into our hug, answering him.

"You were famous before you even turned two years old." I paused. "Your parents before you were famous... Harry... people have always been watching you, before you could even understand it." I reasoned.

"I know." He whispered, his broken voice barely audible. "But it's not fair. I never asked for the fame, the rumors, the popularity... I've ruined so many lives because of it. I made people lose their lives in my name-"

"No, Harry," I cut him off, silencing the nasty thoughts. "That was not your fault. Death claims its victims without discrimination, without caring who it affects. It wasn't your fault. We were in war, you happened to be Voldemort's main target. That's not your fault."

He remained silent, only occasionally sniffling, pressing himself more tightly against me, trying to make the already long-fallen tears leave. After a long while, he let go of me, wiping his nose with his sleeve.

"Sorry about your shirt." I glanced down to understand what he was saying. There were quite obviously tear stains on my pajama shirt. I looked back up at Harry, who was numbly glancing every which way, sniffling loudly as he wiped his eyes, eventually settling his sights off into the distance of the hallway, the ghost of an imperfect smile on his face. He shifted his feet bashfully. He swallowed his pride, hugging himself in an almost empty way.

"I don't care about my shirt..." I said, leaving my words to work as a the hollowed out shell of a joke. I took in his appearance again as he remained looking sideways down the wide hallway. "Let's get to sleep, okay? We can talk about the books another time. When we're more calmed down- settled." I said, reaching a tentative hand out and placing it on his shoulder. "We both need the rest."

He sniffled again, "But Scorpius," He sated, keeping his glance down the hallway, wiping his eyes again.

"I'll wake early, before him. Don't worry about that. You don't need to worry about that." I moved to stand in front of where he was facing, and he cracked a smile with his tear-stained face, letting his head fall into my chest as he suppressed a sort of half-cry-half-chuckle.

"Let's get to bed." I said fondly, wrapping my arm around him, allowing him to lean into me as we made our way down the hall.

Entering our room, he said: "I don't know why I laughed. It was inappropriate." I closed the door behind us, then turned to him.

"It's perfectly understandable. You're tired, you're overwhelmed, _hungry_..." I emphasized the word 'hungry', but continued quickly so he couldn't respond to it. "You just need to rest. I guarantee that tomorrow, you will feel at least a little bit better."

He seemed to accept my answer and we both wordlessly crawled into the cool, soft bed, holding each other closely as sleep took us over, sending us into a world that is only our own, only for ourselves to experience, to think in, to feel in. A world where everything could go so terribly wrong, but could also all go perfectly right.


End file.
